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Introduction, First appointment tomorrow



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Hello. 48 year old married female mother of three here. I've been reading these boards for a while as I make this life changing decision. I have my first pre-op appointment tomorrow with my bariatric surgeon and can't wait. I've been spending the past several weeks working on my list of questions and trying to change my habits. Last fall I put a sticky note on my monitor with a symbol representing the need for change, and that if I did not succeed on my own I would start researching other options. Long story short, the day for other options is here as I weigh about 20 pounds more than I did last year. Like many here I know I can lose the weight. However, the day always comes when I can't white knuckle it anymore and then comes the regain and then some. Dieting interspersed with hectic lifestyle choices has resulted in my weighing 100 pounds more than I did 2 decades ago. I consider myself lucky that I have relatively few health problems, however I also feel my body is a ticking time bomb.

I have fears, but for me I have decided that the potential benefits far outweigh the risks. I can't wait to work in the garden without my joints hurting, go ice skating again and have the ENERGY I once did for traveling, physical activity, just cleaning up the house. I can't wait to travel without being so self conscious. I once got off of a plane in Ireland (as a size 18) and a woman came up to me and said "are you American?" I have no idea why she asked, but she marked my response down on her clipboard and started looking for other people to talk to. It was nothing to do with customs/etc. I was horrified and walked away quickly, jumping to the conclusion she was looking for overweight people to poll for some sort of research project. Weird I know, but I've thought about it ever since (she didn't bother to ask my naturally skinny husband of course). Now I hope to return to Ireland one day and actually do those things I chickened out of like climbing Skellig Michael (all 618 steps).

One of my biggest fears oddly enough is the inevitable well meaning comments/complements. I really struggle to tolerate unsolicited comments about weight loss and find them to be a terrible invasion of privacy. What's even worse are those comments along the lines of "you've lost enough, don't lose too much" when you're still 50 pounds overweight (which I've experienced SO many times). I'm already working on my polite replies to this which will hopefully put an end to that subject while also educating the person about healthy weight AND boundaries :).

I am a very private person, with posts such as this being a first for me. I've really enjoyed reading all your posts and feel well prepared for my appointment tomorrow. Thank you.

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I am a year out and I don’t like all the attention about my weight either. The novelty wears off though and people stop commenting about it. When they say that they think you have lost enough and not to get too small, though, just say that you are working with a doctor and you will stick to their advise about what weight is healthy for you. Being a private person too I totally get it but it’s worth going through that to get all the benefits that weight loss brings.

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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