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your right ,but it is easier said than done. I know it is no ones fault but my own. I am trying harder than before and am doing better. I hope I can stick with it long term this time.

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Bigb

I think you need a kick in the butt.... If you like Cookies and can't say no to them then why do you buy them in the first place - go throw them away !!! If they aren't there you can't eat them - If you have proper restriction you wouldn't be able to eat huge amounts of food - for your tool to work you gotta maintain it.. You say you drink with meals - Why you are not suppose to and you know this Why did you get banded?? Did you think in the back of your mind that this was the magic cure to your food issues??

I too miss food - yes we all used it to cover up our feeling - even if is was just as simple as being bored to as complicated as being abused. We used food to sooth our feelings.

You and only you have control over what you put in your mouth - you say you didn't eat for 45 day - then once you could eat you cant stop..

Why didn't you eat for 45 day??? The band is the tool to help you retrain yourself - you must eat to live - I think you may have been looking at the band as something different than what it's designed for.

Don't wait for tomorrow to start over - start over the minute you know you ate something you shouldn't..

I agree you may need to find a new counsler - you are sabotaging yourself - Why - what are you afaird of ??? I chose this surgery to help me to live longer to see my grandkids marry. Yes at times it's hard but once you truely understand this is a LIFETIME LIFESTYLE change you will succeed - I eat healthy 98% of the time - go to the gym 4-5 days a week and do allow myself treats (not cheats but treats) but when i do I pay myself back - by exercising more or eating a little less at my next meal.

I truely do not mean to come off as a "B" but imho i think you need tough band love (operative word being love) - I won't baby you - i am going to tell you eat low fat - sugar few - healthy - Protein 1st - dont drink your Water until 1/2 hr after a meal Go talk to your doctor - get the help you need - don't just sit there feeling sorry for yourself - get up off your butt and fix it - you can do it- you just have to put your mind to it - you have the tool that will help you - now help yourself.

Best of luck to you...

Well said IndioGirl, couldn't have said it better myself. It is hard for most people on here. I was having dinner with family tonight.. me with my 1 egg and a bit of bread and them stuffing their faces. I said I would love to be able to eat like that again but then said it was that which got me here in the first place. I had to have SURGERY to stop this craziness and get my health back. I have been lucky with my journey so far so I feel for anyone going through this the hard way. Bigb, it sounds like the therapist you seeing isn't helping... tell her you need her to work with you on this. If that doesn't work find someone else. In the end, though, it is still up to you to do this. Talk to your doctor about a better fill and see how that works. Good luck.

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your right ,but it is easier said than done. I know it is no ones fault but my own. I am trying harder than before and am doing better. I hope I can stick with it long term this time.

Bigb I am fat too... You aren't talking to someone who has 10 or 20 lbs to lose.. You are talking to someone who has 100 lbs to lose... This isn't a walk in the park - you gotta change your mindset - don't use words like I Hope - but I WILL STICK WITH THIS LONG TERM - positive afirmations... I am a true beleiver in positive thinking if you think you can't then you can't - if you think you can you will.

Pre-band I had just given up on even trying to lose weight - it was just to dang hard - I said I was happy the way I was - i was me no matter if i was fat or thin.. but you want to know a secret - I wasn't - I didn't want people to see how fat i had gotten. I wouldn't even go to the dentist for my annual cleanings - now what to talk about being ashamed - I was ashamed - I would sleep my weekends away - I had no energy - I had no motivation - just to clean the house would wear me out.

The band is your tool to lose your weight - You so lucky to have this tool at your disposal - I wish at your age I had such a tool -

Bigb you can do this one day at a time. One hour at a time if need be - food is our drug of choice and our addication is no diff than someone who does herion - in fact ours is worst cuz we have to eat to live - so we have to expose ourselves to our drug every day and learn to control it - and not let it control us..

You can do this - I beleive in you - you just need some positive reinforcement - and I will give you that - when you are down and want to eat - get on line - talk to us here - we are a great support system we will help you - you can p.m. me anytime.

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Thanks for the support. I have had a great day so far. started with a hotdog bun covered in peanutbutter when I first got up. I ate it before I realized that I was't going to eat like that anymore. I have recovered and am doing very good today. This forum is probably the best idea that therapist has had.

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I am familiar with the unconscious eating...try starting your morning differantly. Maybe start a dream journal, write first thing in the morning. It gets your mind working and re read you goal each morning it will remind you to start your day right...

good luck so many of us have been there.

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I say if your counselor isn't keeping you in check and making you accountable, you need a counselor that won't pussy foot around you.

I have my moments, and my violet sistas have filled me with all kinds of words of encouragement. One day at a time. Get through THIS day, worry about tomorrow-tomorrow.

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I would love to have a cookie. Heck there is a lady here at work that sells candy bars from fall to spring. I would love one of those also. But I don't. I have a mantra that I repete "You had surgery to lose weight, SURGERY!" (Thanks again for that one OH Juli). It also helps to have something to do when the cravings hit. I will get on my treadmill at home or go for a walk around the office at work. Heck, just coming to LBT when I had a craving helps. Good luck.

I wrote down the quote and will use it, too. SURGERY!!!

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Thanks for the support. I have had a great day so far. started with a hotdog bun covered in peanutbutter when I first got up. I ate it before I realized that I was't going to eat like that anymore. I have recovered and am doing very good today. This forum is probably the best idea that therapist has had.

Bigb - Go get a fill - call your doctor today!!!! - use the tool - if you had good restiction you would not be able to eat this. I threw away a jar of Peanut Butter - cuz i would go in a get a teaspoon - then another - too many calories -so i just threw it in the trash saying "better in thee than in me"

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As I am still a new bandster (3 months), I had the perfect reality check last night as to how great this tool is. I went to a staff holiday dinner. I ate salad, rolls, big dinner, dessert. Mentally, I wanted to eat it ALL. And pre-band...I would have. But, I ate no salad, half my meal, a roll, and dessert. I was kinda beating myself up for "eating so much" but I realized that preband, I would have pigged out and eaten every course. I don't think it was my will power that got me through last night.... but my band.

Use your tool!!!!

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Been trying hard and doing well. I do believe I need a fill. I will take care of that as soon as possible. Until then thanks for the support. I looked at all 70 pages of before and after pics and that was very encouraging.

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I've thrown away entire loaves of bread, whole jars of Peanut Butter, boxes of Cookies, whatever is tempting me. Go through your kitchen and toss whatever it is that will tempt you to binge and get rid of it. Mush it up in the garbage and throw rotten stuff on top of it, or else you will dig it out again when you want it. Believe me, I know. I've actually gone out to our outside underground garbage can and pawed through stuff to get to donuts I tossed.

In other words, you aren't alone, you aren't evil, you aren't bad. You have a problem with food like all of us. But you are also a thinking human being and you can figure out a way to stop yourself from doing the binging and unconscious eating. The best way is to not have anything around to attract you, and the second is to get a good fill.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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