Cannot imagine life a year from now

[vikingbeast 987]

Today I was walking through the center of town (closed to cars) and was people-watching... how easily they moved, how energetic they seemed to be.

I'm having a lot of trouble reconciling the idea that a year from now, if I stick to the plan and keep working the way I know I can, I could be that way.

I've been so obese for so long that I can't imagine a life where I can just... go to a store and buy pants. Or just... decide to sleep somewhere else without having to pack up my CPAP. Or just... run for the sake of running. I literally cannot imagine it. It should be a source of motivation, but it's impossible for me to wrap my mind around it. And then I get all overwhelmed.

I've failed so many times before, that I don't dare let myself hope.

[STLoser 1,099]

A year ago, I was in your shoes. I weighed 393 pounds and was having so much trouble getting around. I had been obese for so long too, and because I'm short I still am, but I am still losing. I weigh 219 right now and things have changed IMMENSELY from a year ago. I walk with ease and don't get short of breath anymore. My asthma, which only was diagnosed 10 years ago when I became super obese, is so much better that I barely know I have it. I can't remember the last time I needed my rescue inhaler, and my Dr. decreased the dose of my daily preventative inhaler. Most importantly, I have reversed my fatty liver disease, which is the biggest reason I did this surgery.
It's hard to imagine right now, but you will be here, and you will feel so much better. I wish you the best of luck!

Sent from my Nokia 7.2 using BariatricPal mobile app

[NovaLuna 710]

When you've been morbidly obese or super morbidly obese (which was my case) for so long it's really hard to imagine a time when you'll be able to walk for more than 2 minutes and not get out of breath. It's hard to imagine going to the doctor and not having them IMMEDIATELY bring up your weight, even when it had absolutely nothing to do with why you were at the doctor in the first place. It's hard to wrap your head around going out in public and not having strangers gawking at you and judging you because of your size. I couldn't wrap my head around that at all because I had been obese for more than 20 years and super morbidly obese for half of that time. I was 32 when I had my surgery (I'm 34 now) so trying to wrap my head around NOT being obese was impossible. I didn't know what that would feel like, and I think a part of me thought that no matter how hard I tried I just wouldn't get there. But I did. I'm 19 months post op now and when I go to the doctor my weight is NEVER brought up unless I bring it up myself. I don't get stared at anymore for doing simple things like going grocery shopping. And, the best part is that I don't get out of breath from just walking. I had a lung function test done before surgery and my asthma was tested as 'severe'. My doctor had me recently do another lung function test and now my asthma is 'mild'.

It's hard to imagine how things will be a year or two from now, but you have a lot to look forward to! I wish you the best on your journey!

[bufbills 316]

It is hard to imagine. And when you get there, it's even harder to believe. I'll say this. It works and will work if you do your part. Believe in the process and believe in yourself. You've got this!

[catwoman7 11,284]

I felt the same way. Overweight in my teens, obese in my early adulthood, morbidly (or super morbidly) obese once I got into my 30s. And then suddenly normal weight once I hit my late 50s. It's definitely bizarre - but it'll happen if you really work the program!

[Officially Not Fatty Matty 462]

On 08/23/2021 at 21:34, vikingbeast said:

Today I was walking through the center of town (closed to cars) and was people-watching... how easily they moved, how energetic they seemed to be.

I'm having a lot of trouble reconciling the idea that a year from now, if I stick to the plan and keep working the way I know I can, I could be that way.

I've been so obese for so long that I can't imagine a life where I can just... go to a store and buy pants. Or just... decide to sleep somewhere else without having to pack up my CPAP. Or just... run for the sake of running. I literally cannot imagine it. It should be a source of motivation, but it's impossible for me to wrap my mind around it. And then I get all overwhelmed.

I've failed so many times before, that I don't dare let myself hope.

Hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of things. One of my favorite movie quotes (perhaps it is a direct quote from the short story)… anyhow… the change in one year can be so drastic (in a good way) it’s not even possible to imagine. I’m about 14 months out and it’s simply unreal. I had a reason to review security footage of my shop yesterday and I freaked out when I saw someone I didn’t recognize… it was me. That moment of “who the hell is that” didn’t last long, but I kept watching me walk around and move and it was just amazing to think that a year ago I was morbidly obese, now I’m healthy, off all my meds (except restless leg stuff which isn’t related to weight), sleep well, can get down on the ground to look under my car if I drop something, play basketball with my kids, take my shirt off when I swim in public (like the shirt ever fooled anyone anyway). It’s life changing and amazing and yes I wished I did it sooner (I’m 46) but I’m still just thrilled I did it at all. How many winters did I say “I’m going to lose weight so I can enjoy the summer” only to fail… how many class reunions did I avoid because I didn’t want to be seen as “oh look how big he got…” how many moments did I lose with my kids because I was too tired… surgery isn’t for everyone, but if you’re unhappy with the size you are, DO SOMETHING… surgery for me was a joke it was so easy… I’m lucky and I understand that… but it could be you too. One year… seemed like an eternity one year ago, but now feels like it was just a day ago I started this journey. I will never allow myself to go back. Never.
It’s ok to hope. This is different.

[STLoser 1,099]

One of my favorite quotes too. One of the best movies ever!

Sent from my Nokia 7.2 using BariatricPal mobile app

[lizonaplane 1,613]

I'm feeling the same way about not sure I can imagine myself as a "normal" sized person. I've been obese since I was 14 (I'm 41 now). I have lost 100 lbs before, and 80 lbs another time, and 50 a few times, but I never could keep it off. None of those times was I "average" weight, I was still obese. So I have no idea what it would feel like to be average, and I'm not sure I'll ever get there, because the surgery center says the average weight loss would have me still in the obese category, and that's just depressing.

[vikingbeast 987]

37 minutes ago, lizonaplane said:

I'm feeling the same way about not sure I can imagine myself as a "normal" sized person. I've been obese since I was 14 (I'm 41 now). I have lost 100 lbs before, and 80 lbs another time, and 50 a few times, but I never could keep it off. None of those times was I "average" weight, I was still obese. So I have no idea what it would feel like to be average, and I'm not sure I'll ever get there, because the surgery center says the average weight loss would have me still in the obese category, and that's just depressing.

I could lose every gram of fat on my body and still be in the Obese category for BMI (yes, I know everyone says this, but I have receipts—and decades of powerlifting and strongman aren't going to suddenly disappear off my frame no matter what I do). It's strangely freeing, and allows me to use body fat percentage as a guide instead of the useless-to-me BMI. It was nice for the one moment where they needed my BMI to qualify me, but if I had 15% body fat I'd still technically qualify for surgery (35.8 BMI).

I'm expecting lose some lean body mass—can't go that low-calorie and not—but this is all about reducing comorbidities and allowing me to get to a spot where I'm not tripping weight limits on things all the time.

Today I imagined getting on an airplane and not having everyone scrunch their faces slightly ("please no please no please no please no oh thank god").

[MAMAM513 11]

I love this thread! I am anxious to see what life it like one year from now!

[lizonaplane 1,613]

17 minutes ago, vikingbeast said:

I could lose every gram of fat on my body and still be in the Obese category for BMI (yes, I know everyone says this, but I have receipts—and decades of powerlifting and strongman aren't going to suddenly disappear off my frame no matter what I do). It's strangely freeing, and allows me to use body fat percentage as a guide instead of the useless-to-me BMI. It was nice for the one moment where they needed my BMI to qualify me, but if I had 15% body fat I'd still technically qualify for surgery (35.8 BMI).

I'm expecting lose some lean body mass—can't go that low-calorie and not—but this is all about reducing comorbidities and allowing me to get to a spot where I'm not tripping weight limits on things all the time.

Today I imagined getting on an airplane and not having everyone scrunch their faces slightly ("please no please no please no please no oh thank god").

I still had a lot of fat on my body at 170. I don't enjoy weight lifting at all. I'm trying to get myself into it, but my surgery is in three weeks and then I'll be restricted for a bit. I am on planes all the time for work, and often I'm upgraded, but not always, and I'm often aware of how much space I take up. After losing the 45ish pounds I'm down in preparation for surgery, I at least don't need the seatbelt extender ever.

[njlimmer 344]

I feel this post so hard. I started my journey on 10/5/2020 so it's been almost a year for me. I was diagnosed as diabetic and that's what started it. I"m 47, and I was 311 lbs. Surgery was March 3, 2021 and I am down 111 lbs. I'm right at 200 lbs exactly and ONEderland is teasing me. I NEVER thought I could feel this way. The whole time I was going through the process, I kept thinking... I know it happens for others, but it just won't work for me. I have had an amazing year. Probably one of the best years I've had in decades. I got to ride roller coasters this summer with my girls. My wedding rings fit again. I've started running and I'm prepping for a 5K. I can go shopping in the "regular" side of the store. I BORROWED A SHIRT FROM MY TEENAGER!!! I feel so much better, but TBH, I still can't believe it.

It's a process, and it's a mental game just as much if not more than a physical one. Have patience, follow your plan, and work on YOU. You can do it!

[sierra.1834 13]

It really is exciting. A little scary, but exciting to know that things are going to be changing for the better. Today was the first day I went for a walk in shorts since high school and it felt so liberating. I never thought I would feel comfortable enough to do that again.

I imagine my success in the future is going to break through those barriers even further and I'll have even more "firsts" to accomplish. I look forward to my future and I hope you do to!

[blackcatsandbaddecisions 854]

I was so afraid it wouldn’t work for me, but it did. I was 160 lbs heavier last summer- miserable, sweating, embarrassed by how I looked, and not wanting to do anything. I’m only a few pounds away from a normal BMI now and I run every day, I have energy, and life is better in so many ways.

Both of my kids wanted to be carried down the hall the other week and I realized that together they are 80 lbs, half of what I’ve lost. The weight of them as I was trying to walk was huge- how the hell was I living my life with twice that weight?

For what it’s worth all the calculators said I only had a 20% chance of reaching 203 with the sleeve, and was more likely to end up 225-250. I am 180 lbs, almost 10 months out. I said once I got that tool I was going to use it. I have and I still am.

[vikingbeast 987]

Y'all are seriously getting me through the stress here. Thank you so much.