Hi!

I just got my surgery date today (Sept. 8!) and my mind is spinning with all kinds of things, everything from "can I afford vitamins forever?" to "what should I take to the hospital?" I even wrote a blog post about some of my fears, https://amiabutterfly.blogspot.com/2021/07/hey-yall.html trying to get them all out of me. What worries did you have, rational or irrational?

Also, I will be in the hospital Wednesday night and Thursday night, going home on Friday of that week. The hospital is a bit far away, and I'm wondering what's a reasonable amount for my husband to stick around the hospital for? It's not that I don't want him there! But I was thinking he could stay for the surgery, and seeing me up to my room on Wednesday, go home Wednesday night, and then come back for me Friday? I'm not sure there'd be anything for him to do on Thursday, other than hang out with me being half asleep. Did you need the support? Or were you fine on your own? We have a dog, and I don't want to leave the dog on her own, or at a kennel too long (she's old and I feel bad for her). So I was thinking we'd leave the dog at the kennel Tuesday into Wednesday and that would be the only time she had to sleep over if we did that.

Sorry for thinking out loud, I'm just wondering what's reasonable and what's too much of a stretch?

Thank you for your responses, and generally being lovely people with my last post.

I haven't had surgery yet, but I can tell you I have some fears too. Like, can I do this lifestyle change forever? Will I even lose weight? If I do lose weight, will I keep it off? Will I end up being sick all the time and in worse shape than I am now (and no longer able to travel!)?

I can't answer how much support you'll need, but my parents are flying up to the city where I live and will stay in a hotel. Only one person will be able to come to the hospital due to COVID, and it's likely I will only stay one night, so I just will have my mom come (in case I'm indecent in my hospital gown after surgery - too bad because my dad would be better at just sitting there as I'm dozing off). From what other people have said, mostly you're just sleeping in the hospital, although some people have more pain, and whether you want company when you're in pain is sort of a personal thing. I have been in the hospital by myself a few times (not usually overnight) and it wasn't terrible, but surgery is totally new to me.

I don't have any pets, but maybe you have a friend who could sit with your dog while you're in the hospital?

I didn't have many fears prior to surgery except the normal surgery fear of something going wrong. Where I messed up was joining facebook groups after surgery and reading all the horror stories of people. It caused so many anxiety attacks my first week until I had to leave all the groups.

My husband just stayed with me till they wheeled me into surgery and then went to work. Granted he was only 10 minutes away if I needed him but I did not. My surgery was first thing in the morning. I texted him when I woke up (the doctor has already called him right after my surgery anf told him everything went fine) but he replied that he would come see me after work. That was perfect because I was in and out sleeping before that. I know some spouses have to be there on the premises while their spouse has surgery and I understand that too, but we are just not like that. I felt what he did was perfect for us. He also visited me the next morning just to say hi because it’s on his way to work. I was supposed to Stay a second night but it turned out I was ready to leave shortly after he got Off work the second day. For me, I needed him the most right before surgery. I was very anxious and he helped calm me down quite a bit. After surgery when you are awake there are plenty of people to take care of you. I didn’t have a lot of pain after surgery, but I still slept a lot because they have you on pain meds already when you wake up from surgery and Mine were strong.

I had both realistic and irrational fears: what if I don't wake up from surgery, what if this is a mistake, will I ever be normal again. It's normal.

I couldn't have anyone in the hospital with me due to Covid. I was in the hospital one night. I was fine without anyone there. Having someone hover over me would have just gotten on my nerves. I texted and phoned when I felt like it.

My parents dropped me off and picked me up. My husband stayed home with the dog (ours is also old and cannot be kenneled so I get that)

Lizonaplane has a good point. Are you the sort of person that if you went to the ER or something not life threatening that you would still need your spouse with you? I am not. I would go by myself and text him with updates and if I needed him (again for us this is just a short drive). Now if it was him in the ER I would want to go with him because I am the one who worries and if I were home or anywhere else I couldn’t do anything else anyways because I would just be too worried. He is more rational knowing that if I am at hospital I am the safest I will ever be surrounded by the people I really need right then. I did put my friends on notice that I may text them a lot if I got board but I was too sleepy anyways.

Good post since I think we can all relate.

I'm a few weeks away and am also experiencing some of those feelings, both rational and irrational. I think my biggest fear is that although I have GERD with the sleeve, will I be jumping into the fire with a bypass which is a more serious procedure? Will that introduce more ongoing serious health issues? For example, will I have to remove my gallbladder as someone I know who had a bypass? What if I get a leak or sepsis or any of the other serious complications? Will I lose weight or will I fail?

My main worry is... In the end, will I regret the revision to bypass?

I have similar fears that have been expressed by others; complications during or after surgery, being successful in losing weight, being successful maintaining the weight loss & keeping up with protein water & vitamins.

My surgery is on the 26th, and my plan is to have my husband at the hospital with me before surgery, and during the surgery he will be in the waiting room or go get something to eat. Then hopefully, he will be there when I get up to my room just to help me settle in. I don't want him to be there all day, and that way he can get home to our little ones and dog. (My sister, parents, & nephew are helping with the kids & dog while I am in the hospital and the beginning of recovery [I won't be able to lift my daughter (20 months)]?) Then the plan is for him to return before discharge the next day.

Hopefully, hearing what other people did, or think they will do, helps you make a plan that you are comfortable with, so it is one less thing on your mind.??

Wishing you well with your surgery on the 8th!

My biggest irrational fear was that somehow - even after all that - I STILL wouldn't be able to lose weight.

P.S. I am losing weight

I did it alone & was fine. A friend dropped me off & picked me up. So you shouldn’t have any issue. I was in hospital for three nights & honestly, I spent a lot of time sleeping that first 24/48 hours. Got up to do my block around the ward then back to bed. Tried to read & watch Netflix but couldn’t concentrate & gave up after a few minutes. Had a couple of phone & txt conversations with friends & family,

My whole process was very quick. From GP appointment to surgeon appointment & surgery was 6 weeks. I was pretty comfortable about my decision but I’m someone who once they make up their mind that’s it. I did a lot of reading plus I had a friend who’d had the surgery & I picked her brain a bit before hand. My doctor was supportive. I liked my surgeon & he was confident which helped reaffirm my decision.

Edited July 17, 20215 yr by Arabesque

Great topic! I think we can all relate and have similar fears. For me -- will I lose weight? Can I do this forever? Can I keep up with the vitamin/supplement routine? What if I can't get enough water and protein in me? What about dumping? Will I ever be able to eat foods I love again? Will I be able to travel and enjoy food/wine?

My husband will be at the hospital during surgery. My son said he'd come and hang out with him...though honestly they'll both probably be sitting there looking at their phones. I think he'll stay till I'm in a room and settled. I'm assuming I'll sleep. The plan is only one overnight so he'll come back the next day to pick me up.

On 7/16/2021 at 5:33 PM, Gamma98 said:

I didn't have many fears prior to surgery except the normal surgery fear of something going wrong. Where I messed up was joining Facebook groups after surgery and reading all the horror stories of people. It caused so many anxiety attacks my first week until I had to leave all the groups.

The Facebook groups are HORRIBLE. Honestly, I don't feel like FB is the best place to go if you want to get true support in the WLS community. Though you can find lovely people in the groups, for the most part, FB is pretty much the gutter of the internet. I much prefer this forum and a couple of ladies I follow on IG.

On 7/17/2021 at 2:40 PM, AjaSlimtone said:

The Facebook groups are HORRIBLE. Honestly, I don't feel like FB is the best place to go if you want to get true support in the WLS community. Though you can find lovely people in the groups, for the most part, FB is pretty much the gutter of the internet. I much prefer this forum and a couple of ladies I follow on IG.

I whole heartedly agree. I was relieved when I found this forum. I would never suggest to anybody that they check out Facebook groups.

Hi all! All of your fears and questions are completely expected, but instead of what if I can’t, start asking yourself what if I can! You can do it all and really what choice do you have? I told me self I can save my life now or fight for it later!
I had my sleeve done 6/5. The hardest part is choosing to put yourself first and just do what you gotta do each day!
My husband took me to surgery and was not allowed to come back until pick up the following day due to covid rules. I was just fine in my own. Since I didn’t have anyone to sit and chat with I walked a lot and just focused on learning all I needed. It’s really alot to think about and learn but it just all sort of falls into place.
You all got this and will soon be into new adventures!

My biggest fear was dying during surgery, but I'm a worrier and I worry about that every time I have surgery. I was mostly afraid I would do this drastic thing then not lose weight. I'm happy to say I was worried for no reason!
I had my surgery last July, and was only allowed one visitor.. I was so nauseated and tired the first few days I barely knew he was there, and made him go home. I stayed 4 nights because of the vomiting. Once I got home, I was fine and didn't really need any help. My husband works from home since COVID started, but he works in our basement and I didn't need him upstairs with me. I never had a lot of pain or difficulty getting around. As long as things go smoothly I think you will be fine without a nurse.

I am three months out from gastric bypass (April 14). I had no problems drinking water right afterwards, nor was there any throwing up. The hospital supplies the meals so no broth is necessary to bring there. I was able to walk and use the bathroom within the day. I stayed one night.

The first week at home is a little rough as you simply don't realize how much you use your abdominal muscles for just sitting up or down. I slept a lot the first few days. I tried my best to not use very much of the pain meds as sadly, addiction can occur even with less strong ones. I didn't pick up any grandchildren for about two-three weeks. But overall, I feel really good. I began exercising where I could (beginning in May) so for the first month and a half I just made it a point to walk for 15 minutes every day. The next month (June) I upped it to one mile. I used the 99 Walks app which for some reason I find quite motivating. For July I went for a mile and a half and I hit my goal a few days ago. For August I'm planning to walk 1 1/2 miles every day for a total of 46.5 miles. Then in September I'm going for 2 miles per day. In addition to the walking, I;m going to a YMCA class two days a week. It has been so very long since I worked out at all that my muscles are very weak so as I stated, I started where I could and be successful.

I have learned that this surgery is truly not a sprint but a marathon. It comes with a steep learning curve. But I'm very grateful that now I don't just tell my body I'm going on a diet (and quit a few weeks or days in). With the surgery, now my body tells me "You've eaten enough now" or "Want to find out who is boss now? Swallow something high sugar and I'll quickly let you know exactly how I feel about that! Remember your days of 'toilet hugging drunk'? I can show you what 'toilet hugging intestine problems' too!" I'm currently 60 pounds down and I feel so much better! The doctor took me off insulin (think four shots a day) the following morning as well as Atorvastatin. As my weight comes down, I'm planning to get off high blood pressure medications too. It's a little weird, but very worth it all!