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What if it just...doesn’t work?



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My bariatric team neither encouraged nor discouraged my goal of reaching a healthy BMI. My surgeon gave me the statistics and then said that those were just averages, that some people lose more and some less. He did say he'd be happy if I lost 50% of my excess weight and we'd see what happened. And I'm glad because if he had been more discouraging, I might not have believed a healthy BMI was possible for me. He didn't set me up with unrealistic expectations but he also didn't squash my enthusiasm. And in the end I did end up losing much more than average. I know getting there is only half the journey, I'm right now trying to learn how to maintain it. But I'm not sorry I set a healthy BMI as my goal. If I had set my goal to losing 50% of my excess weight, I might have stopped there because an authority figure said that was all I would lose.

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My surgeon said if I lost 60 lbs within a year, he would consider me a success. Anything over that was just gravy.

I wanted lots of gravy.

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18 minutes ago, icandothis_gastricsleeve020221 said:

My doctor said I'd lose about 50% of my weight in my first year, but he has more weight loss in mind. He wants me to lose about 55-60% of my weight. 50-60% does put me in a healthy BMI range.

18 minutes ago, icandothis_gastricsleeve020221 said:

My doctor said I'd lose about 50% of my weight in my first year, but he has more weight loss in mind. He wants me to lose about 55-60% of my weight. 50-60% does put me in a healthy BMI range.

not sure about your doctor, but those stats usually refer to excess weight rather than total weight (so if you're 250 lbs total and 100 lbs overweight, that would mean a 60 lb loss, leaving you at 190 lbs). Although I'm not sure if your particular doctor is referring to excess or total weight. Those stats you read in research studies, though (e.g., a 70% average loss for RNY and 65% average loss for VSG) are referring to excess weight rather than total.

UPDATED to add - of course, those are just averages. You'll find plenty of people who fall on either side of that percentage.

Edited by catwoman7

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On 2/27/2021 at 9:09 AM, catwoman7 said:

my dietitian (and surgeon, too) told me specifically NOT to make normal BMI my goal,

I have been told that people in the slightly higher BMI bracket (27-29 range) statistically live longer (I never bothered to find research journals on this because it was music to my BMI 28 ears)

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On 2/27/2021 at 8:05 AM, catwoman7 said:

I wonder about that when I read posts from people who are a ways out (like a year or more) and still eating something like 800 kcal a day and training for marathons - or otherwise exercising compulsively. Are they really going to be able to keep this up long term? And what happens when they settle into a more "normal" life?

I agree ☝

Edited by GreenTealael

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50 minutes ago, GreenTealael said:

I have been told that people in the slightly higher BMI bracket (27-29 range) statistically live longer (I never bothered to find research journals on this because it was music to my BMI 28 ears)

I've also heard that older adults who are slightly overweight tend to have the lowest morbidity rate. My last two PCPs have liked their "older adults" (which I guess would be me...) in the 23-27 BMI range.

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For me the so called hunger hormone doesnt didnt go away!!! Ever , ever ever! I feel starving all the time. Im an emotional eatter and what helps is u cant eat much so biting in to a cheeseburger to soon u will throw it up and not crave it awhile!!! Some peopls have said it went away for them but for me it didnt and im angry about it.!! Now i have to eat what feels like is a million small meals which means im snacking all the time and usually on bad slider food. Do the surgery for ur life not to get ride of wanting food!! dont give in to ur cravings u do and for me i doomed myself found out it was hard to eat 3 bites of chicken but easy to eat a whole 1lb bag of potatoe chips!! Evil yummy food. Doo ur self a favor and tell ur self u wont look at food the same. Look at food to live not to be satisfied!!!! Best of luck

Edited by BlueAngelEyes

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On 2/27/2021 at 7:15 PM, catwoman7 said:

it's the infamous three-week stall - it just came early for you. Mine was weeks 2 & 3. Almost everyone goes through that early stall. Just stick to your program and it'll eventually break. It always does!

You are correct! I’ve started moving on the scale again but not checking everyday (which is a bad habit)!

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On 02/28/2021 at 01:31, summerset said:






I never really looked into this but is there correlation between lower starting weights and higher starting weights maybe?




Like someone with a starting BMI of maybe 37 having a bigger chance of getting down to e. g. BMI 23 than someone who started with a BMI of 53?


I’ve wondered this as well.
I started off with a BMI of exactly 41% and was able to (and still currently maintain) a BMI of 20-21%.
I lost well over 100% of my excess fat, which my bari surgeon admitted is outside his “typical” results, but he also admitted he was fairly confident going in that I would achieve it based off of my history, psych evaluation, and our personal interviews.

That being said, he and his team always point-blank refused to set a goal weight or BMI in front of me and I know that many clinics don’t
Mostly I think that’s because we need to shoot for our own goals and limits— not the limits that someone else thinks we can or cannot do.

I was so paranoid that I was going to be a spectacular failure at WLS, but ended up being a pretty spectacular success.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
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      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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