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husband thinks Im making him fat



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Hi, there Im 5 months post surgery, Im down 90 pounds or so. and this weekend my husband lovingly told me he thinks I'm trying to make him fat. I am obsessed with watching others enjoy food. I just want to smell the food. and watch them eat it. I take my kids to mcdonalds to smell the french fries. Any one else obsess about watching others are eating, or do loads of cooking for your can see the joy in peoples faces when they eat. I know this a is a destructive habit. Any wisdom, thanks

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21 minutes ago, Holodisplay said:

Hi, there Im 5 months post surgery, Im down 90 pounds or so. and this weekend my husband lovingly told me he thinks I'm trying to make him fat. I am obsessed with watching others enjoy food. I just want to smell the food. and watch them eat it. I take my kids to mcdonalds to smell the french fries. Any one else obsess about watching others are eating, or do loads of cooking for your can see the joy in peoples faces when they eat. I know this a is a destructive habit. Any wisdom, thanks

OMG...ME!!!

I love EVERYTHING about food...cooking it, researching it, plating it, looking at pics of it, shopping for it, watching people eat it, asking people if they like it, smelling it, reading menus of it, taking pics of it....and to a much, much, lesser degree, actually eating it. I find the anticipation of it is much more pleasing to me than the eating.

I dunno though if this is destructive behaviour...bingeing on food or starving oneself (among other things) would be the destructive part, i think. Ain't nothing wrong with appreciating a good thing!

....of course I could be wrong and this food fetish may in fact cause me some real harm one day...but so far so good (and i've been food fetishing since a couple months post surgery, over 2 years ago).

Edited by ms.sss

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Kind of. I occasionally bring home something that I personally can't eat (like maybe some new kind of Cookies that catch my eye), and I give them to my husband to eat. I live vicariously through him sometimes when it comes to things like baked goods.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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