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How was your first time eating out with friends?



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My friends have been very supportive through my WLS and I have no problem with going out to eat with them when the time comes. Was it very strange going out to eat and watch your friends eat the regular way the always did or did they cater to the way that you needed to eat and ate small meals? Were you self conscious or did they seem different? Right now it just seems like it going to feel rather strange to go out and eat for the first time....Tell me about your first time eating out after your WLS.....

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None of my friends know that I've had WLS, but eating out with them has been fine. Granted, b/c of COVID, we've only gone out a few times, but I just order what I want and nobody bats an eye. They have all noticed my weight loss, so it's probably not weird for them to see me eating healthy, smaller portions.

My very first time eating out after surgery was 3 months out, and it was a business dinner with my husband's boss. I felt more self conscious then, but again nobody noticed a thing. It was an Italian restaurants, so I ordered shrimp over Pasta and just ate a few shrimp. As I got full, I just hid the rest of the shrimp under the pasta! They were huge portions so nobody cleaned their plate.

Since your friends know about your WLS, it should be even easier to just order what you want, eat what you want, and grab a to go box to take the rest home!

Edited by ChubRub

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24 minutes ago, ChubRub said:

None of my friends know that I've had WLS, but eating out with them has been fine. Granted, b/c of COVID, we've only gone out a few times, but I just order what I want and nobody bats an eye. They have all noticed my weight loss, so it's probably not weird for them to see me eating healthy, smaller portions.

My very first time eating out after surgery was 3 months out, and it was a business dinner with my husband's boss. I felt more self conscious then, but again nobody noticed a thing. It was an Italian restaurants, so I ordered shrimp over Pasta and just ate a few shrimp. As I got full, I just hid the rest of the shrimp under the pasta! They were huge portions so nobody cleaned their plate.

Since your friends know about your WLS, it should be even easier to just order what you want, eat what you want, and grab a to go box to take the rest home!

Thanks it will be great!!

Edited by OnMyWay1956
mis read post

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I don't eat out with friends or work colleagues.

Work colleagues I didn't eat out with before. For 40 years, it was my job to come into a company, tell them what they were doing wrong, tell them how to do it right, create the processes to do it right, then move on. I was not there to eat meals. Now, I may have developed these rules because I was so large, but the rules still stand now that I'm not. I've stopped consulting, but I still don't do the company functions.

When I was first exploring eating out a few months post-op, I would get anxious which made eating not work out so well. As time moved on, it was still a problem for me. So, while I have gotten better at it, I am still so worried that it's hard to enjoy the experience. So, I avoid it if I can. Family doesn't care, they understand. Outside of family doesn't really matter.

At this point, every one is used to me the way I am now.

I think this is all rationalization for not wanting to share wife time with anyone else. She feels the same about husband time.

Tek

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1 hour ago, OnMyWay1956 said:

OMGosh there is only 1" different between our starting weight and my final goal is right in line with you....I hope I can be where you are one year from now. Congrats!!!

You will be there!!! If I can do it, anyone can!! Can't wait to follow your progress!

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I often order sides instead of full meals. I might order a house salad and a side of black Beans, for example. Usually, everyone else is so preoccupied with their own food that they really don't even notice what other people are eating or not eating. If I do order a meal, at least half of it goes home with me. Other than my immediate family, no one else knows about my surgery. My friends and coworkers just think I know how to eat healthy and that is also why I am thinner than the rest of them. :)

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I couldn't really go out the first month or so post-op because it was really hard to find anything on menus that "worked" for me. After that, I'd get things like a shrimp cocktail and eat three or four shrimp. I don't think people really noticed. I did go to an Indian place once and got this pureed spinach dish that was marvelous, but I could only eat like 1/4 C of it. The staff was freaked out, thinking I didn't like the meal. I kept reassuring them that I was fine - and it was delicious - I think I told them I had an ulcer or something so I couldn't eat very much, but I'd love to take it home - but they kept going on and on, saying they'd bring me something else - and I think they also sent me home with a dessert. That was....awkward. So be prepared for something like that - although it may not happen, depending on where you go. I'd also order things like Soup or chili.

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15 minutes ago, catwoman7 said:

I couldn't really go out the first month or so post-op because it was really hard to find anything on menus that "worked" for me. After that, I'd get things like a shrimp cocktail and eat three or four shrimp. I don't think people really noticed. I did go to an Indian place once and got this pureed spinach dish that was marvelous, but I could only eat like 1/4 C of it. The staff was freaked out, thinking I didn't like the meal. I kept reassuring them that I was fine - and it was delicious - I think I told them I had an ulcer or something so I couldn't eat very much, but I'd love to take it home - but they kept going on and on, saying they'd bring me something else - and I think they also sent me home with a dessert. That was....awkward. So be prepared for something like that - although it may not happen, depending on where you go. I'd also order things like Soup or chili.

I imagine what they're thinking when a person as far overweight as me would eat 3oz of Protein, if I ate at all, leaving the plate barely touched. They were horrified.

It's about the time I started terribly over-tipping. I wanted them to really believe that we enjoyed ourselves, even if I only ate a couple bites of that perfectly cooked prime rib. Another reason eating out was a tense time that I generally gave up on.

Edited by The Greater Fool

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Eating out can be challenging. I always check the menu before I go so I can work out what I can eat. If there’s nothing suitable I’ll go elsewhere. I only order an entree (American appetiser) & usually choose seafood. Managing wait staff who are concerned about you not eating the whole meal can be difficult especially if you are wanting to be under the radar. If I’m with people who don’t know about my surgery, I’ll speak with wait staff away from the table - saying I’m on a medically restricted diet works well. Also watch the drinking before your meal - so easy to slip into the pre dinner drink habit & then you struggle to eat.

Yesterday I had lunch with an old friend. Couldn’t check the menu online but I’d been to the restaurant many times so thought I’d be fine. But because of covid they were doing a limited menu. There was only one dish I could eat - a $40 main course fish dish. I ate about 2/3 of the piece of fish & an asparagus spear. It was delicious but such a waste of food & a lot to pay for the small amount I ate. Sigh.

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6 hours ago, OnMyWay1956 said:

My friends have been very supportive through my WLS and I have no problem with going out to eat with them when the time comes. Was it very strange going out to eat and watch your friends eat the regular way the always did or did they cater to the way that you needed to eat and ate small meals? Were you self conscious or did they seem different? Right now it just seems like it going to feel rather strange to go out and eat for the first time....Tell me about your first time eating out after your WLS.....

It has been easier than I expected.

Extremely early on I would order just liquids & full liquids (soup, Water, tea, ice tea, coffee, yogurt, etc.)

Later into my journey I ordered normal menu items but healthier (unless burgers, salads, protein/veg only combo, etc) but there would always be a lot of leftovers. Sometimes I simply order 2 sides or off the kids menu.

Now I order normal portion sizes of the healthiest things I can find on menu and share with whoever I am with, always asking they choose something we both like. Often I will just get the dessert while the other person gets the entree and have a bit of both.

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1 hour ago, Arabesque said:

Eating out can be challenging. I always check the menu before I go so I can work out what I can eat. If there’s nothing suitable I’ll go elsewhere. I only order an entree (American appetiser) & usually choose seafood. Managing wait staff who are concerned about you not eating the whole meal can be difficult especially if you are wanting to be under the radar. If I’m with people who don’t know about my surgery, I’ll speak with wait staff away from the table - saying I’m on a medically restricted diet works well. Also watch the drinking before your meal - so easy to slip into the pre dinner drink habit & then you struggle to eat.

Yesterday I had lunch with an old friend. Couldn’t check the menu online but I’d been to the restaurant many times so thought I’d be fine. But because of covid they were doing a limited menu. There was only one dish I could eat - a $40 main course fish dish. I ate about 2/3 of the piece of fish & an asparagus spear. It was delicious but such a waste of food & a lot to pay for the small amount I ate. Sigh.

I also check the menu ahead of time if it is a new place. I have found that ordering sides makes it easy. I am a gluten free vegan, so it is challenging to find item without dairy or wheat. But like the other day in a Mexican restaurant, I just ordered a side of whole Beans, some rice, guacamole, and corn tortillas, so I built my own burritos.

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I travel a lot for work and will say that it's been challenging. As I've said before, I've been very open with my friends and co-workers about the surgery, so that part hasn't been an issue at all. Mostly I've struggled with making the right choices and eating the right amounts. I'm one of the "lucky" ones who has been able to tolerate just about any food so I have to make an effort to chose what I'm supposed to... I mean .. Comon... If you could have a chimichanga or something else... It's HARD not to pick the Chimichanga!! (PS, I didn't!)

Like other have said, it's great to look at the menu ahead of time and make a decision before you go. Also, don't be afraid to leave food on the plate - It's not worth being miserable later (trust me on that one!)

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My first meals out were with my family at about 6 weeks, so that made it easier...and a relief to know I could go out and eat something I enjoyed and not overeat. Once I had a salmon salad and had abut half of the salmon and no salad...maybe a bit of Tomato too. I also ate a sashimi appetizer at a sushi restaurant and a half of a seared ahi appetizer at a seafood restaurant, plus two raw oysters.

I need to work on slowing down...both because I have ALWAYS eaten far faster than any of my dining companions (except my boss...who may have influenced my eating style), and slowing down would have us finishing about the same time and because they advise you to eat SLOWLY on after surgery so you can give your tummy a chance to tell your brain that you are full!

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