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Back and Forth, Very Nervous



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Hello everyone,

I am really nervous and keep going back and forth about the surgery. I'm getting varying advice from people around me. I can't decide what to do, to move forward with the surgery or cancel? Any tips or suggestions?

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First thing - you may want to change your user name - having your email address as a user name will likely result in a lot more spam due to the email bot finders.

So to the advice from people around you - I am assuming they are not medical or health specialists? They may be well meaning and while some family members may be concerned about possible medical complications are more likely to be concerned about the change in the status quo.

You are likely to lose the weight that is required for health and maintain that loss long term? If so, you may not need the surgery. But if like most of us, you can lose some weight (not likely all that was needed) and are not able to maintain that weight loss beyond the short term, you will greatly benefit from weight loss surgery.

Your medical team believes you are a good fit for the surgery and believes there is a need for it, you had reasons for looking at weight loss surgery - are those still valid?

If you don't do the surgery where will you be a year from now? More weight gain - more medical issues?

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That's exactly why I told no one before I had the surgery. I made my own decision with no one else giving me their opinion! My brother is the only family member that lives close and a few days before I had surgery I told him, after he agreed to give me a ride to the hospital! He was very supportive. Do your research, make the decision you feel is right for you and disregard opinions of people that have no voice in your decision! By the way, I checked into surgery about 3 yrs prior and after going to the seminar decided at that time I wasn't ready. Three yrs later I was more than ready! One of my best decisions ever! Good luck with whatever you decide!

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Thank you! I updated my username. The people in my family are not in the medical field but I am also getting mixed advice from health professionals that I trust. I am no longer worried about gaining weight and I feel comfortable maintaining right now, with a BMI of around 37 (which is still too high). I think I can lose weight very slowly and with a lot of effort but I think to be able to do it in a stable way it will take me years. Also, I don't know if I would gain much back. I don't think I would ever get heavier than this point but I don't know if I can eat as little and exercise as much as it would take to maintain a BMI of 25 or below. I think if I didn't do the surgery, 1 year from now, I would probably be about the same, maybe 0-10 lbs lighter. I just feel like I'm wasting my 20s obese and want to move on and enjoy my life ASAP. Thank you both for the support.

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4 hours ago, andyp93 said:

Thank you! I updated my username. The people in my family are not in the medical field but I am also getting mixed advice from health professionals that I trust. I am no longer worried about gaining weight and I feel comfortable maintaining right now, with a BMI of around 37 (which is still too high). I think I can lose weight very slowly and with a lot of effort but I think to be able to do it in a stable way it will take me years. Also, I don't know if I would gain much back. I don't think I would ever get heavier than this point but I don't know if I can eat as little and exercise as much as it would take to maintain a BMI of 25 or below. I think if I didn't do the surgery, 1 year from now, I would probably be about the same, maybe 0-10 lbs lighter. I just feel like I'm wasting my 20s obese and want to move on and enjoy my life ASAP. Thank you both for the support.

This all sounds logical & If you've begun the process, more than likely you are seriously *thinking* about going through with it.

No one else has to live in your body so as always, the choice is yours alone, but I personally would only take bariatric surgery advice from a Bariatric Surgeon (same for Neuro, Cardiology or any specialization)

I bet anyone would be hard pressed to find family & friends telling them to continue to walk on a broken ankle, struggle to see without glasses or leave a dangerous bacterial infection to run it's natural course because that's what nature intended. In fact in our times modern medicine and technology, it's commonly understood that intervention is often necessary to live an optimal life. Do whatever gives you that option.

Good Luck ♥️

Side Bar: I personally believe the stigma, fear and disapproval surrounding bariatrics can be born from the perception that an obese person has fallen to the vices of greed, gluttony and sloth. These semi subconscious ideologies are deeply rooted in our Westernized society as seen in the parabolic work of Dante Alighieri or philosophical writings of Thomas Aquinas.

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On 9/6/2020 at 12:59 AM, andyp93 said:

Thank you! I updated my username. The people in my family are not in the medical field but I am also getting mixed advice from health professionals that I trust. I am no longer worried about gaining weight and I feel comfortable maintaining right now, with a BMI of around 37 (which is still too high). I think I can lose weight very slowly and with a lot of effort but I think to be able to do it in a stable way it will take me years. Also, I don't know if I would gain much back. I don't think I would ever get heavier than this point but I don't know if I can eat as little and exercise as much as it would take to maintain a BMI of 25 or below. I think if I didn't do the surgery, 1 year from now, I would probably be about the same, maybe 0-10 lbs lighter. I just feel like I'm wasting my 20s obese and want to move on and enjoy my life ASAP. Thank you both for the support.

Thats very interesting all the specialists i saw recommended surgery to me but i had a higher bmi and comorbities. The surgery has the possibility of death and so if you dont really have any pertinent comorbities some professionals dont think it should be used yet. Some also want a bmi above 40. You basicAlly have to decide if what u got going on from being fat is worth risking death to try to fix. You are the one that has to live with the decision so noone cAn make it for you. If nows not the right time ,and some of us waited , you might decide in the future above forty bmi w more comorbity to do so. Good luck with your decision 👍🏼

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I actually appreciate getting opposing views and opinions from folks. Generally, my OCD causes me to think (repeatedly) through all the possibilities I can imagine, after which point I make a choice. If someone, anyone, brings up a new view that makes me unsure, then there must be something there. I then discuss, beat it to death, then rethink everything repeatedly, then make a choice... again.

So, if you can be made unsure, think everything through and choose. Then, if you hear the same argument again, you can dismiss it out of hand because you've already put the thought in and don't need to do it again.

If you honestly believe you can lose weight without surgery then you are correct to pause. Rearranging your insides is a drastic move, particularly if you don't believe you need it. I believed I could lose it without surgery for 20 years. I was stupendously wrong. Drastic was all that was left.

Losing weight without surgery is hard. Losing weight with surgery is hard differently.

Good luck, make the right choice for you.

Tek

Edited by The Greater Fool

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Hello everyone,
I am really nervous and keep going back and forth about the surgery. I'm getting varying advice from people around me. I can't decide what to do, to move forward with the surgery or cancel? Any tips or suggestions?

I was the same way. Especially since my surgery got canceled 3 times due to COVID. I started to think that maybe it meant I shouldn't do it. Everyone I asked who had already had the surgery was so glad they did it so I decided to push through. Today is day 7 post surgery and it hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be. But it is definitely a commitment.

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Every time I got pregnant, I gained 60 and lost 30 lbs after the baby was born. Each time I thought I couldn't weigh any more than this. BMI was about 30. Then perimenopause hit. I crept up about 1-5 lbs per month. 5 years ago I was at BMI 33. Then I got a divorce, laid off, one of my kids was in and out of the hospital, and full menopause - BMI 42. Is my life going to get easier? Maybe. But I need help. Even if I could lose 10 lbs a year steadily like that I would be dead before I could even get back down to BMI 30 from one of my comorbidities.

I wanted to get a sleeve gastrectomy done when I was at BMI 33 but my insurance wouldn't cover it and I couldn't afford it. I went to a few dieticians and I couldn't lose an ounce. I wished that I would have changed employers right then and there so I could have gotten one and my life would be much different now and I wouldn't be wearing 3x and 4x clothes. This blob of a body does not feel like me, it feels like an alien has grown around me.

So that's a bunch of personal stuff and your life is hopefully going to be much happier than mine was but, if I were you, while your insurance covers it, I would do it. Find a reputable surgeon in a center of excellence so that you have a very low chance of something awful happening, who will have great dieticians to help you along your journey, and do it. Don't cry in your Protein Shakes like I am.

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5 hours ago, mandiland said:

I was the same way. Especially since my surgery got canceled 3 times due to COVID. I started to think that maybe it meant I shouldn't do it. Everyone I asked who had already had the surgery was so glad they did it so I decided to push through. Today is day 7 post surgery and it hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be. But it is definitely a commitment.

Congratulations and welcome.

Tek

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Hello everyone,
I am really nervous and keep going back and forth about the surgery. I'm getting varying advice from people around me. I can't decide what to do, to move forward with the surgery or cancel? Any tips or suggestions?

Hello
If i were you, do your own research first and foremost. Listen and watch you tube procedures. Reflect on the yo yo weight loss Challenges. Lastly stop letting people in your ear. Do what you feel is best for you. I did not tell anyone until the date of my procedure, why? Because people have to much to say and i did not want to hear it. You are the driver in your journey.

I hope this advice helps
Missy

Sent from my SM-G960U1 using BariatricPal mobile app

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