First time feeling some buyers remorse

[WhatATool:-) 15]

I’m 4 weeks post op and today was the first time I really felt bad for myself about not being able to have something I wanted. I had a party for one of my best friends yesterday because it was his last day at our job, and I made some of his favorites. BBQ ribs, banana pudding. During the party itself I was okay really, I just enjoyed my friends and didn’t focus too much on food.

Today stunk though. I had almost a full rack of ribs leftover in the fridge, and decided I would have just 2 ribs for dinner. But it obviously didn’t sit that well and I abandoned my plan feeling sorry for myself, thinking “why can’t I just eat like a normal person? Why does it have to be one extreme or the other?”

I know I made this choice for a reason. I chose to live with a restriction for the rest of my life rather than feeling trapped in an unhealthy body for the rest of my life. And most of the time I’m just fine with that. Today was an exception rather than the rule. Does that get better with time? Like if 6 months down the road I want 2 ribs, I’ll actually be able to eat them? Or is it time to just start gettin used to my new normal?

[MelissaTEXAS 2]

I’m new here, still doing post-op liquids 😭

but my mom has had this surgery 20yrs ago and she can pretty much eat anything she wants to, actually for 15+ years she has been able to eat everything. Too much of anything is still bad for her, but she knows her limits.
I just write to give you hope. You will one day be able to eat a little bit of anything on the planet ❤️

[Heather13 16]

I'm super interested to see how others reply to your post. And I appreciate how honest it is. I'm three months out, and I'm at the point where I can pretty much eat anything. Certain I'm not supposed to, but everything feels tolerable to me. The problem is now that I can eat anything I've really slipped back into some of my bad habits. I'm a big stress eater and I've had a lot of stress the past couple of weeks. That's when I really find myself eating mindlessly, late at night, and just feeling so sick. It takes a lot less "bad" food to make me feel ill now, but I'm frustrated with myself that I'm even doing this kind of thing again. So, I guess my feeling would be that getting used to a new normal is the better choice. And somehow finding a way to be really happy with the new normal. I've lost about 40 lbs and that has made me extremely happy. But not using food as a coping skill is not something I've learned yet. Oh, and lastly, you will definitely be able to eat two ribs in the not too distant future. I think that is really when I'm feeling on top of things. When I have a small portion of something delicious and it satisfies me, and doesn't make me sick, and I don't throw the whole day away because of it.

[catwoman7 10,981]

five years out here. I can eat anything except for really fatty meals. For example, before I had surgery, my husband and I loved to go out for Friday night fish fries. Two or three fish filets, battered or breaded and deep-fried, topped with tartar sauce, with a side of fries and a side of cole slaw made with mayo. That would be a no-go for me now. I'd be in the bathroom getting sick after eating that. I could maybe eat half of a deep-fried fish filet. Anything else I ate with it would have to be non-fatty.

but pretty much anything else - yes. Just less of it. I used to be able to eat half a large pizza in one sitting. Now I can eat one or two pieces.

but when you think about it - that's the way normal-sized women usually eat (unless they're exercise fiends or were blessed with great metabolism). A few weeks before surgery, I watched what my female co-workers ate for lunch. There were a couple who ate what at the time I would have called a normal lunch. A sandwich, chips, maybe a cookie. Or maybe take-out from a deli or a fast food place. But a majority of them ate things like a sandwich and an apple. Or a sandwich and some baby carrots. Or a thing of yogurt and bagel. Honestly, I think that's just normal in the non-obese world. Unfortunately, I might add... But that's the way I usually eat now, too.

I started counting calories when I was about a year out. I still do. As long as I stay at or under 1700 calories most days of the week, I can maintain my weight. I do occasionally go over that - and sometimes by a lot (like on special occasions), but I try to keep that to only special occasions. Most days, I do stay within my range. That calorie range will vary for everyone depending on a lot of factors. But anyway, to address your first concern, yes - I could work ribs into my daily plan and still stay within my range...

[colormehappy 124]

I’m not much further out than you, only 3 months. But I can tolerate most things at this point. This may be an unpopular opinion, but I underwent surgery to improve my health but not to never enjoy foods I love again.

I think it really comes down to WHY you’re eating. Is it emotional? Are you filling a void with food? I split a cookie with my toddler yesterday and didn’t feel bad about it. I tracked the calories and they fit into my macros. I also exercise almost every day of the week. I sometimes take a bite of my husband’s burger and then eat my salad. I personally think there’s a balance, but I’m also not a veteran yet.

[Arabesque 6,683]

Once you get to your goal weight I think you can explore eating most things within reason. The key is balance.

I looked at my weight loss period as a time to re-examine what & how I ate & to break habits & cravings. Once I reached maintenance I added more things to my diet to work out how I could maintain my weight while still living & enjoying my life. There are foods I avoid but others I limit or reduce how much I consume.

Yes, there are times when I see others eating certain foods & I think that would be really nice to have but I’ve found that ‘missing out’ feeling has decreased. Likely because the desire to keep the weight off is stronger now. The other weekend I had friends over for drinks & supper. We shared the catering & I made sure no food was left behind in my fridge. I neither wanted the temptation nor to waste food I don’t eat anymore. When I have to ‘bring a plate’ now I bring something I can eat so I don’t have to worry about what to do with leftovers.

I’m 15.5 months out & still very much a toddler on this journey compared to others. I know I’m still learning & think I always will.

Good luck on your journey.

[Lily66 425]

I’m nearly 6 months out and cooked (refrigerator prepared) pulled pork from Aldi for hubs last night, along with hush puppies, fries and onion rings in the air fryer (he’s tall & thin). I tried a bite of the pork while cooking to test flavor and it did not sit well. It had great flavor and he loved it but my tastes and desires have changed Big Time. There was no desire what so ever to try the sides I had prepared for him.

At 3 months post WLS I was like you, my head and memory wanted to enjoy it and I felt a bit left out watching others. Now? I feel a knot at the back of my throat saying “I no longer like how that makes me feel”.

So I live vicariously through his ooohs, ahhhs, yums and crunching, and instead of lusting after his food, I smile, ‘grateful for this gift of a new me’ and the memory is all I need. I’m serious, I no longer feel deprived of sugary fatty foods, I simply do not want them.

Edited September 2, 2020 by Lily66

[kellym1220 472]

I'm only a month out...and have also discovered a change in my tastes (although I would have definitely had a bite of the ribs...with something healthy that was on my food plan). I would try to come up with something like pulled chicken breast/thighs with sugar free barbecue sauce to satisfy my cravings.

I have been trying to find healthy substitutions for things I love...I have never enjoyed sashimi (my saying was "without rice, it's just raw fish") but now I love it! And it's so much healthier for me.

I also love Mexican food, so I made shredded chicken with SF taco seasoning in my Instant Pot and ate 2 oz of that with 2 oz of fat free refried Beans with 1T each of shredded cheese, salsa and sour cream. I logged it and it had 168 calories and 18 grams of Protein. I'll be honest, I couldn't eat it all...but I'm just starting real foods.

I read almost all of the Topic "Food Before and After Photos" which gave me great ideas on food I could still enjoy, albeit in smaller portions!

This is an opportunity to try new things and see what you like...focus on protein and healthy substitutions. Good luck on your journey!!