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Hi everyone!

I had my sleeve 6 weeks ago and have lost 17kg... i'm currently in a stall but that's another matter, it'll fix itself i'm sure :)

I was just wondering if anyone here has someone they're close too who has been unsupportive of their WLS? What did you do about it? Have you lost any friends?

I have a friend who has had nothing positive to say about the surgery at all, just talks about how i will never be able to eat anything and i'll be vomiting all the time after my 2 teaspoons (which is completely untrue).

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Surprisingly, my youngest sister was unsupportive. I stopped talking to her about the WLS. She didn't even know the date of my surgery. I figured, this was one decision about my life she did not agree with and I am totally okay with her opinion; because it's just that, an opinion. Now, if your friend is constantly making negative comments about your surgery, you might have to reevaluate if she is a genuine friend. No real friend wants you to fail.

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Pre-WLS I had ZERO support. None. Not one person. Sisters, mother, friends, loved ones -- everyone did NOT want me to get it. My brother was okay about it, but not what I would call supportive.

I got lectured. My mom told me she did NOT want to hear about it - if I was going to do it ...and she told me NOT tell her about it. I had to have my brother tell her when I finally did it, then she waited an entire day before calling me. ( I have a great mother.. I would not trade her for the world. She was just very worried about me having surgery, so I understand her reaction... she's my MOM.)

I was so lonely and sad.

I finally told everyone via email that if they did not want to be supportive, then let's not talk about it, because I had decided it is what I wanted to do... and what I was going to do. And there was no changing my mind.

Since the surgery -- everyone has been nice about it. Not one negative comment.

If I were you - I would put my foot down with your friend and tell her that you need support at this time as you are still healing and adjusting... and for your own mental health, happiness and success - you only want to hear positive things.. and if that is not possible, then she should not discuss with you.

If that doesn't work - I would take a "break" from the friendship. You are going through so much already and don't need that negativity in your life!

PS~ I am 5 1/2 weeks out (will be 6 weeks on Thursday), so we're very close in the healing process! Congratulations!!

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I am 6 weeks on thursday too! We're sleeve twins :)

Thank you, I thought this might be the case. It just surprised me since everyone else who knew i was having it done was really supportive, even my brothers who have never said a kind word to me :) :)

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36 minutes ago, Sassafras1 said:

I am 6 weeks on thursday too! We're sleeve twins :)

Thank you, I thought this might be the case. It just surprised me since everyone else who knew i was having it done was really supportive, even my brothers who have never said a kind word to me :) :)

Oh yay!! So glad I met someone who had it done on the same day! Sorry that your brothers haven't been kind to you. 🙁

I stalled for almost 3 weeks! Just started losing again. I had to google KG into LBs.. 😂 The US is one of the few countries that use the metric system, even our neighbors (Canada) don't use it. What a PITA we are!

Anyway, you're doing way better than I am! You are doing fantastic!

I am doing everything by the book but just slowly losing.... Hopefully since I got through the stall -- things will progress a bit quicker.

If you ever need an ear - you can DM me on here.

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People use the word "friend" to describe a relationship with another person too handily. A true friend will support you even if they don't totally understand everything you do. We need a new term for those people who like spending time with you but disappear when the going gets tough....maybe "Social buddies"? Sounds like your "friend" is a social buddy instead. A true friend wouldn't worry about what you can and cannot eat, instead they should be proud of you that you are trying to take control of your life and health! Good luck and remember you have true friends to commiserate with here!

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8 hours ago, JRT Mom said:

People use the word "friend" to describe a relationship with another person too handily. A true friend will support you even if they don't totally understand everything you do. We need a new term for those people who like spending time with you but disappear when the going gets tough....maybe "Social buddies"? Sounds like your "friend" is a social buddy instead. A true friend wouldn't worry about what you can and cannot eat, instead they should be proud of you that you are trying to take control of your life and health! Good luck and remember you have true friends to commiserate with here!

Thank you! Yes, i agree.. she's never really been one to rely on. Onward and upward :)

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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