Unsupportive friends

[Sassafras1 63]

Hi everyone!

I had my sleeve 6 weeks ago and have lost 17kg... i'm currently in a stall but that's another matter, it'll fix itself i'm sure

I was just wondering if anyone here has someone they're close too who has been unsupportive of their WLS? What did you do about it? Have you lost any friends?

I have a friend who has had nothing positive to say about the surgery at all, just talks about how i will never be able to eat anything and i'll be vomiting all the time after my 2 teaspoons (which is completely untrue).

[futurefinemama 163]

Surprisingly, my youngest sister was unsupportive. I stopped talking to her about the WLS. She didn't even know the date of my surgery. I figured, this was one decision about my life she did not agree with and I am totally okay with her opinion; because it's just that, an opinion. Now, if your friend is constantly making negative comments about your surgery, you might have to reevaluate if she is a genuine friend. No real friend wants you to fail.

[Lanie992 168]

Pre-WLS I had ZERO support. None. Not one person. Sisters, mother, friends, loved ones -- everyone did NOT want me to get it. My brother was okay about it, but not what I would call supportive.

I got lectured. My mom told me she did NOT want to hear about it - if I was going to do it ...and she told me NOT tell her about it. I had to have my brother tell her when I finally did it, then she waited an entire day before calling me. ( I have a great mother.. I would not trade her for the world. She was just very worried about me having surgery, so I understand her reaction... she's my MOM.)

I was so lonely and sad.

I finally told everyone via email that if they did not want to be supportive, then let's not talk about it, because I had decided it is what I wanted to do... and what I was going to do. And there was no changing my mind.

Since the surgery -- everyone has been nice about it. Not one negative comment.

If I were you - I would put my foot down with your friend and tell her that you need support at this time as you are still healing and adjusting... and for your own mental health, happiness and success - you only want to hear positive things.. and if that is not possible, then she should not discuss with you.

If that doesn't work - I would take a "break" from the friendship. You are going through so much already and don't need that negativity in your life!

PS~ I am 5 1/2 weeks out (will be 6 weeks on Thursday), so we're very close in the healing process! Congratulations!!

[Sassafras1 63]

I am 6 weeks on thursday too! We're sleeve twins

Thank you, I thought this might be the case. It just surprised me since everyone else who knew i was having it done was really supportive, even my brothers who have never said a kind word to me

[Lanie992 168]

36 minutes ago, Sassafras1 said:

I am 6 weeks on thursday too! We're sleeve twins

Thank you, I thought this might be the case. It just surprised me since everyone else who knew i was having it done was really supportive, even my brothers who have never said a kind word to me

Oh yay!! So glad I met someone who had it done on the same day! Sorry that your brothers haven't been kind to you. 🙁

I stalled for almost 3 weeks! Just started losing again. I had to google KG into LBs.. 😂 The US is one of the few countries that use the metric system, even our neighbors (Canada) don't use it. What a PITA we are!

Anyway, you're doing way better than I am! You are doing fantastic!

I am doing everything by the book but just slowly losing.... Hopefully since I got through the stall -- things will progress a bit quicker.

If you ever need an ear - you can DM me on here.

[JRT Mom 920]

People use the word "friend" to describe a relationship with another person too handily. A true friend will support you even if they don't totally understand everything you do. We need a new term for those people who like spending time with you but disappear when the going gets tough....maybe "Social buddies"? Sounds like your "friend" is a social buddy instead. A true friend wouldn't worry about what you can and cannot eat, instead they should be proud of you that you are trying to take control of your life and health! Good luck and remember you have true friends to commiserate with here!

[Sassafras1 63]

8 hours ago, JRT Mom said:

People use the word "friend" to describe a relationship with another person too handily. A true friend will support you even if they don't totally understand everything you do. We need a new term for those people who like spending time with you but disappear when the going gets tough....maybe "Social buddies"? Sounds like your "friend" is a social buddy instead. A true friend wouldn't worry about what you can and cannot eat, instead they should be proud of you that you are trying to take control of your life and health! Good luck and remember you have true friends to commiserate with here!

Thank you! Yes, i agree.. she's never really been one to rely on. Onward and upward