Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Having a hell of a time lately



Recommended Posts

I’ve been participating in my medically supervised weight loss program for 5 months. I’ve lost over 60 lbs and got a surgery date last week (March 11). I felt like I was cruising along.

The past week, however, has been incredibly hard for me. My cravings have been really intense and it’s been so tough to consistently make the right decisions. I’ve definitely deviated from my plan more in this past week than I have in the 5 months before. I feel guilty and I’m angry with myself.

Honestly I feel like this is a pattern that’s always happened in the past when I’ve lost weight. Around this point, several months in and down a lot of weight, it’s become increasingly hard for me to maintain my progress and stay on track. What sucks this time is that I’ve handled things differently-I’m participating in the program, I’m taking a medication (phentermine), and I’ve gotten support from this forum. It just sucks that in spite of all that I’m still having a hard time.

I feel like it’s probably a combination of factors—my set point fighting harder against my weight loss, the fact that I actually have a surgery date and on some level I’m justifying my indiscriminate eating by saying to myself “well you’re not going to be able to eat like this in a few weeks so you might as well get it in now,” and some (minor) injuries I’ve sustained recently that have made participating in my usual gym routine more difficult. Not making excuses, just trying to understand myself.

Anyway, I’m not really sure of my point but felt I needed to get all this out somewhere. I’m pissed at myself but I hope I can forgive myself and just get back on track.

Any of you WLS veterans struggle like this once you got your surgery date?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There is a lot of data out there, which basically flows your own, showing that it is virtually impossible (but not entirely impossible) to lose a ton of weight and keep it off, without surgery.

For reason yet known, the metabolic reset of your weight set point and also the reduction of comorbidities only seem to occur after WLS, not with conventional dieting.

Add to that the new science that "pre surgery" weight loss diets are potentially unhealthy and at the least serve no purpose.

my opinion is you e done a great job with this stage of the process, and you should just fight it out and be proud of your progress. Not many people bring their BMI down that significantly on their own.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I didn't in the months leading up to WLS, but all of my weight loss attempts before surgery ended up like this. I'd cruise along for a few weeks or months, drop 20-30-40-50 even 60 lbs, hit a brick wall, and then the weight would come back. Happened a zillion times. Which is why I decided to have WLS.

I think diet fatigue sets in after awhile, and also, yes, you're fighting biology (like your set point). Your body wants to get back to where it was before. WLS resets the biology part to a decent extent - but you do still have to watch for diet fatigue and letting old habits back in after you have WLS.

less exercise could be part of it, but gaining/losing weight is supposedly 80% diet and 20% activity, so the effect of that is probably minimal. I think it's the eating. Just white knuckle it and keep on going. You don't want to have to re-lose the weight you worked so hard to take off. Once you have surgery, you're likely to lose your hunger for awhile, so things will get easier.

cravings can be tough to deal with - maybe add a little more fat to your diet (but not enough that you're eating out of calorie range) - or maybe more Fiber. Sometimes when I'm feeling like an eating machine, I'll eat a big bowl of bran to stop it. Or something with (healthy) fat in it. Both of those things can be pretty filling... But watch those calories - again, you want to keep them within range so you're not putting on weight.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

39 minutes ago, Fatboyslim1 said:

There is a lot of data out there, which basically flows your own, showing that it is virtually impossible (but not entirely impossible) to lose a ton of weight and keep it off, without surgery.

For reason yet known, the metabolic reset of your weight set point and also the reduction of comorbidities only seem to occur after WLS, not with conventional dieting.

Add to that the new science that "pre surgery" weight loss diets are potentially unhealthy and at the least serve no purpose.

my opinion is you e done a great job with this stage of the process, and you should just fight it out and be proud of your progress. Not many people bring their BMI down that significantly on their own.

Thanks for the kind words. I hadn't heard about the presurgery weight loss programs serving no purpose or even being counterproductive. Where have you seen that? I'm curious and I'd like to learn more. It sucks to think that I'd have done all this work for nothing!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

39 minutes ago, catwoman7 said:

I didn't in the months leading up to WLS, but all of my weight loss attempts before surgery ended up like this. I'd cruise along for a few weeks or months, drop 20-30-40-50 even 60 lbs, hit a brick wall, and then the weight would come back. Happened a zillion times. Which is why I decided to have WLS.

I think diet fatigue sets in after awhile, and also, yes, you're fighting biology (like your set point). Your body wants to get back to where it was before. WLS resets the biology part to a decent extent - but you do still have to watch for diet fatigue and letting old habits back in after you have WLS.

less exercise could be part of it, but gaining/losing weight is supposedly 80% diet and 20% activity, so the effect of that is probably minimal. I think it's the eating. Just white knuckle it and keep on going. You don't want to have to re-lose the weight you worked so hard to take off. Once you have surgery, you're likely to lose your hunger for awhile, so things will get easier.

cravings can be tough to deal with - maybe add a little more fat to your diet (but not enough that you're eating out of calorie range) - or maybe more Fiber. Sometimes when I'm feeling like an eating machine, I'll eat a big bowl of bran to stop it. Or something with (healthy) fat in it. Both of those things can be pretty filling... But watch those calories - again, you want to keep them within range so you're not putting on weight.

Thanks fort the tips. I agree about the diet fatigue. Perhaps some of my problem is that over the past few weeks, I had been increasingly strict with my eating, basically limiting myself to about 1000 calories a day. My rationale was to try to prepare for life after surgery as much as possible ahead of time--I've been measuring things, eating very specific amounts, and in a quite regimented way. Honestly, it's felt good and on a day-to-day basis, it's felt totally fine. My energy level has been great even with a high exercise volume. But I think in the past week it's just caught up with me. Your suggestions to help cravings are helpful.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, MaineDoc said:

Thanks for the kind words. I hadn't heard about the presurgery weight loss programs serving no purpose or even being counterproductive. Where have you seen that? I'm curious and I'd like to learn more. It sucks to think that I'd have done all this work for nothing!

I found it productive in that it eased me into the way I'd be eating post-surgery. But then, I wasn't eating 1000 calories a day - I was eating 2300 (given that I was averaging around 3000/day before that, even 2300 meant a significant drop in calories). My dietitian had me gradually increasing my Protein, gradually decreasing my carbs, weaning myself off caffeine & carbonation, making healthier choices, and exercising more. I think I would have really burned out if I was restricted to 1000 calories, though. I could easily do that after surgery, but before - not sure I could have sustained that for long.

anyway, by gradually transitioning my eating habits into what they would be like post-surgery made the change seem a lot less radical, I think.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think you'll find anyone on the forum who not only struggles to make good choices consistently, but also to accept that you can make a bad choice, forgive yourself and move on. This is the nature of the beast. It is really difficult to try to stay on very low calorie intake before your surgery. I'd focus more on high-quality choices, maybe trying out high-protein recipes, getting in more Water, etc. Instill those habits now. The drop in calories will happen naturally after the surgery. One warning - do NOT get in the habit of Protein Shakes now or you will be sooooo burned out by the time you actually need them! Best of luck to you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, MaineDoc said:

I’ve been participating in my medically supervised weight loss program for 5 months. I’ve lost over 60 lbs and got a surgery date last week (March 11). I felt like I was cruising along.

The past week, however, has been incredibly hard for me. My cravings have been really intense and it’s been so tough to consistently make the right decisions. I’ve definitely deviated from my plan more in this past week than I have in the 5 months before. I feel guilty and I’m angry with myself.

Honestly I feel like this is a pattern that’s always happened in the past when I’ve lost weight. Around this point, several months in and down a lot of weight, it’s become increasingly hard for me to maintain my progress and stay on track. What sucks this time is that I’ve handled things differently-I’m participating in the program, I’m taking a medication (phentermine), and I’ve gotten support from this forum. It just sucks that in spite of all that I’m still having a hard time.

I feel like it’s probably a combination of factors—my set point fighting harder against my weight loss, the fact that I actually have a surgery date and on some level I’m justifying my indiscriminate eating by saying to myself “well you’re not going to be able to eat like this in a few weeks so you might as well get it in now,” and some (minor) injuries I’ve sustained recently that have made participating in my usual gym routine more difficult. Not making excuses, just trying to understand myself.

Anyway, I’m not really sure of my point but felt I needed to get all this out somewhere. I’m pissed at myself but I hope I can forgive myself and just get back on track.

Any of you WLS veterans struggle like this once you got your surgery date?

What you are experiencing is something called "Self Licensing." It's where you justify misbehavior after being "good." People do it all the time. We really know how to do it with food, for sure. "I deserve it," "Just a bite won't hurt." "I've been good all week (or day) so I deserve a treat." We sabotage our forward progress with this self defeating mind set. Some of it might be based in fear - a fear of success or a fear of change. Anyway, it goes hand in hand with the "What the heck" mindset, which says, "Well I've already blown it today, so I might as well eat the whole thing. I can start fresh tomorrow." I don't know exactly how to "cure" these negative mindsets, but I do know that recognizing them and naming them is very helpful. If you find yourself starting to self license, take a second to identify and name what you are doing. Naming the behavior tends to objectify it and take it out of the emotional response realm and put it more into the thinking/rationale realm. Also see if you can identify the "What the heck" mindset. Again, naming it helps me a lot.

Once you know that it is actually a known human behavior that has a name, I think it is easier to deal with it. The key is to get back on track immediately. Don't blow the whole day just because of one bite. Get out and take a walk!!! I am glad you are dealing with this now, because believe me, you will deal with it after surgery, as well. Yes, the early days are easier when you have no appetite, but learning some tools to handle this kind of thing now will help you so much down the road when the appetite returns, the restriction is less, and you have no limitations as to what kind of food you eat. Turn this challenge into a learning experience and it really can be a good thing!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, AZhiker said:

What you are experiencing is something called "Self Licensing." It's where you justify misbehavior after being "good." People do it all the time. We really know how to do it with food, for sure. "I deserve it," "Just a bite won't hurt." "I've been good all week (or day) so I deserve a treat." We sabotage our forward progress with this self defeating mind set. Some of it might be based in fear - a fear of success or a fear of change. Anyway, it goes hand in hand with the "What the heck" mindset, which says, "Well I've already blown it today, so I might as well eat the whole thing. I can start fresh tomorrow." I don't know exactly how to "cure" these negative mindsets, but I do know that recognizing them and naming them is very helpful. If you find yourself starting to self license, take a second to identify and name what you are doing. Naming the behavior tends to objectify it and take it out of the emotional response realm and put it more into the thinking/rationale realm. Also see if you can identify the "What the heck" mindset. Again, naming it helps me a lot.

Once you know that it is actually a known human behavior that has a name, I think it is easier to deal with it. The key is to get back on track immediately. Don't blow the whole day just because of one bite. Get out and take a walk!!! I am glad you are dealing with this now, because believe me, you will deal with it after surgery, as well. Yes, the early days are easier when you have no appetite, but learning some tools to handle this kind of thing now will help you so much down the road when the appetite returns, the restriction is less, and you have no limitations as to what kind of food you eat. Turn this challenge into a learning experience and it really can be a good thing!

Thank you, this is great and helpful! I'd just add, that the "fear," at least from my perspective, is a Fear of Missing Out--it's that voice that says to you, "if you don't eat this (yummy whatever) right this instant, then you may not ever get to again! you don't want to miss that, do you?" it's similar to the other fears you mentioned and I think what you said about simply labeling these reactions as being really important makes a lot of sense, but I just wanted to add this to the discussion.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think that many of us experience this. I called it “food funerals”

Just get back on track as quickly as possible and you will do just fine.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

19 hours ago, MaineDoc said:

I’ve been participating in my medically supervised weight loss program for 5 months. I’ve lost over 60 lbs and got a surgery date last week (March 11). I felt like I was cruising along.

The past week, however, has been incredibly hard for me. My cravings have been really intense and it’s been so tough to consistently make the right decisions. I’ve definitely deviated from my plan more in this past week than I have in the 5 months before. I feel guilty and I’m angry with myself.

Honestly I feel like this is a pattern that’s always happened in the past when I’ve lost weight. Around this point, several months in and down a lot of weight, it’s become increasingly hard for me to maintain my progress and stay on track. What sucks this time is that I’ve handled things differently-I’m participating in the program, I’m taking a medication (phentermine), and I’ve gotten support from this forum. It just sucks that in spite of all that I’m still having a hard time.

I feel like it’s probably a combination of factors—my set point fighting harder against my weight loss, the fact that I actually have a surgery date and on some level I’m justifying my indiscriminate eating by saying to myself “well you’re not going to be able to eat like this in a few weeks so you might as well get it in now,” and some (minor) injuries I’ve sustained recently that have made participating in my usual gym routine more difficult. Not making excuses, just trying to understand myself.

Anyway, I’m not really sure of my point but felt I needed to get all this out somewhere. I’m pissed at myself but I hope I can forgive myself and just get back on track.

Any of you WLS veterans struggle like this once you got your surgery date?

I hope you're getting bypass that's really the best surgery to change your metabolism and your set point plus the gut biome.

Okay I went from eating so much junk all day everyday probably as much as 5000cal a day now 3 months post RNY I'll eat max 750cal and rarely even hungry I'm like a new person; I'm definitely not going into the fridge every hour like I used to..

You've done well to lose 60lbs and your surgery is coming up quick so you'll be fine.

My honest experience is if I'm hungry I'll have high Protein Shake and that will fix my hunger but it's the bad carbs that cause insulin spike and hunger...

I may be an anomaly but I lost 66lbs before my RNY and I've lost 66lbs since :D

And I'm like 10lbs from my end goal too

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×