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My mother said she no longer wants to talk or see me anymore.



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Cut her out of your life.

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Well there's a update for y'all. My mother showed up at my house after not being able to call me. She's blocked. She profusely apologized over and over again for being a bi#ch about my surgery. She said she is jealous and can't help it. She said she still wants me in her life. I asked her, what for? She said she was sorry for saying she should of aborted me and would like to work our problems out. I told she needs to work her problems out as I'm just fine without her. She asked me to unblock her and I told her I will call her if I ever need to. I told her not to hold her breath. And then she left. I don't know if I should take her seriously, or did she just wanted to see my weight right now since she hasn't seen me in a little over a year. Either way I didn't invite her in my house.

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I would let her stew for a bit. Let her really put some thought into it. If she is serious about making amends with you she won’t give up yet,

wait and see what happens. You have to safeguard your heart in my opinion.

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That sucks. I have the best mom in the world. If it hadn't been for her I would have eaten a lead bullet when I was about 13 years old. My dad is cruel, and a true sociopath. I remember being a little kid and him telling me that he should have shot me or on a tree stump and let the ants eat me. He wasn't joking. When I had surgery in 2015 to remove cancer my mom asked him if he wanted to say anything to me because I could die in the table. He shrugged his shoulders, didn't even look at me, and said "whatever". Such a jerk.

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I've had the same thing happen recently, but I'm not really worried. She blocked my number, at first I tried to call her, I was looking for an opportunity to meet with her, to talk. She knows all the possible numbers from which I can call her, except for one, so she doesn't pick up the phone. I called her from my virtual number https://www.mightycall.com/toll-free-number/ she picked up the phone and didn't recognize me at first, but gradually realized that it was me, and hung up with screams. After that, I stopped making any attempts

Oh, damn
What have you done to ruin your relationship with your mother so much?

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No one, I mean absolutely no one has the right to talk or not talk to you in such a disrespectful way. Why some parents chose to have children and treat them so horribly is beyond me. My birth father was mentally, emotionally and physically abusive. When my mother left him and filed for divorce and received sole custody, he kidnapped my brother and me and told us our mother had been killed in a car accident. For four years he kept us on the move trying to stay ahead of the law. It was 2 years before our mother her found us and began a battle to get us back. God in his infinite mercy not only made that possible but my mother was married to a kind, gentle loving man who made me feel loved and cherished. Six years later, one week after my graduation from high school, my birth father her showed up at our door. My stepfather who I called Daddy had instilled in me the self confidence that my birth father her had attempted to destroy. I told my birth father off, telling him that I wanted nothing to do with him and that my father her was in the bedroom. I never spoke to him again. That was 52 years ago and I haven’t missed him a second in all that time for one second.
you have a wife who obviously loves you and stood by you as you started your weight loss journey.
if your mother is so petty as to treat you or her other children in this manner, put her in your rear view mirror and never look back. If something is bad for you, you just have to let it go. Our parents get 18 years to be either a good or bad parent. Once you are an adult, you get to choose your own course in life. You can either pack your awful childhood away and start a fresh journey of your own or you can haul that old baggage around and let it ruin your life. The choice is yours.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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