Do we all have "issues"?

[losingjusme 12]

the only 'issue' i have is that i love food. a lot. yup, still do and there are days i wish i could physically eat more, but dont cause PB'ing is bad ...

[distant0098 1]

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[lizzie_07 0]

Hmm...My mom says this too me all the time..."the band will help you deal with your weight but what about whats up here?" (pointing to head). I understand why she says that but at the same time I think everyone has some sort of issue and their actions are partially the result of them. I have had a wonderful life technically. My only real "issue" is my problems with food and the way I judge myself. I've been overweight since I was 6 so I literally don't know what it feels like to be thin. In my family food brought us together. It made me happy, took away any sadness, was a way a celebrating. When I became depressed as a result of my weight what did I turn to? FOOD, of course. When I felt I couldn't control how much food I was putting in my mouth I became Bulimic to try to compensate (which no one knows about I might add). So yeah, I have issues, and so does everyone else, whether they want to admit it or not.

[kity 2]

Sorry folks, but we all have issues. I began therapy because of the band...and I have learned so much. If you've eaten yourself to need WLS...you have issues. It is ok. Your not alone.

Mainly "issues" come from something long ago in our past. I was not abused, or tramatized or anything else. But (without going into my personal stuff) from something that occured over time when I was 5 or 6 years old, I've developed control issues. As a result, and this really goes for all "over eaters" or "food addiction" people...we comfort ourselves w/ food.

What is the difference between a person w/ food addiction issues and drug issues. We are all trying to mask our true feeling about something. The euphoria (sp) we get from food is the same as a drug for people. Our's just looks better on the outside.

I was in therapy today and actually spent an hour talking about this just subject. My question to him was..."ok, I've got control issues and for 40 years I've used food to comfort and sooth. NOW WHAT" I don't wanna be on the couch for life. I wanna learn new strategies and skills and get on. I don't wanna replace one addiction for another (although being an exercise junkie would not be too bad). I would STILL have my feelings and "issues"...always. It is when I deal w/ them head on that I will mend. No, this is not a quick fix either...it will take time.

We can say, "I don't have "issues", and you may really believe that. But you do if you use (d) food to feel better. My last piece of advice is if you seek out some professional help, don't waste your time w/ a counselor. If you can afford it talk w/ a psychologist. I didn't even know about what happened in my childhood...and he implemented a battery of tests that helped me pin point things.

If you disagree with my post...fine. I am just trying to honestly help someone who may need it.

We are in this together.

[chocolate_snaps 3]

Kity I totally agree.

I knew I had issues before the band but I thought they had nothing to do with food and my weight. Well boy was I wrong. Ive learned that my eating is a direct result of my issues and some of my issues are the result of my weight. Catch 22 if I ever saw one.

I would have never called myself an emotional eater because I never saw the connection. I would say "Im fat beacause I dont exercise" NOT "Im fat because I eat too many Cookies and I dont exercise and I dont think Im good enough etc".

I let myself believe that I was lazy. I cant tell you how many hours of therapy it took before I made those realizations. I would rather believe ill of myself before I thought I had food issues.

"Because im lazy" translates (in my mind) to: Im not good enough; Im just not trying hard enough; I am truely inferior; I dont care; I HAVE ISSUES. Basically by saying "Im fat because I am lazy" we are insulting ourselves and inflicting selfharm, people with interalized issues do that, issue-free people dont hurt themselves.

While I dont think that this is the best place for some hard self honesty, I do think that we all should look into how honest we are being with ourselves in our real lives. Do you really think that you are lazy or is that what youve been told by your family, friends, culture and now believe?

We should look at when we eat, not necessarily what time but when. For me, I am instantly ravenous if my mother says even the slightest cross word to me. Funny thing is that I didnt realize this until maybe a month ago. Ive only been banded 2 months.

So do I think that we all have issues? Yes

Do I think we all know our issues without some serious reflection and hard self honesty? No

As Oprah once said, "No one escapes childhood unharmed".

[Jachut 487]

Well, I totally disagree, lol.

Most thin people use food inappropriately too. Nearly everyone does, the person who views food ONLY as a source of nutrition is a very rare person. Our culture has led us to viewing food as a source of pleasure, socialising, celebrating, most cultures approach food in that manner. Also human beings, like animals are really evolved to stuff themselves stupid, lie around in blissful satiation for a few days and then go and eat again. When we do eat, we're meant to expend huge calories to catch our meal.

There's LOTS of reasons people have become fatter that have nothing to do with emotions or issues. We dont even have to wind our car windows down anymore.

Speaking for myself, I was someone who held a bit of extra weight but was not obese for the majority of my childhood and up to when I started having babies. When I had babies, my lifestyle changed, the exercise dropped, the ability to think only for myself (and thus plan to shop and eat appropriately) disappeared into a haze of breastfeeding and nappy changing, followed by toddlerhood and with each baby, the weight went up a little more and whammo, sudddenly that 8kg weight problem was a 38kg one. On top of simply being a person who liked to eat, liked to cook and entertain and liked to sit on my well cushioned rear end in front of the telly, I was prone to that weight gain. I can see it in my kids now, one is active and thin, one is getting pudgy and is by nature very sedentary and one is too little to tell yet.

So I have to insist - I dont have ANY issues. I just like to eat, specially when I'm bored and have nothing else to do. I learned to associate telly watching and internet surfing with food too, a habit I've broken. I couldnt say I ever had a food "addiction" in the way others talk about it, I just ate a bit too much.

I dont call myself "lazy" but I enjoyed too many non active pursuits. I could always find the energy for whatever it was I really wanted, its just that my downtime I liked to spend non actively. Lazy doesnt translate into not good enough in my mind, it just means I like to be horizontal, blissing out. I can still be that, I just have to counter it with some activity.

Actually, valuable as therapy can be, the whole "overtherapising" trend annoys me, it shifts responsibility onto some external event, person or thing. Seriously, I didnt exercise enough becuase that was something I didnt care to find the energy for and I ate too much because I just liked eating. When I really faced that issue - that I could do something about it if I really wanted to - I lost weight. Simple. It was down to me, it wasnt due to anything BUT me, and when I faced up to how big a problem it had gotten I knew I had to act so I did. There's no complicated issues there, it was just a matter of seeing the problem and taking action.

[chocolate_snaps 3]

Oh I certainly think thin people have issues too. I think everybody has issues even if they dont know it.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Well, I totally disagree, lol.

Most thin people use food inappropriately too. Nearly everyone does, the person who views food ONLY as a source of nutrition is a very rare person. Our culture has led us to viewing food as a source of pleasure, socialising, celebrating, most cultures approach food in that manner. Also human beings, like animals are really evolved to stuff themselves stupid, lie around in blissful satiation for a few days and then go and eat again. When we do eat, we're meant to expend huge calories to catch our meal.

There's LOTS of reasons people have become fatter that have nothing to do with emotions or issues. We dont even have to wind our car windows down anymore.

Speaking for myself, I was someone who held a bit of extra weight but was not obese for the majority of my childhood and up to when I started having babies. When I had babies, my lifestyle changed, the exercise dropped, the ability to think only for myself (and thus plan to shop and eat appropriately) disappeared into a haze of breastfeeding and nappy changing, followed by toddlerhood and with each baby, the weight went up a little more and whammo, sudddenly that 8kg weight problem was a 38kg one. On top of simply being a person who liked to eat, liked to cook and entertain and liked to sit on my well cushioned rear end in front of the telly, I was prone to that weight gain. I can see it in my kids now, one is active and thin, one is getting pudgy and is by nature very sedentary and one is too little to tell yet.

So I have to insist - I dont have ANY issues. I just like to eat, specially when I'm bored and have nothing else to do. I learned to associate telly watching and internet surfing with food too, a habit I've broken. I couldnt say I ever had a food "addiction" in the way others talk about it, I just ate a bit too much.

I dont call myself "lazy" but I enjoyed too many non active pursuits. I could always find the energy for whatever it was I really wanted, its just that my downtime I liked to spend non actively. Lazy doesnt translate into not good enough in my mind, it just means I like to be horizontal, blissing out. I can still be that, I just have to counter it with some activity.

Actually, valuable as therapy can be, the whole "overtherapising" trend annoys me, it shifts responsibility onto some external event, person or thing. Seriously, I didnt exercise enough becuase that was something I didnt care to find the energy for and I ate too much because I just liked eating. When I really faced that issue - that I could do something about it if I really wanted to - I lost weight. Simple. It was down to me, it wasnt due to anything BUT me, and when I faced up to how big a problem it had gotten I knew I had to act so I did. There's no complicated issues there, it was just a matter of seeing the problem and taking action.

Hey Jacqui....

Think you could just sign my name to your post as well?

[Jachut 487]

Start a petition, lol?

I was reflecting on this down at the shops today, had lunch with my kids down there (salad sandwiches on wholegrain bread all around!).

As a normal weight person now, I am harsh on myself and whether my body is good enough yet, but looking around, I'm unusually thin for a woman who's had a couple of babies. Most people in Australia are not morbidly obese, but everybody has their muffin top going on and their blobby belly bouncing round under the Tshirt. Everyone is overweight these days.

Do all these people have "issues'. Uh, no of COURSE they dont. They're victims of convenience eating, busy, work focussed or baby focussed sedentary lifestyles and poor lifestyle habits, nothing more. Getting to be morbidly obese may indeed be an emotional reaction to traumatic life circumstances, and it sure as heck indicates more than a tweak to the lifestyle is required, but I found it quite easy to become obese without really being an obvious piggy or terribly terribly lazy. I lived the same lifestyle that most people I know of my age and circumstances live - and it made me fatter than it makes some other people, pure and simple. Now I live an exemplary lifestyle compared to my peers and that's what it takes for ME to stay at a normal weight, whereas many of my friends remain nice and thin despite not living all that well.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Start a petition, lol?

I was kinda thinking more like coauthors because I helped write your post. You remember, don't you? Sure you do! It was... the other day. Remember? :clap2::clap2::clap2:

[Jachut 487]

WASA - 50/50? If someone doesnt like the answer, I'll just say you wrote it, and I'll take all the credit for the popular ones!

[Jachut 487]

Chocolatesnaps - I agree to a point we're all a mix of nature and nurture, we're all what we are becuase of our life history, of course it shapes our personalities.

Does this translate into "issues" for everyone or does everyone need therapy? Pffft, no way!

[Jachut 487]

Sorry, I didnt mean to delete it, I edited and lost it! See rewritten post above, sheesh this board is complicated.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

WASA - 50/50? If someone doesnt like the answer, I'll just say you wrote it, and I'll take all the credit for the popular ones!

I'm kinda sorta getting used to that anyway, sort of like being the back half of a horse in a costume.

HAHA

[Jachut 487]

And I better shut up now, becuase you know, he (or she) who protests the loudest....