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Having a flaming meltdown... help!!!



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I’m on day 2 of my pre-op diet. I’m grateful that it includes 2 very small meals and 3 Protein Shakes daily. It really isn’t too bad so far. HOWEVER, I’m keeping the surgery secret from all but a couple people and so I’m cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the kids and Gkids as I always do. As I am cooking a lot of my favorite foods and seeing my recipes for others as I go, I’m really questioning my decision. Do I really want to go through with this? I’m almost 64. maybe it’s too late. I thought I was firm in my conviction. My comorbidities are not bad but I have almost all of them. I’m wondering though if it’s worth all this when I’m old enough to die from some other thing that I don’t even know to worry about. Maybe I should just kick back and enjoy my food. I am an awesome cook - meaning it’s a joy in my life and I get some self-esteem out of the deal too - and maybe it’s just not worth it at this point. I burst into tears looking through the recipes and I feel really conflicted. feedback, please!

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1. It is never too late to get healthy. The older members of this board are inspirations that have had great success.

2. You should not be worried about dying at 64. Medical advances can help you live far beyond what your parents or grandparents may have.

3. You can still cook. Just eat smaller portions.

4. At first I hid my surgery, so I understand. But I ultimately told my family and they were supportive so I would just say give people a chance.

Thanksgiving is a hard time to start your pre-op diet. But you got this. Just think of how much better you'll feel. And think of what you're doing for your kids and grandkids. You're giving them the gift of you. Remember that.

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Only you can decide if it is worth it to you. I had my sleeve at age 60 and it is by far the best thing I could have done for myself. I had horrible asthma/COPD , horrible lower back and leg pain and borderline high blood pressure. All of these comorbidities have completely resolved and I feel so much better. My tastes in food have changed but I am able to enjoy what I eat and not feel deprived.

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This time of year is always the most challenging for everyone who is so watching their weight. That being said, I keep saying to myself, I can't have certain things right now, but I will again. The health benefits far out way the challenges. Next year you will be able to have all your favorite things again but have good health and awesome weight loss! Hang in there, you got this, have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family.

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lots of us are in our 60s - you're not too old. You could live another 20-30 years - esp if you get rid of those co-morbidities. Only you can make that decision, but speaking only for myself, I'm glad I made the decision and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Should have done it YEARS ago.

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Thanks, Ladies! I needed all these reminders to get refocused. I do want to do this for all the reasons all of you shared. I have a tendency toward black and white thinking. I will be able to cook and eat again. Thanks for taking the time and being here in my moment of crisis.

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3 hours ago, Libby63 said:

I’m on day 2 of my pre-op diet. I’m grateful that it includes 2 very small meals and 3 Protein Shakes daily. It really isn’t too bad so far. HOWEVER, I’m keeping the surgery secret from all but a couple people and so I’m cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the kids and Gkids as I always do. As I am cooking a lot of my favorite foods and seeing my recipes for others as I go, I’m really questioning my decision. Do I really want to go through with this? I’m almost 64. maybe it’s too late. I thought I was firm in my conviction. My comorbidities are not bad but I have almost all of them. I’m wondering though if it’s worth all this when I’m old enough to die from some other thing that I don’t even know to worry about. Maybe I should just kick back and enjoy my food. I am an awesome cook - meaning it’s a joy in my life and I get some self-esteem out of the deal too - and maybe it’s just not worth it at this point. I burst into tears looking through the recipes and I feel really conflicted. feedback, please!

Yes it is worth it!!!! I was 63 when I had my surgery. I had to cook big meals, also, but you can get past this. Keep telling yourself, "I can't have this now, but I can have it later." And you will. Don't falter now. This will be one of the best decisions of your life. You have some co-morbidities now - they will only get worse,,,, and worse,,,,,, and worse. This is a huge decision you are making to improve your life forever, to be around for your grand kids, to life life fully - to regain the life you have lost to obesity. A few holiday meals are not worth it. They will pass, but you will get a whole new life! Be strong . You can do this.

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I had my surgery in July. I turned 68 in Sept. You're never too old!!

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Freeze your turkey dinner into three small dinners for a month after surgery. Meanwhile, smell the wonderful aromas. Maybe make yourself a delicious turkey broth you can sip while people are eating. There will be many years to enjoy your favorite recipes. You will just be having a bite of each thing!

Edited by ValerieInMexico

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You will get to cook again! But this time you will feel fitter and more able bodied whilst doing it. Kicking back and enjoying life can be done without food being at the centre. Remember why you made the decision to go through with this in the first place and hold on to that.

You can do it! We are cheering you on!

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On November 27, 2019 at 5:28 PM, Libby63 said:

Thanks, Ladies! I needed all these reminders to get refocused. I do want to do this for all the reasons all of you shared. I have a tendency toward black and white thinking. I will be able to cook and eat again. Thanks for taking the time and being here in my moment of crisis.

Hi Libby63, I just had my surgery 11/4. Yesterday on Thanksgiving....I stayed home---just as self care, mentally and physically. I'm not to soft foods yet, and yes, it was tough--but as the others mentioned above, its just this year. I'll be able to enjoy foods again in the future. My goal is to restore my health and enjoy my 3 little granddaughters for the next hopefully 20+ years. My weight problem started when I was late 30's, working night shift as RN and then developed depression. Medications added 30 lbs immediately, and working off shifts escalated weight gain. Through the years, shifts in medications, divorce etc etc and I can't believe it happened to me--the weight gain. I did a lot of research on bariatric/metabolic surgery and the positive changes it will bring. I made the decision in June 2019 and went ahead with strong mind. No regrets. You're right, it's not easy. Being 250 lbs and 5/4" wasn't easy and I didn't want to live that way any longer. I felt myself retreating and isolating from social gathers. Working all week, and isolating on the weekends. My mother died at age 48 of ovarian ca. I don't want my health to deteriorate any more to not be able to travel to my daughters home and play a major role in her life and her family. Obesity is a pile on disease...the co-morbidities pile on and underlying it all is the disease of obesity. I wish you the very best in your decision. You can do it, and the health changes it will bring will be worth it. God Bless!

Gloria

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I have not been particularly scared about the surgery. I’ve had surgeries before so the operation didn’t scare me. I’ve been journaling and doing exercises from a BariatricPal mindset book so I felt on top of the head games, but I just lost it the other night and you were all so helpful! Thank you so much. You are all wonderful. I seem to be ok now but when we talked about gratitude at the Thanksgiving table I was talking about one thing but I was also thinking about you all and how I only got through it all because of you. Hugs! 💕💕💕

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

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