Married with WLS

[KayLow42 28]

Does anyone have any insight on changes to a marriage when one partner has WLS? I know there is a higher rate of divorce with people who have WLS. I’ve been heavy all my life and always told “you’d be so pretty if you lost weight”.... so I’m worried about new attention from men when I go out because I’ve never had it before. I feel comfortable being invisible. I am married now for 4 years.

[Dances with Carbs 168]

My husband is following my diet and losing weight with me. I've heard about the weightloss transformation causing divorces. I haven't given it much thought though. Trust and honesty is the key here. I have to say if someone told me how much prettier I'd be if I lost weight, I'd probably consider throat punching them.

[ajallen 27]

I think my marriage has got better than before surgery because I can do more with my husband, He thinks it is funny with the questions he is asked from whether I am alright and not sick to who his younger girlfriend is, I think it all in the way you think about things.

[New&Improved 1,780]

It really depends... Some partners like their spouse to stay big so they don't get any attention from other people and they may start to feel threatened once you start to lose weight..

[catwoman7 11,277]

they say marriages that are strong to begin with stay strong or can even improve. Those that have underlying issues can sometimes dissolve - probably because the person losing weight often becomes more self-confident and doesn't want to put up with the crap anymore.

my marriage, if anything, got stronger. My husband has never had a weight problem and was very active - at almost 400 lbs, I couldn't keep up with him. Now, I can! I think we've gotten closer since my surgery.

[lvidacovich 372]

Agree with catwoman - it seems to amplify whatever the true relationship is. If things are good then WLS usually helps that relationship get even better! If things are bad then WLS can make thing worse.

My wife was also quite concerned about this but her and I independently came to the same conclusion - which is basically what I said above.

[Lynda486 788]

I have been married for 28 years (on Leap Day) This is the second time we have gone through this and I would say we are stronger than ever. My husband weighs 135/140, and very active. He bought us a tandem bike and we plan to take advantage of the trails here in Missouri next year.

[ms.sss 15,811]

3 hours ago, catwoman7 said:

they say marriages that are strong to begin with stay strong or can even improve.  Those that have underlying issues can sometimes dissolve

Yeah, I think this is basically it. Relationships that are already strong can weather storms/issues/problems/major changes better than ones that aren't.

[bandsmom74 21]

In my case I am having the surgery because my husband already lost over 100 lbs on his own. I tried to keep up with him but he was a maniac after being diagnosed with HBP and Type 2 diabetes and lost it in less than 6 mos. I am struggling trying to lose on my own, as I always have after 25+ years of obesity.

I am really looking forward to a new and healthier. more active lifestyle with him!