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Does anyone have any insight on changes to a marriage when one partner has WLS? I know there is a higher rate of divorce with people who have WLS. I’ve been heavy all my life and always told “you’d be so pretty if you lost weight”.... so I’m worried about new attention from men when I go out because I’ve never had it before. I feel comfortable being invisible. I am married now for 4 years.

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My husband is following my diet and losing weight with me. I've heard about the weightloss transformation causing divorces. I haven't given it much thought though. Trust and honesty is the key here. I have to say if someone told me how much prettier I'd be if I lost weight, I'd probably consider throat punching them.

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I think my marriage has got better than before surgery because I can do more with my husband, He thinks it is funny with the questions he is asked from whether I am alright and not sick to who his younger girlfriend is, I think it all in the way you think about things.

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It really depends... Some partners like their spouse to stay big so they don't get any attention from other people and they may start to feel threatened once you start to lose weight..

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they say marriages that are strong to begin with stay strong or can even improve. Those that have underlying issues can sometimes dissolve - probably because the person losing weight often becomes more self-confident and doesn't want to put up with the crap anymore.

my marriage, if anything, got stronger. My husband has never had a weight problem and was very active - at almost 400 lbs, I couldn't keep up with him. Now, I can! I think we've gotten closer since my surgery.

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Agree with catwoman - it seems to amplify whatever the true relationship is. If things are good then WLS usually helps that relationship get even better! If things are bad then WLS can make thing worse.

My wife was also quite concerned about this but her and I independently came to the same conclusion - which is basically what I said above.

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I have been married for 28 years (on Leap Day) This is the second time we have gone through this and I would say we are stronger than ever. My husband weighs 135/140, and very active. He bought us a tandem bike and we plan to take advantage of the trails here in Missouri next year.

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3 hours ago, catwoman7 said:

they say marriages that are strong to begin with stay strong or can even improve.  Those that have underlying issues can sometimes dissolve

Yeah, I think this is basically it. Relationships that are already strong can weather storms/issues/problems/major changes better than ones that aren't.

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In my case I am having the surgery because my husband already lost over 100 lbs on his own. I tried to keep up with him but he was a maniac after being diagnosed with HBP and Type 2 diabetes and lost it in less than 6 mos. I am struggling trying to lose on my own, as I always have after 25+ years of obesity.

I am really looking forward to a new and healthier. more active lifestyle with him!

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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