... I have this almost irresistible urge to talk to them about my WLS.
At first, this was happening with some family and friends. One month after I had WLS, one of my good friends who is super-MO,had a heart attack (at the age of 45) and spent over 2 months in the hospital, had multiple surgeries and now has to wear an LVAT and will either die early or need a transplant.
I desperately wanted to talk to her and our other MO friends who I would meet at the hospital, but obviously it wasn’t the appropriate moment.

Since then as I edge ever-closer to GW, I find myself being drawn to MO and super-MO people and I want to scream at the top of my lungs that there is a way out of that living hell.
It’s also complicated by the fact that I’m a healthcare professional so I see these guys day in and day out.

I’ve had SUCH a positive experience and my life and well-being have done a complete 180 that I feel almost as if I have a personal responsibility to let anyone and everyone know about WLS.

I know what you mean. I was at the store this evening around dinner time. As I walked past the fast food kiosk in the store, the line waiting to be served was entirely MO folks. It's such mixed feelings, isn't it? I never want to be judgmental or condescending, because I have walked in those shoes. But you can't say anything and do anything, but oh, sometimes I just want to hug a MO person and tell them there is an answer.

What is getting interesting now, is that sometimes I will offer information to MO patients that come to my department. This is only when they initiate the topic, like "I'm really trying to lose weight," or "I've lost 30 pounds," or "I just don't know what I can change." When I empathize or offer some suggestions, I've actually had people look at me and say things like, "You wouldn't understand," implying that a thin person could not relate to their situation. THAT is when I tell them that I've lost over 100 pounds and do indeed understand the struggle and the work it takes. I usually have a rapt audience at that point. But so strange to be on the "other" side with MO people making assumptions about me based on MY weight (which is now normal.)

On 9/5/2019 at 3:22 PM, FluffyChix said:

But sadly, no one likes reformed smokers or reformed alcoholics

?So very true?...

No one likes a reformed ____________ (fill in with anything) Rushing in to save them when they didn't ask for help.

I suspect because It feels controlling and people are hesitant to surrender (perceived or real) freedoms even if its for their own good.

I personally can't imagine how I would have responded 5 years ago if (being in good health then but obese) someone randomly suggested I have surgery.

*Bihhh mind yo bidness*

From my Doctor I would have taken it under advisement but others... IDK seem it would have come off as intrusive

Okay so one of my friends almost died earlier this year and she’s currently needing to get on a heart transplant list, but they won’t even put her on the list due to her super-MO ( if I had to guess, I would say she’s at least 350+ pounds, and that would be a conservative guess).
The answer her docs have come up with? Bariatric surgery to get off a hundred pounds or more, then she can be on a transplant list.
Her prognosis without transplant? Not good at all. She’s 46 years old and they are telling her she’ll likely not see 50 without it.

Her response? She’s still freaking “undecided” bc she doesn’t want to “lose her current relationship to food”

It was an extremely rough convo for me to have bc she’s a highly intelligent woman, but I just can’t believe that she’s honestly thinking about allowing food to literally kill her.
For the record, all I did was go over the pros and cons of WLS, and tried my best to not sound like I was trying to convince her, but dang it was tough bc i know what will happen if she doesn’t do it

On 11/15/2019 at 15:48, mousecat88 said:

On-topic.... going to grocery stores and looking at everyone's carts sickens me. I want to be like NOOOO DON'T EAT THAT ****. Especially since my State has the highest rate of obesity in the US.

On this topic, I’ve had a rough few days at work lately and it wasn’t helped by the fact that some customers and employee spouses have been making sweets for us.
On Thursday, we had a pie, 1 birthday cake, some brownies, and 2 DIFFERENT batches of cookies on the back counter.
I’m proud to say I didn’t even have a nibble off of even one corner of anything, but it brought home just how toxic and dangerous this season is.
Last week I ran the gauntlet, but I’ve got at least 7-8 weeks to go
*sigh*

6 hours ago, Sheribear68 said:

On this topic, I’ve had a rough few days at work lately and it wasn’t helped by the fact that some customers and employee spouses have been making sweets for us.
On Thursday, we had a pie, 1 birthday cake, some brownies, and 2 DIFFERENT batches of Cookies on the back counter.
I’m proud to say I didn’t even have a nibble off of even one corner of anything, but it brought home just how toxic and dangerous this season is.
Last week I ran the gauntlet, but I’ve got at least 7-8 weeks to go
*sigh*

Don't forget to counter their efforts with vegetable trays ?

Food pressure can go both ways ?

6 hours ago, Sheribear68 said:

Okay so one of my friends almost died earlier this year and she’s currently needing to get on a heart transplant list, but they won’t even put her on the list due to her super-MO ( if I had to guess, I would say she’s at least 350+ pounds, and that would be a conservative guess).
The answer her docs have come up with? Bariatric surgery to get off a hundred pounds or more, then she can be on a transplant list.
Her prognosis without transplant? Not good at all. She’s 46 years old and they are telling her she’ll likely not see 50 without it.

Her response? She’s still freaking “undecided” bc she doesn’t want to “lose her current relationship to food”

It was an extremely rough convo for me to have bc she’s a highly intelligent woman, but I just can’t believe that she’s honestly thinking about allowing food to literally kill her.
For the record, all I did was go over the pros and cons of WLS, and tried my best to not sound like I was trying to convince her, but dang it was tough bc i know what will happen if she doesn’t do it

Very tough ?

On 11/15/2019 at 2:48 PM, mousecat88 said:

On-topic.... going to grocery stores and looking at everyone's carts sickens me. I want to be like NOOOO DON'T EAT THAT ****. Especially since my State has the highest rate of obesity in the US.

Sometimes I tally the percentage of OW or MO people in a room or in a store. Sure enough - right at the national average of 2/3. I never really noticed the numbers before - mainly because I was so worried about being the fat girl in the room. But actually, 2/3 of the population was right there with me. What a gift we have been given in WLS. Such a second chance at life. May we never take it for granted.

I think there is another side to it .... I am so grateful to be free from the judgement I felt as when I was MO.

I like not being judged for what's in my shopping cart. No one bats an eye when a skinny person orders a double cheeseburger.

When you're MO it's like you can't win. You have a shopping cart full of kale and people think, "who is she kidding"

1 hour ago, sillykitty said:

I think there is another side to it .... I am so grateful to be free from the judgement I felt as when I was MO.

I like not being judged for what's in my shopping cart. No one bats an eye when a skinny person orders a double cheeseburger.

When you're MO it's like you can't win. You have a shopping cart full of kale and people think, "who is she kidding"

I literally never care what anyone else is buying unless im trapped behind them and deciding if I want to wait in line to get whats in my basket or just leave ?

If someone was judging me based what was in my shopping cart before i was so unaware its ridiculous. I never even considered it. Especially since there was all types of stuff in there and always at least one kid inside ?

Edited November 20, 20196 yr by GreenTealael

Interesting thought I just had...

In general, we are all our own worst critics. Lord knows I hated on myself more than my fair share of times for bringing home less than the best of choices.
It could be we are projecting our own feelings of self-flagellation onto others.

At the end of the day, I do very much still remember what it’s like to have people move aside before I could even reach them, or see the look on people’s faces whenever they had to sit next to me on a plane, or other form of public trans.
Just physically taking up less space now makes me so happy (hello, my seatbelt snap thingie doesn’t dig into my hips anymore and I can fit into a public restroom stall) and it makes me sad when I see people in obvious physical pain out and about.

I will honestly confess that I was totally embarrassed by my shopping cart the other day. I had lots of healthy stuff - no junk and no processed food. Then my husband catches up to me and throws in his bologne, pot pies, hotdogs, cheap pizza, and boxed mac n cheese. AGHHHHHHHH! Kind of funny and sad all at the same time.

1 hour ago, AZhiker said:

pot pies, hotdogs, cheap pizza, and boxed mac n cheese.

You'll find these in my cart at any given time. And a bunch of other stuff I'm sure would be cause for "concern".

Like Green Tea, I didn't really occur to me that there are people in line cataloging my purchases.

After reading this thread (and Silly's comments) I wonder if my cart contents are still as interesting for others to study and assess as a smaller person as it was when I was a bigger one.

2 hours ago, ms.sss said:

After reading this thread (and Silly's comments) I wonder if my cart contents are still as interesting for others to study and assess as a smaller person as it was when I was a bigger one.

I think that is the thing ... why is there the thought process that there is "food that skinny people eat" and "food that fat people eat"? There is literally just food.

On 11/20/2019 at 21:35, sillykitty said:

I think that is the thing ... why is there the thought process that there is "food that skinny people eat" and "food that fat people eat"? There is literally just food.

Well mostly the food in our cart is protein,veg,dairy, and the ever-important food group, iced coffee.
The only time I add carbs in any form in my cart is when I’m shopping for an event.
I actually do view carts full of soda pop, pop tarts, kid cereal, chips, crackers, cookies, ice cream, bread,pasta,boxes of Mac and cheese., etc to be “fat people food”. I know bc I used to have carts that looked like that and that’s part of why I got so fat.
That being said, I don’t judge bc everyone has their story and that’s their business.
It does make me sad though that the cheaper food is the stuff that’s mostly garbage.

Not saying that only the MO walk around with carts like this, but there’s a much higher incident if it.

I don’t look what other people buy at the grocery store. Judgment free zone in my world.