... I have this almost irresistible urge to talk to them about my WLS.
At first, this was happening with some family and friends. One month after I had WLS, one of my good friends who is super-MO,had a heart attack (at the age of 45) and spent over 2 months in the hospital, had multiple surgeries and now has to wear an LVAT and will either die early or need a transplant.
I desperately wanted to talk to her and our other MO friends who I would meet at the hospital, but obviously it wasn’t the appropriate moment.

Since then as I edge ever-closer to GW, I find myself being drawn to MO and super-MO people and I want to scream at the top of my lungs that there is a way out of that living hell.
It’s also complicated by the fact that I’m a healthcare professional so I see these guys day in and day out.

I’ve had SUCH a positive experience and my life and well-being have done a complete 180 that I feel almost as if I have a personal responsibility to let anyone and everyone know about WLS.

On 9/2/2019 at 12:55 PM, AZhiker said:

I feel the same way. But hardly anyone really wants to make the lifestyle changes. Before surgery, my grocery cart was filled with veggies and healthy foods. I really did not eat junk or processed foods. I was trying to make the positive changes - I just couldn't stop eating and ate from emotional origins.

But look at the carts from so many MO folks - soda, beer, chips, donuts, sugary cereals. Surgery is not going to fix that. My heart goes out to them, it truly does, but at some point folks have to start helping themselves by education, first of all. The saddest ones are the kids. LIttle fat kids who don't have a chance.

I started eating healthy a few years ago. Just discovered some food triggers on this journey! Fixed what I can, and working on the rest! I haven't shared the fact that I am having surgery with many people. I just don't want to hear all the horror stories, or be belittled for "failing" to do this on my own, and taking the "easy" way out! This past 6 months just getting TO the surgery has been no picnic! LOL And I know easy street doesn't start on 24 September! This is a life long commitment now!

I know people like the above. Complain about their weight, aches, pains, medical issues, all while pounding down a Big Mac and fries, snack cakes, candy, chips, etc! My tongue bleeds now, from biting it. I am going to need some real control later on! You can't help those who don't want it!

Sheri bear - sorry about your friend and hope the prognosis improves One of the few people I spoke WLS was a friend who gave me her too small clothes as she gained when I was at my largest I 100 percent know WLS would have saved her life. I never pushed and she supported my decision Different choices different paths. I am alive and she is not. Do not tell me obesity does not kill.

On 09/05/2019 at 05:54, Stella S said:

Sheri bear - sorry about your friend and hope the prognosis improves One of the few people I spoke WLS was a friend who gave me her too small clothes as she gained when I was at my largest I 100 percent know WLS would have saved her life. I never pushed and she supported my decision Different choices different paths. I am alive and she is not. Do not tell me obesity does not kill.

It’s heart-breaking, isn’t it?

My friend and her sister (who is just as SUPER-MO) live together, work together, and will most likely die together decades before they “should”.
Their mother died in her mid-60’s from complications of MO and during this spring when I could get to the CICU, I got to spend time with their father.
Poor man. He’s lost his wife to MO, and you can see in his eyes he knows there’s a better than even chance he will lost 1– if not both daughters- to MO.

Sadly I think it’s too late for my friend. She’ll more than likely never get that transplant bc she’s too far gone to even be a realistic candidate at this point.
As unbelievable as it seems, she’s noticeably put on even more weight since her 2-3 month stint in ICU.
It simultaneously makes me so relieved that I was able to find my way out of that horrible labyrinth, but terribly sad that she never made it through. Meanwhile I still have who knows how many more years to watch her slowly kill her self.
I hate it

And Sheribear68, just come to MY COUNTY, Knox County Ohio, We have so Many MO, even toddlers and Children, and I Also WISH I COULD EVANGELIZE them ALL, although as Green Tealael alluded Many of Them WOULD NOT ACCEPT the MESSAGE. Part of the Reason I really deserve my Pen Name for I can Cry in Frustration for Them All, many will Die Too Soon, Those who STILL Live will have a Much Sadder Existence- I KNOW Because for MANY YEARS I Too Was THERE and it is a Living Purgatory and I wish Each of THEM could find THEIR WAY to Freedom as I DID. I spent so Much Time, and at Half the Size I once was I have gone from MO to Overweight classification and I don't know if I could even make it down to a "Normal" BMI, at MY HEIGHT that would be 140 pounds, I am proud and grateful to be (Drum Roll Please!) 182.3 pounds this day, My First Surgiversity, haven't made it down to my GOAL- 175- but I CAN SEE IT SHINING FOR ME JUST AHEAD- and Please GOD,may it STILL Happen????

On 09/05/2019 at 10:23, Frustr8 said:

And Sheribear68, just come to MY COUNTY, Knox County Ohio, We have so Many MO, even toddlers and Children, and I Also WISH I COULD EVANGELIZE them ALL, although as Green Tealael alluded Many of Them WOULD NOT ACCEPT the MESSAGE. Part of the Reason I really deserve my Pen Name for I can Cry in Frustration for Them All, many will Die Too Soon, Those who STILL Live will have a Much Sadder Existence- I KNOW Because for MANY YEARS I Too Was THERE and it is a Living Purgatory and I wish Each of THEM could find THEIR WAY to Freedom as I DID. I spent so Much Time, and at Half the Size I once was I have gone from MO to Overweight classification and I don't know if I could even make it down to a "Normal" BMI, at MY HEIGHT that would be 140 pounds, I am proud and grateful to be (Drum Roll Please!) 182.3 pounds this day, My First Surgiversity, haven't made it down to my GOAL- 175- but I CAN SEE IT SHINING FOR ME JUST AHEAD- and Please GOD,may it STILL Happen????

CONGRATS on your first surgiversary and the weight you’ve lost! Hey you’ve now got years added on that you didn’t have pre-surgery so yes..... you’ve got sweet sweet time to get your goals in.

I live in Oklahoma, which is in the top 5 fattest states. It always discouraged me to see so many MO people around, and I felt like such a hypocrite being a health care professional.
Now that I’m almost “normal” BMI, (25.8–woo hoo) I feel even more of a responsibility as a FFF (former fat female) to let people know they don’t have to live trapped in this hell

Amen and Amen from a FFNF, Formerly Fat and Now Fantastic sister! May your Future Shine as Bright As Mine Has Become!???

@Sheribear68 Ouch! So sorry to hear about your friend!!! ((hugs)) TG you are escaping that fate with every day of your lifestyle change!!!

I know how you feel and can relate! And for anyone who is genuinely interested in hearing my journey and not just a rubbernecker, I will discuss the specifics. But for anyone else who looks at me, there is no doubt that I'm somewhat fanatical religious about making good choices--cuz like you, we have some big strikes we deal with.

But sadly, no one likes reformed smokers or reformed alcoholics. So we do just have to live our lives. And sometimes the best testimony is through action rather than words. Live your life hon. Let your friends feel safe, coming to you when or if they are ready. ((hugs))

On 9/2/2019 at 3:57 PM, Sheribear68 said:

I know, right?
Back a few years ago when I was in a running phase, I could run 3-5 miles at a time and even though it wasn’t pretty, I could do a 5 mile run in under an hour.
At that time I was “skinnier” at a weight in the 230’s.
Mostly I’d run on a treadmill at the gym, but from time to time I’d run in my neighborhood.
One time I was running outside and a really fit and trim lady was heading out to her mailbox.
It was a cul de sac and she waited for me to run past because she was actually cheering and gave me a “high five” as I labored past her.
I’m 100% certain her heart was in the right place, but it was humiliating to me.
I ran on until I got a couple of streets away and then broke into tears right there on the street and walked the rest of the way home. Don’t think I ran outside again for a few weeks after that

People run all of the time in my neighborhood and I’m willing to bet the skinny ones don’t get high fives from that lady. The pain and humiliation of that memory is what keeps my thoughts to myself.
I have told myself though that if anyone ever gives me an opening, I will share whatever health history of mine they want to know if I can just impact one single person to make this choice.

I was running when MO as well. At one point I had an older, trim woman say to me “good for you!”. It was a pat on the head, not on the back. To hell with that.

How condescending that must have felt, like you were a Old Female Dog and She was Coo-ing " GOOD GIRL" Grrr!

23 hours ago, Frustr8 said:

And Sheribear68, just come to MY COUNTY, Knox County Ohio, We have so Many MO, even toddlers and Children, and I Also WISH I COULD EVANGELIZE them ALL, although as Green Tealael alluded Many of Them WOULD NOT ACCEPT the MESSAGE. Part of the Reason I really deserve my Pen Name for I can Cry in Frustration for Them All, many will Die Too Soon, Those who STILL Live will have a Much Sadder Existence- I KNOW Because for MANY YEARS I Too Was THERE and it is a Living Purgatory and I wish Each of THEM could find THEIR WAY to Freedom as I DID. I spent so Much Time, and at Half the Size I once was I have gone from MO to Overweight classification and I don't know if I could even make it down to a "Normal" BMI, at MY HEIGHT that would be 140 pounds, I am proud and grateful to be (Drum Roll Please!) 182.3 pounds this day, My First Surgiversity, haven't made it down to my GOAL- 175- but I CAN SEE IT SHINING FOR ME JUST AHEAD- and Please GOD,may it STILL Happen????

Good news, Frustr8! At 5'8" normal weight starts at about 160, not 140!

On 09/05/2019 at 21:16, AngieBear said:

I was running when MO as well. At one point I had an older, trim woman say to me “good for you!”. It was a pat on the head, not on the back. To hell with that.

My thoughts exactly.

I feel like I should carry a sign around warning people “former fat chick, mess with me at your peril!”

I’m still going to have to curb my enthusiasm when I see MO patients, but dammit I just want to give them a big hug and explain there’s a way out. Yeah it takes hard work, but there’s a way out

On at , Sheribear68 said:

I know, right?

Back a few years ago when I was in a running phase, I could run 3-5 miles at a time and even though it wasn’t pretty, I could do a 5 mile run in under an hour.

At that time I was “skinnier” at a weight in the 230’s.

Mostly I’d run on a treadmill at the gym, but from time to time I’d run in my neighborhood.

One time I was running outside and a really fit and trim lady was heading out to her mailbox.

It was a cul de sac and she waited for me to run past because she was actually cheering and gave me a “high five” as I labored past her.

I’m 100% certain her heart was in the right place, but it was humiliating to me.

I ran on until I got a couple of streets away and then broke into tears right there on the street and walked the rest of the way home. Don’t think I ran outside again for a few weeks after that



People run all of the time in my neighborhood and I’m willing to bet the skinny ones don’t get high fives from that lady. The pain and humiliation of that memory is what keeps my thoughts to myself.

I have told myself though that if anyone ever gives me an opening, I will share whatever health history of mine they want to know if I can just impact one single person to make this choice.

Oh it cuts to the quick!! I hear ya. If our societies didn't place moral worth judgements on people because we struggle with obesity, I'm sure there are many many many more people who would seek proper medical help and we would be able to recommend it without the stigma.

On 09/03/2019 at 3:56 a.m., Krimsonbutterflies said:

I really hate seeing morbidly obese on my medical records, it just hurts me. When my GP recommended me to the Bariatric program last September, I cried and felt shame. However, I was crying out for help and my GP knew I had health issues due to my excess weight. I'm tall and my weight is pretty evenly proportioned, so ppl didnt know that I was 280. I cried uncontrollably and I have been on this journey since last September 17th, 2018. I'm 249 pounds now and having surgery (vsg) in January 2020, I get my date tomorrow. The Dr. wanted to perform the surgery in October or November, but I have to wait until January to assure I have enough paid time off on the books...I'm going to be working on my fitness routine and mental health, while I'm waiting. It will be here before I know it, time is going quickly.

You got this! Having that extra time to do head work will really pay off in the long run. And if you're evenly proportioned, please God you'll lose it proportionally as well ?

On 9/3/2019 at 11:55 AM, JessLess said:

Something to look forward to... I was looking at my online medical record though my medical system where it lists my medical issues and obese was one of them. I clicked on it and emailed them back that my BMI was 28 and they took it off.

Off-topic, but my docs said they will always keep "morbidly obese" on my record because it is historical and still puts me at a predisposition for "fat people health problems" later on in life. Sigh.

On-topic.... going to grocery stores and looking at everyone's carts sickens me. I want to be like NOOOO DON'T EAT THAT ****. Especially since my State has the highest rate of obesity in the US.