How to choose a realistic goal weight

[ValerieInMexico 162]

This sight has been such a help to me. I went through both of my other surgeries not having anyone to talk to. There is so much available now and this site is so helpful in setting up a plan for success.

I initially picked 160 as a goal because I just have not reached that weight for 25 years and it seemed like something I could achieve. Now, after reading about the success stories I think I should pick a weight that puts me in the normal BMI range. So, 145 would be more realistic. My other big goal is to not have a fatty liver. That really bugs me.

I felt my best at 135 which is where I was in high school and early 20s. I thought I should aim for 145 and see how I am. Have the liver test and see if it is healthy. If so, I would accept 145.

I am 62 and I know that I do not have a lot of wrinkles because of the extra volume in my face. My face is where I lose it first so I do not want to be a thin person. Just a healthy person.

So: How did you pick your goal? And, how do I edit my goal? Thanks!

[AngieBear 2,525]

I have been struggling with this. My surgeon and nutritionist haven’t mentioned anything, just that they are thrilled with my rate of loss. In my head I have it at 135, which would put me in the healthy BMI range. But, I’ve not really ever been that weight as an adult, so I’m having trouble visualizing it/wrapping my head around it. I think I just need to think in terms of smaller incremental goals. My next one is to be under 200. After that I’m in unchartered territory for adult weights, and have no idea what to expect.

[froufrou 678]

I've chosen 170 - It's not as low as I should be, but I think it's a good landing point and then I can assess what's going on from there. Just seems like a good attainable number. I'm going to have a lot of loose extra skin and I'm sure that weighs quite a bit! lol. That's my excuse anyway.

[Cheeseburgh 3,084]

I initially set mine for 140 which seemed realistic and yet so far to me, but it gave me something to shoot for. Around March I was beginning to wonder if I was being too ambitious because my weight loss slowed down to a crawl. I worked hard and hit 140 about 5 weeks ago then decided to aim lower. I’m 58 and I do think age is a factor for most of us when trying to lose, even after surgery. Please note, I am shorter than you and I weighed in the 140’s 10 years ago. We are all different.

My advice is to pick a realistic goal weight so when you reach it you will have a better grasp on how you feel, how active you are and your diet. You can always change your goal. Psychologically it would be tough for me to set a goal I might not reach. So many people lose a bunch of weight yet still feel like they failed. I believe hitting a goal boosts your confidence and morale, at least it did for me.

Best of luck to you.

Edited July 21, 2019 by Cheeseburgh

[ValerieInMexico 162]

Great feedback. I think I will pick somewhere in the middle of my ideal weight and my first goal, which is 10 pounds less that I have been in 30 years or so. Now I just have to learn how to edit!

[demayome 51]

I asked my Surgeon this question. His response surprised me. He said he doesn't care about the #'s. He says that your body can still be losing inches and not budge on the scale. He says He wants me to be in a healthy BMI. I thought this was interesting. I've only been morbidly obese for the last 21 years, after I had my children. Of course I want to put my goal at my lowest but I will be happy with the health benefits the most. I also heard another way to get over the stalls, is to take a piece of yarn and measure your waist every month and put it on a wall. That you can visually see the change with the inches measured than the # on the scale. I also plan on doing monthly body measurements. Between muscle gain, fat loss, Water weight our bodies can look differently on the scale than they truly appear.

[elcee 3,343]

I think it is important to aim for something in the healthy BMI range. That gives you quite a wide range to choose from. Personally I can’t see the point of putting yourself through surgery and then stopping at a weight that is still in the overweight or obese range.

But once you start losing and getting closer to your goal you can reassess. You will probably find yourself pleasantly surprised

[catwoman7 11,284]

I originally said 199 and they said no problem (after being 300+ for years, 199 sounded like a pipe dream!). When I got down to around 220, I told them I wanted to aim for 170-180. They said as long as I worked really hard at it, that should be do-able. Got down there no problem. Once I got there, I said I wanted to be a normal BMI, so I was aiming for 150. They told me that that was pretty unrealistic - only about 10% of their patients who started at my weight could achieve a normal BMI. They said my weight at the time (around 175 or so) was perfect for me. Ha! That was pretty much all the incentive I needed. I doubled down and got down to 150 - actually, below!

[FluffyChix 17,418]

I would honestly pick something smack in the middle of this normal chart for your height assuming you can get there given your medical history, medications, activity level, metabolism, etc. It's why I backed into mine and have 3 goals. I'm 3lbs from Goal #3 (130lbs).

My ideal weight is calculated by my doc to be 120lbs and represents a goal of 100% of EBW lost from surgery day. I doubt I would ever get to that weight and nor does she expect me to. Her goal for me was 160lbs. I'm 5'4" and 56 years old. Oh yeah, and the BMI chart works for me cuz I am just totes normal. Not extra muscle. Not extra athlete. Not big framed.

Edited July 22, 2019 by FluffyChix

[GradyCat 3,697]

I worked off the chart and thought "120" was a good number, but with my age (54) it just isn't realistic anymore and my cardiologist told me 140 was the right number.

[Briswife15 890]

I'm 5'3", and used the BMI chart to pick something in the middle of the healthy range for my height - 120 to 125. My doctor's goal for me is a little bit higher, at the very limit of healthy. Now, Im only 4 months out, so we'll have to see how it goes! [emoji4]

Sent from my SM-N960U using BariatricPal mobile app

[Cheeseburgh 3,084]

I personally think aiming for my high school/college weight (which would be the“ideal” weight) is ridiculous. I’m 58; almost 59, I’ve had 3 kids, quit smoking 20 years ago and had breast cancer. All 3 of those factors played into my weight gain in some fashion. I’m a Grandma now and my body is simply not the same as it was in the 70’s and 80’s, nor will it ever be.

I’m realistic and I’m fine with where I am. I’m at my low normal 40-50 year old weight. I honestly wasn’t sure I would even achieve where I am. I feel fortunate that I did and I don’t take it for granted. *my height is rounded up here, I’m 5’3.5”

Not everyone can achieve ideal weight ranges for a variety of reasons. Statistics show people who have surgery can expect to lose 60% of their excess weight, they aren’t failures.

I have no idea why this struck a nerve with me, but it did.

Edited July 22, 2019 by Cheeseburgh

[FluffyChix 17,418]

23 minutes ago, Cheeseburgh said:

I personally think aiming for my high school/college weight (which would be the“ideal” weight) is ridiculous. I’m 58; almost 59, I’ve had 3 kids, quit smoking 20 years ago and had breast cancer. All 3 of those factors played into my weight gain in some fashion. I’m a Grandma now and my body is simply not the same as it was in the 70’s and 80’s, nor will it ever be.

I’m realistic and I’m fine with where I am. I’m at my low normal 40-50 year old weight. I honestly wasn’t sure I would even achieve where I am. I feel fortunate that I did and I don’t take it for granted. *my height is rounded up here, I’m 5’3.5”

Not everyone can achieve ideal weight ranges for a variety of reasons. Statistics show people who have surgery can expect to lose 60% of their excess weight, they aren’t failures.

I have no idea why this struck a nerve with me, but it did.

Agreed.

No where did I say I was aiming for my ideal as defined by archaic insurance charts. But even if I did say I was personally aiming for it, it wouldn't make me wrong to try if I want to try, just as YOUR decision to remain at your perceived "ideal 50-60 year old weight" doesn't make you wrong. Whatever floats your boat, and I support that. My opinion about what weight stat OP should aim for would be somewhere in the middle of her normal range for height etc if she has a body type that fits the BMI model.

Edited July 22, 2019 by FluffyChix

[Cheeseburgh 3,084]

I wasn’t quoting anyone. I’m at a healthy/normal weight and BMI. Statistically it is very difficult for people to achieve a “normal” BMI especially if they have been overweight for most of their life. I just worry when people read about ideal weight they feel like maybe they failed if they don’t achieve that or if that is not their goal.

Those of us who achieve the normal weight range are outliers. It is a good thing to aspire to if someone wants to, but it isn’t possible for everyone.

[mousecat88 2,281]

My goal weight is the weight I knew I looked good at. It just happens to be at the very top of the normal BMI range (and depending on WHICH chart you happen to look at, 140 is actually a bit over into overweight on some). That is the last weight I recall ever once feeling OK with how I looked, if even for a brief moment in my long history of low self esteem. Not even looking at the BMI chart. If I go lower than 140, fine, whatever. If you want to go by any kind of chart, I would find out what a healthy fat percentage is, rather than a healthy BMI. That matters way more than the stupid BMI charts, imo. I would say anywhere from 25%-30% body fat seems to be considered average.

The first surgeon I saw said I *would* get to 125. I KNOW I would look sickly at 125. Like, for real. lol. Any smaller than 135 and I look like a bobblehead. The surgeon I went with expected me to get to 160, and 140 with exercise. I am sticking with that since that's where I *want* to be anyways.

Edited July 22, 2019 by mousecat88