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Venting my depression



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Im so depressed right now and im the most negative person on the planet.. i cant seem to get out of my rut. Im only 3 weeks postop and regreting every day about getting the sleeve. Im sick of pureeds and not being able to drink Water with my food. Life sucks right now and cant find anything positive to think about except looking up healthy Snacks and meals on pinterest ill make in a year from now... ive hit i guess its called the 3 week stall and have been the same weight for 5 days now.

My husband lost his job recently and have know idea whats going to happen now. Will we have to move in with one of our moms with 2 kids, 3 dogs, 3 cats and 2 turtles :( or sell and move to a different city after thinking this house was going to be our forever home. My husband has gone to interviews but nothings working out. Im assuming the worst like always and feel like i cant even be a good partner trying to hold him up with freaking out and dealing with my own negative funk.

I dont want to go do anything. I feel like the tvs been my sidekick and cant break the habit. Im so sick of making my kids yummy meals and my husband doesnt seem to eat unless i make him food. I made him meatloaf and a cheessy baked potato with veggys and my mouth was watering and also had tears on my face.

I just want to feel pretty and normal and dont know how. Sorry to vent it feels alittle better writing all that down for some reason.

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I'm sorry for how you're feeling. And for your husband's job loss. This post surgery journey is not easy. I'm almost a year out and I still feel sad and angry often because I can't turn to food for comfort like I used to. The only thing that makes it worth it for me is seeing the weight come off. That'll happen really soon for you. It won't alleviate all the icky feelings, but it does help. Sending you good vibes for everything to turn around for you quickly. Hang in there.

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You might want to consider some therapy to deal with those food feelings and what's going on in your life right now.

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just an idea, but you might try some exercise goals. Get a step tracker and start working up to 10,000 steps a day - gradually. Exercise releases happy mood endorphins, gives you a sense of accomplishment, empowerment, and control, builds lean muscle, and revs up the metabolism. It helps you sleep better, gives you time alone to think (if you walk), and helps with motivation in general. I found it to be extremely beneficial in my early weeks. Add some wall pushups. Each week you can up the steps, pushups, add some light weights, flights of stairs, etc. Exercise is a wonderful antidote for depression. It doesn't have to be a lot - just something. Then even if the scale doesn't change, you know you are still making progress toward goals and good health. Just something to consider.

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I am sorry that your husband lost his job, remember behind every no there is a yes. You will get over the pureed stage and will be eating other variations of food very soon. Remember why you had the surgery done. Be strong for your family especially the kids. My kids always know when I am sad. Stay positive for them. Talk it out with a therapist, especially if you had emotional issues with food before the surgery.

Wishing you and your family the best.

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18 hours ago, AZhiker said:

you might try some exercise goals. Get a step tracker and start working up to 10,000 steps a day - gradually. Exercise releases happy mood endorphins, gives you a sense of accomplishment, empowerment, and control, builds lean muscle, and revs up the metabolism

Agreed. Regular exercise makes you feel soooooooo much better all around.

Everyone and their mother has been saying it forever, and its' so true.

It's hard to start, but try. It's worth it. ♥️

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I'm so sorry for the job loss, I'm sure that is making life really hard now. You need some you time, even if it is a short walk with one of the dogs. As many have said this is a journey to save your life so you will be able to live a healthy life. Just take this a day at a time. As a former military wife, I never had a forever home and made each one special. You will get through this.

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Praying for you. I believe that your husband will find a job. Start speaking postive things. It will turn around.

Sent from my SM-G950U using BariatricPal mobile app

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Thank you everyone. Im looking into a fitbit or some kinda step counter i think that will help me with distracting myself with walking more. Im hoping everything else turns out for my husband and our family. Thanks again for everyones kind words.

Oh and some one mentioned going to therapy. I feel like i cant right now cause my therapist that ive had for years and i love she didnt want me to do the weight loss surgery so i feel like she would just be saying i told u so. So i will see if walking more can get my frustration out.

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Would Tai Chi help? Seems like the slow, yet smooth and controlled moves might also help.bI am considering it myself, better than Yoga with my degrees of stiffness. Down Dog would quickly turn into Beached 🐳 Whale. And I might take 3 men and a dog to change my position let alone stand me on my feet again! Ah, but we all have our own degrees of flexibility we brought to the mix.😞

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What you're feeling is so normal after surgery. Give yourself some time. Get out for short walks. Follow your doctor's directions. Definitely seek some therapy too. It is such a vital part of your post-op care! If you feel like you can't talk to your current therapist about what's going one, find a new one that you are comfortable talking to.

Sent from my moto z3 using BariatricPal mobile app

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On 6/24/2019 at 7:59 AM, Frustr8 said:

Would Tai Chi help?

So sorry for the job loss. I guess it's one of those "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger" kind of deals. Best of luck on that end.

Agree, that what you're feeling is normal after surgery and as tempted as I am to encourage counseling, that may not be in the financial cards for you considering your situation. BUT, I LOVED Frustr8's suggestion.

I had a bad experience with a psychologist early in my journey and was reluctant to go back. Suffice it to say, she only made me feel worse about myself and kind of angry. BUT, I started QiGong and Tai Chi just before surgery and it has made a huge difference in my life. Not only physically, but psychologically. I highly recommend it (and there are no floor exercises, so you don't have to worry about your Downward Facing Dog turning into a Beached Whale, LOL!)

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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