Hello everyone,

I had a great day today. I had my first surgical consultation and the doctor is amazingly nice. My husband went along and he became extremely supportive after hearing the surgeon's perspective. At the appointment she asked me what changed in 2018 that made me gain to my highest weight ever. I broke down crying and have been crying off and on since.

Did any of you experience this after your appointment? I am happy that I will be getting the surgery. I have a wonderful spouse and a good life. Why am I so emotional?

Maybe you haven’t dealt with whatever the event was. It might come up again in your psych consult. Consider therapy before the process, just to ensure you’ve faced all your skeletons

IDK, I do have to get a psych evaluation done. Scheduled for June already. My event was that my dog passed away and my husband was diagnosed with MS. We are fine with the MS, he is doing great. I am still morning my dog. But I do not think that is it. Maybe I am just relieved that I will be getting some help to get out of this fat suit I have worn my entire life. Who knows.

You've had two 10's under the stress ratings, I am happy your husband is doing great, but you need to get help with the stress of the diagnosis. Maybe they have a support group you can go to. I'm sorry to hear about your dog, we too lost one last year and every time you lose a pet it is a hardship. I'm hoping that the longer you live with your husband's diagnosis it will become easier. You can cry it is ok, and you can be excited about the future at the same time. Good luck with your journey and keep us posted. I have one more visit then will start on the final journey. I am scared and excited at the same time. I've been down this road before with the band. I can tell you losing the weight is wonderful. Keep your eye on the prize. We are here to support you.

Thank you for the kind words. I appreciate it. When will you be getting your surgery? Which one did you choose?

I have my final visit with the dietician in the middle of June. The last time I was in we talked about our moves in the military. She mentioned finding a different protein drink but that was all we talked about. I had a lap band put on in 2009 and went from 330 to 210 which is really good for a lap band, but as they do it failed. Now I'm working the program for a sleeve. I gained some of the weight back and now I need to get it off as my knees just can't take it. I know what to eat and how to work the program. I learned on my last journey that I was special so everything I put into my mouth had to be the Cadillac of food. If I wanted chocolate it had to be good dark chocolate and I would put a small piece in and suck it slowly until it melted and enjoy every savory bite. The first bite of food is the best after that it is just eating. You have been through a lot this past year and you need to care for yourself too. It is alright to feel sad and angry about it all, but it is alright too for you to take care of yourself, and become the person you want to be. Be kind to yourself. When life hands me more than I think I can handle, I say to myself that an elephant can only be eaten one spoonful at a time, just handle what is now and the other stuff later. We will get through this together. I'm having trouble being patient, as I know everything that they teach in the classes, but the insurance requires it. After this last class, they get the insurance approval then it is down the road. Right now I'm trying different protein drinks, the Ensure Max is alright and I have a few more to taste test. I hate cooking, blending and mashing. I'd rather just open a premade protein drink. Keep in touch, here I am just rambling on. Sandy

I appreciate your response and the information. I think I am going to do like you are and try some different protein drinks. We have this thin women inside of us trying to get out, we need to give those women the right fuel for the fight.