Always the "fat girl"

[gabybab 696]

Having been over 300 lbs the last 10 years I've always been the heaviest in a room.

Now that I'm 284 I'm closing in on not holding that title. I'm going to a function in the next 3 weeks and some have not seen me since I've lost 54 lbs. I'm hoping for 60 by then🤞

I really dont want the attention or people to ask me about it. I'm just not sure how to handle it without bring rude.

[Ohcinders 35]

Just simply tell them the truth -- you are watching what you eat and exercising!

[GradyCat 3,693]

Just brush it off "Have you lost weight?" "No, not that I know of" or just say you're dieting and exercising, which of course you are

[gabybab 696]

You guys are great! I appreciate the advice!

[FluffySaysForkIt! 823]

Hey, congratulations on the weight loss! That's awesome!

I actually have another perspective for you on this. I have previously lost 90 pounds at a time before (which put me at a pretty "normal" weight for several years) and then have run into people I had not seen in awhile at functions.

I, like you, anticipated that people might comment and was a little weirded out by the possible attention and questions. (I am pretty reserved in groups.) Guess what? Nobody said anything! Nada. Zip. Zilich. Even the people who I feel like I am pretty close to... people who I DO talk to on the regular. Friends.

So then I left feeling a little bad that no one "noticed". LOL! I had to remind myself that it didn't matter, that at least some noticed (no doubt) and were too jealous/uncomfortable to bring it up. Weight talk is tricky! Some people will be happy for you, but be afraid to say anything. Others may not be as happy for you as it brings up there own issues and so they also don't comment. Some just don't give a fig... etc.

On the other hand, you may get some comments and questions. Who knows?

Decide what/ if/ how much you care to say ahead of time so you have a clear plan and stick to it. If nothing else, I think most people like to talk about themselves, so say your pre-planned statement and then ask them something about themselves quickly with lots of follow up questions. 😉

Enjoy your upcoming function and your new found success! You deserve it! 🍸

[notmyname 592]

"Thanks. So how is/are [you kids/job/hobby/siblings/vacation/parents/whatever is important to them." It redirects the conversation to them and most people will answer questions about themselves rather than return to the previous topic. IF they do, just say thanks and continue to try to redirect. Eventually, most people will move off the topic.

That said, I flubbed this so badly one time I actually got an email apologizing for being too nosy. I just said it was OK and I'm clunky at taking compliments.

[gabybab 696]

28 minutes ago, notmyname said:

"Thanks. So how is/are [you kids/job/hobby/siblings/vacation/parents/whatever is important to them." It redirects the conversation to them and most people will answer questions about themselves rather than return to the previous topic. IF they do, just say thanks and continue to try to redirect. Eventually, most people will move off the topic.

That said, I flubbed this so badly one time I actually got an email apologizing for being too nosy. I just said it was OK and I'm clunky at taking compliments.

I was going through this in my head. I'm going to redirect, because I already expect the questions.

There is a lot of feelings that go along with this event.

I just hope they don't keep asking as I expect.

[NagathaChristie 95]

If they ask if and how you lost weight you could also say "Oh, I hope so! I have been trying to be healthier." Its really vague and may deflect the attention

[NYJenn 1,463]

People didn’t start saying anything to me until I had lost about 80 lbs (started at 288). Even then, sometimes they weren’t sure what was different about me

[gabybab 696]

5 minutes ago, NYJenn said:

People didn’t start saying anything to me until I had lost about 80 lbs (started at 288). Even then, sometimes they weren’t sure what was different about me

Unfortunately this person knows, by someone else. I just don't want intrusive questions and to be made to feel that I took the "easy" way out.

I was always thinner than this person and then gained weight. I feel like they were feeling superior to me. So, I'm just worried about an onslaught of questions.

I did this for health, not vanity. Hopefully no one will bring it up.

[summerset 5,261]

14 hours ago, Ohcinders said:

Just simply tell them the truth -- you are watching what you eat and exercising!

The half-truth.

[NagathaChristie 95]

Gabybab, you hit the nail on the head. I think that some people can feel Superior to us if they are thinner.

If they are pushy about you revealing your weight loss "secret" to them then you can be blunt and say you don't want to talk about it.