Co-Workers (bitchyness)

[Charlar 6]

Hey guys,
Can I ask what you told your co-workers as to why you were on a special diet or why/what surgery you were having?
You see where I work there are a couple of “bitchy” girls who like to analyse your lunch at the table and pass remarks on everything. For example I have my 17 stone self sitting at the lunch table with a salad and they’ll be like ‘is that all your eating?!’ Or if I get up and buy some chocolate from the vending machine they are like ‘good woman!!!’ It rattles me so much, they just love having me there at the fat girl!

To be honest I am dreading having to dodge their constant enquiries. I don’t owe them ANY excuses but I just know what I will be up against -_- ANY advice would be super appreciated :) thank you!

[Hop_Scotch 1,627]

A lot of people do not lead exciting lives (me included haha) so what other people are eating for lunch or dinner can be particularly interest lol.

Just because they ask questions doesn't mean you have to answer them.

Just smile and change the topic or just smile and say that's not up for discussion.

As you lose weight, it will probably get worse, again just just smile etc....It will drive them insane

Edited April 23, 2019 by Hop_Scotch

[Charlar 6]

On 04/23/2019 at 10:52, Hop_Scotch said:

A lot of people do not lead exciting lives (me included haha) so what other people are eating for lunch or dinner can be particularly interest lol.

Just because they ask questions doesn't mean you have to answer them.

Just smile and change the topic or just smile and say that's not up for discussion.

As you lose weight, it will probably get worse, again just just smile etc....It will drive them insane

Aha I know but it’s the comments they make along with it that can get to me, they aren’t asking out of interest or to say it looks good or ask for the recipe it’s more out of ridicule I feel :(
Thank you for the advice, I feel like smiling and changing the subject will be my only option but I feel like they won’t make it easy for me - it’s a silly thing to worry over but it’s amazing how it can impact your mood in work, thank you :-)

[MoBariatric 29]

Tell them you're dieting... And if they are persistent tell them it's a private medical situation and according to HR I can report you if necessary...

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[GradyCat 3,692]

I'd just say, "I'm on a diet" and leave it at that. I chose not to tell anyone about my surgery because I didn't want the smart-ass comments and judgmental glances.

[SusieQ2019 567]

I am sticking to just another new diet. They see me drinking my Protein Shakes and all. You don't owe anybody any explanation. People are nosy and like you said they are happy with you being the overweight friend. Well you know what you won't be anymore. Wear your weight loss accomplishment like a badge of honor.

Wishing you good luck.

[othella2 76]

On 4/23/2019 at 5:27 AM, Charlar said:

Hey guys,
Can I ask what you told your co-workers as to why you were on a special diet or why/what surgery you were having?
You see where I work there are a couple of “bitchy” girls who like to analyse your lunch at the table and pass remarks on everything. For example I have my 17 stone self sitting at the lunch table with a salad and they’ll be like ‘is that all your eating?!’ Or if I get up and buy some chocolate from the vending machine they are like ‘good woman!!!’ It rattles me so much, they just love having me there at the fat girl!

To be honest I am dreading having to dodge their constant enquiries. I don’t owe them ANY excuses but I just know what I will be up against ANY advice would be super appreciated thank you!

I work with all females and I get it, but once you kill them with kindness they will leave you alone. I was lucky and have been off for 6 weeks so my food would be normal so to speak when I go back this week. Sometimes when I don't want to answer the neverending questions I just eat lunch in my car for fresh air.

[Harborgurl 27]

I would ask them why they were so interested in my lunch.

[NYJenn 1,461]

Start taking a walk during your lunch. Gets you away from those trolls and avoids the “what are you eating for lunch” inquires

[mousecat88 2,279]

I told everyone in the world I was having surgery. Like even people who didn't notice I found a way to sneak it into a conversation. That got all of the questions out of the way pre-op and no one says a thing to me anymore except complimentary things about how much weight I am losing. It was just easier to let everyone know that I couldn't eat XYZ anymore than have people ask me until the end of time what diet I was on or what my secret was or why I wasn't having any bread or whatever. Plus, I think my experiences have encouraged others around me to diet and exercise more, etc, and even consider WLS themselves.

Edited April 30, 2019 by mousecat88

[cubyblue6 61]

I know it's nice to sit and chat while you eat but do you have to sit with them? Maybe they're not the kind of people you should surround yourself with if that's the way they're going to act. Do your thing and let them come to you.

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[sideeye 1,440]

Cultural quirks apply here, I think - not in their behavior, but in your response. Having spent a while in your neck of the woods, I’d just give them the flattest, most factual answer. “Is that all you’re eating?” “Yeah.” And “good woman” just merits a quick skeptical look, followed by a total boring change in subject.

Language games are more common in the UK so don’t give them ammo, just shut it down. Their comments are purely to get a reaction, so give them the most boring reaction possible. Eventually teasing you about it will be less fun that the effort is worth.

[cubyblue6 61]

If your office is anything like mine, to be honest regardless of what you say they're still going to talk about it when you're not there. So if you want to hang out with them just tell them you've decided you want to be healthy, you've decided to take care of yourself one step at a time. Because eventually as your losing weight they'll probably ask how you're doing it or what's your secret and you can say with pride and and internal snicker (because they dont know about the sugery) as part of your healthier lifestyle you've started working out. They'll respect the changes you're making and food won't be a topic anymore. Your workouts will be and with the progress you will be making there will be less snide remarks but if they escalate and poke more walk away, you dont deserve that.

Sent from my SM-G965U using BariatricPal mobile app

[Frustr8 7,886]

An old thought from Me- if you are committed to office success, you will do your work well, they will let you, and they will sit gossiping and making fun of you for caring to do a good job. Done many retail and office jobs, no matter what, there are goof- offs, their mouths in Overdrive. and their bodies in Park!

[jlinville69 14]

Do YOURSELF a favor-find a different table, change your lunch hour, put your headphones in...whatever removes you from the negativity, prying, gossiping, etc. so that you remain focused, positive, and ready for the greatness that’s coming! I was reminded this week myself that miserable people love company. That is definitely a clique you don’t want to join! Ignore them, don’t make eye contact, and only associate with them when you have to in order to get the work done. Eventually, they will leave you alone, but beware! When you’ve lost a whole other person, they will all want to be your “friend” by setting you up to fail (not everybody but maybe somebody’s). BE you, DO you, STAY you!