Spouse support

[hpete15 2]

Hi, I have a consult in the morning to set a surgery date. I was just curious how everyone who has had the surgery, what was their spouses reaction? Where they supportive? Was the new diet difficult for them to support?

[Poppyseed28 115]

My husband is very supportive of me having surgery. He has always asked about my appointments and what the next steps going forward. My surgery is March 29th and he is more nervous than I am.

[Orchids&Dragons 9,047]

My husband was very supportive of my surgery. However, when it came to changes in his eating habits to help make my challenges easier, not so much.

[GradyCat 3,697]

My husband was extremely supportive and understands that I can only eat certain things and in small portions. When we eat out we choose an entree to share because he knows I can't eat all of anything. He's not really trying to eat better himself, yet, but he's not trying to sabotage me.

[Bootscraper 56]

My boyfriend was supportive but also nervous. I asked him to come to one of the hospital support groups that focused on the role of family in this change. He got a little... defensive about how my changes would effect him. Since then it's gotten better, we talk about surgery as a concrete thing, since it's scheduled for 3 weeks from now. We both started eating low carb about 10 months ago, so it's just been a process. Don't take it too personally if the initial reaction is not what you hoped.. It's a major life change that will affect your spouse, and they have no control over your choice or the outcome.

[DanaC84 1,116]

My husband and family were and are extremely supportive. I’ll read a lot of posts on here that some people cleanse their house of junk food. I haven’t gone that route. My family doesn’t have a problem with food, I do. And I get the whole “if it’s not healthy for you, it’s not healthy for them”. But I have to choose my battles and I’m not sure they would be near as supportive if I forced my requirements on them.

[CurvyMom 386]

Supportive, yes. Willing to change HIS eating- eh not so much. But he does want to join a gym with me....so we are going to do that soon.

[Jobber 321]

This question is close to my heart since I went through a lot to get my wife on board with the surgery. Long story short, she couldn't be more on-board now, but just like most people who are not educated to the process of WLS, they are initially skeptical.

I never wanted to push this on her because I would not end up where I wanted to be in the end. I should elaborate; when I got to the point where I could check the boxes for all the "co-morbidities" associated with weight-loss surgery approval in the eyes of most insurance companies, I decided to talk to my doctor about it. I was very desperate to get off my medications and have not had much success with traditional dieting and exercise routines; nothing new for any of you, but this was the first time my doctor had ever suggested WLS for me. I started pursuing this idea by telling my wife what the Doctor said. Her verbal response did not convey a feeling either way, but her body language was quite negative.

I was excited at the prospect, but didn't want to convey it to her, since after 15 years of marriage, I knew she didn't like it, nor was she even remotely on-board. I basically told her that it's a 6 month process and that I wasn't really decided myself, (secretly I was decided) but I would still go through the whole process and decide near the end. After many nutrition appointments and meeting the different medical team members, she warmed to the idea by the last month.

I'm having my surgery very soon and we're both in a really good place.

Good Luck to you in your journey!

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

14 hours ago, hpete15 said:

curious

@hpete15

hmmmm, you l know they say about curiosity!!! 😉

my DH continues to be supportive from day one. Butttt after alllll these years, he doesn't want to change his eating ways. BTW - unfortunately he is obese. we used to go out to eat allll the time. Now i don't want to because i don't enjoy it that much. Rumor has it that Taco Bell is now going out of business. LOL - Tom will not eat what i do, but oh well - he is still loving and very proud and happy that he sees 105 lbs less of me!!😉

good luck on your consult and your pending date.

kathy

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

To any OP reading my post (if you're not reading, disregard!! LOL)

is your spouse/so heavy/obese? -(mine is)

inquiring/nosey minds want to know!!!!😉

kathy

[hpete15 2]

15 minutes ago, proudgrammy said:

To any OP reading my post (if you're not reading, disregard!! LOL)

is your spouse/so heavy/obese? -(mine is)

inquiring/nosey minds want to know!!!!😉

kathy

My husband is not obese or heavy. He is tall and trim. He has concerns about going out to eat, he feels that I’m taking that away from our family because I won’t be able to eat much. Other concerns too, but that one he has mentioned a couple times.

[Bootscraper 56]

My husband is not obese or heavy. He is tall and trim. He has concerns about going out to eat, he feels that I’m taking that away from our family because I won’t be able to eat much. Other concerns too, but that one he has mentioned a couple times.

Something I thought of with this, you can still go out with your family, just eat the portion that works for you. Why is he concerned with the amount you eat if the real worry is taking away 'family time', as long as you can still go out? I guess it seems like he would be concerned that you aren't enjoying yourself, but isn't the point of going out with your family...is to be with the family, not food?

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

stop stop stop

decided to make a new thread with this subject