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Talking to Patients About Expectations



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29 minutes ago, summerset said:

Very interesting read.

The problem may be having unrealistic expectations in life altogether I think.

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Thanks for this, it was interesting. I'm scheduled for surgery on April 11th and I've noticed that my surgeon/nurse team has not discussed calculating realistic weight expectations post surgery. I have a few more appointments before I go under so I'm going to bring this up.

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Yep - my doc consistently told me that the average weight loss is 60% EWL and that if I follow the plan, that's what I could expect. On another thread where people were discussing their goal weights - I said that this was mine and that I don't want to set myself up to feel like a failure. I'm pretty appreciative that my doc is conservative in his estimates. And some other WLS patients on these boards were kind of jerks about it. Saying that by setting of goal of average I was assuming I'd fail and still be obese and why was I even doing it. Even though I'm about 10 lbs from the 60% EWL at 4 months out, so likely to exceed that, I'm still thankful for my doc setting expectation. I'd rather under-promise and over-deliver. Because I know that if I did only achieve the average weight loss, and I'd expected/hoped for more, I would feel like a failure. And that would be very bad for my mental state. Plus, I had to judge whether or not to have surgery based on the most conservative outcomes - would I still be glad I went through it if I was still slightly obese? Yep - because I will still have lost a significant amount of weight that I couldn't have lost without this tool. And, overall, it will make me more healthy, even if I don't get to a "healthy" weight.

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I am currently 3 lbs. shy of being just "overweight". A long way from where I would like to be, but also a long way from being morbidly obese. I am very determined to keep going, but even if I didn't lose another pound this surgery would have been worth it. Being 50lbs. overweight is WAY different than being 100lbs. overweight, and far healthier, even if it isn't ideal.

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20 hours ago, GreenTealael said:

The problem may be having unrealistic expectations in life altogether I think.

Interesting thought. Could very well be.

However, a lot of people seem to have very unrealistic beliefs/expectations/etc. about diet, food, weight loss etc. even though they seem to be standing with both feet on their ground in other areas of life.

Sometimes it seems that some part of the brain just shuts down when it comes to the topic of "weight".

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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