To tell or not to tell?

[Reducingraven 12]

I just started my 6 month journey to get the sleeve. I was wondering if everyone tells people that they got surgery when it happens, or that you are expecting to. It feels shameful kind of and I know for a fact that everyone around me thinks it's the easy way out but they don't know that I've been struggling for 10 years with PCOS and Hypothyroidism and that the weight just won't come off. I'm really nervous about telling but I also want to be transparent about my journey. What did you guys do?

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[Healthy_life 1,437]

6 minutes ago, ladywhalephant said:

I just started my 6 month journey to get the sleeve. I was wondering if everyone tells people that they got surgery when it happens, or that you are expecting to. It feels shameful kind of and I know for a fact that everyone around me thinks it's the easy way out but they don't know that I've been struggling for 10 years with PCOS and Hypothyroidism and that the weight just won't come off. I'm really nervous about telling but I also want to be transparent about my journey. What did you guys do?

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Disclose your surgery to whoever you want. If you want to post, blog, youtube or instagram for others to follow, that's great. You will find some people will be supportive and other negative about WLS. Don't waste your time educating others if they are not open to the information.

Realistically it's hard to keep it a secret. You can't hide rapid weight loss. People will automatically suspect surgery. It's none of their business. You can truthfully say, I work hard at this. Logging food, eating healthy, and exercise.

Personally, I don't feel the need to be the spokesperson for bariatrics. I told family and friends that were supportive.

[MistyRS 9]

I only told who I trusted like my husband, mother and sister. I didn’t even tell my job. I started the process 10/18 and by 12/07/18 I was having surgery. I had a weeks vacation left so I took it the week of surgery and went back to work the next week. I am down 30lbs and really not many people have noticed and I have now told a select few a week. In the end, it’s your body and you tell who you want! By no means is it the easy way out! You still have to watch your food intake and still fight the mental part of wanting to eat when your truly not hungry! I have PCOS so I know your issues when it comes to that as well! I still find some days are a struggle with eating.
Good Luck

[GradyCat 3,697]

Only my husband knows. I'm not telling anybody. I don't want the judgment and the constant sizing me up each time they see me wondering if I'm progressing or screwing up.

[Diana_in_Philly 1,426]

My husband, my two daughters (teen agers) and my best friend. That was it. Didn't tell my work, my mother or my sister. Told work I needed to have surgery and would be out for a few days. When my diet changed after surgery, I told people it was doctor's orders. When people have asked how I have lost 150 pounds I say

I eat 120 grams of Protein a day. I do not eat anything with added sugar. I do not eat white flour or regularly eat bread. I limit my carbs to about 100 g per day on days when I work out otherwise, 70 grams. I drink almost a gallon of Water and work out for a minimum of 1 hour a day.

All of that is true. It is how I have kept 150 pounds off for 2 years now. It is your body and your choice. If you were having a GYN procedure, would you tell people?

[Ed_NW 684]

I say before the surgery, nobody outside of your close circle needs to know. After the surgery when the weight starts to fall off, you can share the details with people in your life that might be struggling with weight. People in your life that won't benefit from your story don't need to know.

[GreenTealael 25,622]

I only told two medical proxies...

Tell as many or as few as you desire

but

keep I'm mind you can unring a bell that's been rung. Once you invite the spectacle, it will be hard (not impossible) to suddenly tell people it's none of your business

Safe Journey 🎈

[BayougirlMrsS 3,939]

looking back i wish i had not told a soul.... grant you it was in 2009, people were much more judgmental back then. People looked and acted like you just sold your soul to the devil or something. Tell was one of my biggest regrets.

[FancyChristine15 810]

You should only tell who you're comfortable telling. I told everyone at work. My family. My close friends. I waited a little longer to tell my grandma, because I didn't want her to worry, but I did tell her before I had the surgery.

[S@ssen@ch 745]

when I had surgery, I kept it very private. My husband knew. I told 2 or 3 of my best friends and I told my boss. I didn't tell my children. I didn't tell my parents or any of my extended family. No one. I can understand the shame thing, but for me it was more that I wanted this journey to be my private journey. I wanted to do it "my way".

I have since told several other people and I haven't gotten any flack or felt like I was being judged. I only recently told my youngest son because he was starting to ask questions about my health, thinking I was majorly ill or something. I still have not told my parents or extended family and don't plan to.

Choose how you travel along this journey in a way that is best for you. But, as someone said above, you can't un-ring a bell.

[CyndieRI 251]

I’m an open person so I have told everyone. Plus I don’t have a good enough memory to remember who I’ve told and who I haven’t! Lol! Sometimes I even tell the servers at restaurants when I’m only ordering a Soup - or sharing a meal with my husband. I’ve had nothing but positive feedback. But definitely it’s a personal choice who you want to tell and when you want to tell them.

[Jazzy1125 1,010]

i told my children, my work ( its a small business only 17 employees) once one knows the rest knows lol.. and my best friend. SInce i have told one or 2 ppl but for the most part no. Not even my family in another state knows, but now that we are having a family reunion. I am super excited to just show up. I have forever been known as the fat cousin.. wait till they see me in June LOL.

[Syrina 13]

I told my close friends, immediate family, and several of my coworkers. And my supervisor. My job is super awesome and I feel safe sharing stuff like that.

On the other hand, aside from mom, dad, and my brother, oh and 1 cousin, no one in my extended family knows. We're just not that close. I'll tell them when they visit in May, mostly because it'll be pretty obvious by then lol. I only told my one cousin because she lost a bunch of weight on weight Watchers and understands the struggle and that this isn't the easy way out, it's just a different kind of tool.

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