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Advice for a supportive yet high anxiety spouse

mzliz731

By mzliz731, in Duodenal Switch Surgery Forum

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mzliz731    6

mzliz731
Posted

Any advice on how calm my husband's anxiety? My DS (revision from rny 2012) is already scheduled for early Monday Jan 7. He didn't show any sign's of anxiety until literally last night. Tossed and turned leaving both of us restless. He didn't have any anxiety the first time around for me. And it is too late for any dr visit for prescription meds. I think he tried to hold out as much as possible thinking his feelings would pass. But as the day gets nearer it got to be much.I've tried to reassure him I am in great hands and I am doing everything I need to do to prepare preop. He understands I'm doing this (again) for my health, but since there is more risk involved, he can't help but feel overwhelmed. He's worried about the procedure, my recovery in the hospital and at home. My mother has taken time off from work to stay with us at home and help as well as be with me in my hospital stay.

I am naturally nervous and excited, but at this point I'm more worried about him than my own nervousness!! I need some encouraging words for hubby.

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Orchids&Dragons    9,047

Orchids&Dragons
Posted

My hubby is also the Nervous Nelly of our house. Remind yours that you've both been through this type of surgery before. Try to get him to focus on the future, not the present. What the two of you will be doing in a year, in 5 years, in 10 years. How does that future look without the surgery? Best of luck with your surgery!

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mzliz731    6

mzliz731
Posted



My hubby is also the Nervous Nelly of our house. Remind yours that you've both been through this type of surgery before. Try to get him to focus on the future, not the present. What the two of you will be doing in a year, in 5 years, in 10 years. How does that future look without the surgery? Best of luck with your surgery!


Thank you for your words of advice. I will certainly talk with him so we can look at the situation from those points!!

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Frustr8    7,886

Frustr8
Posted

And may tomorrow dawn bright and beautiful for you, may YOUR surgery be successful and may YOUR future be all you desire! Update us on your story as it unfolds, please?

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mzliz731    6

mzliz731
Posted

And may tomorrow dawn bright and beautiful for you, may YOUR surgery be successful and may YOUR future be all you desire! Update us on your story as it unfolds, please?
Thank you very much!!. I will keep you all posted!!

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MarinaGirl    609

MarinaGirl
Posted

Hope you’re doing well post-op and that your husband’s worries were for nothing. Welcome to the losing side!

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mzliz731    6

mzliz731
Posted

Hope you’re doing well post-op and that your husband’s worries were for nothing. Welcome to the losing side!
I'm doing well thank you. Had a 4 day stay and still quite sore but happy to be home in my own space. Hubbies anxiety quickly faded after seeing me in recovery. Went straight to caretaker mode. I'm also grateful to my mother for being there the whole time with him/us then and now for emotional support. I can't wait to see my work in progress!!


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Go To Topic Listing Duodenal Switch Surgery Forum

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    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

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