Well. It happened. Someone (online) said to me "seems like dieting and exercising would have just been easier" in response to a convo I was having with other bypass/vsg patients. I wrote this long snarky reply along the lines of "WOW! I never considered that once in the 10 years I've been super morbidly obese and struggling with eating disorders since I was a child! You could have saved me SO much time and money!" etc etc. And then started explaining energy expenditure rates between bypass patients and dieters. But then I deleted it. UGH. WTF do people truly think? That we just wake up one day and decide, without ever attempting to lose weight via other means, that you just jump into the OR and have 95% of your stomach chopped off? I mean WTF. Sorry, but it is so hard to bite my tongue, but I did. And I am proud of myself for not engaging. lol. Not something I do regularly.

My mother was like this, too, pre-op. She just hammered that I never *really* tried and that if I stuck to a diet for years I would *eventually* lose the weight, albeit being completely and utterly miserable and at-risk for rebound weight gain exponentially higher than WLS patients, etc. You all know the stats. BUT, I did argue back and forth with her. She never supported it, but is really my only family and pretends to be supportive now. When I have problems she blows them way out of proportion, but generally has cooled her jets about the whole thing. She tries.

Do you guys ever engage with the "why didn't you just diet and exercise" people? Or just roll your eyes so far in the back of your head they get stuck there for a while? Sometimes I feel like I want to educate, but I also know it's a lost cause.

Edited December 27, 20187 yr by mousecat88

Well. It happened. Someone (online) said to me "seems like dieting and exercising would have just been easier" in response to a convo I was having with other bypass/vsg patients. I wrote this long snarky reply along the lines of "WOW! I never considered that once in the 10 years I've been super morbidly obese and struggling with eating disorders since I was a child! You could have saved me SO much time and money!" etc etc. And then started explaining energy expenditure rates between bypass patients and dieters. But then I deleted it. UGH. WTF do people truly think? That we just wake up one day and decide, without ever attempting to lose weight via other means, that you just jump into the OR and have 95% of your stomach chopped off? I mean WTF. Sorry, but it is so hard to bite my tongue, but I did. And I am proud of myself for not engaging. lol. Not something I do regularly.
My mother was like this, too, pre-op. She just hammered that I never *really* tried and that if I stuck to a diet for years I would *eventually* lose the weight, albeit being completely and utterly miserable and at-risk for rebound weight gain exponentially higher than WLS patients, etc. You all know the stats. BUT, I did argue back and forth with her. She never supported it, but is really my only family and pretends to be supportive now. When I have problems she blows them way out of proportion, but generally has cooled her jets about the whole thing. She tries.
Do you guys ever engage with the "why didn't you just diet and exercise" people? Or just roll your eyes so far in the back of your head they get stuck there for a while? Sometimes I feel like I want to educate, but I also know it's a lost cause.

I like the metaphoric saying "Never wrestle with a pig. You just get dirty and the pig enjoys it". IMHO ppl who want education would research the topic. Foolish ppl who make such blank statements abt dieting and exercising are usually "know it all" and do it for attention. Never argue with a fool. Onlookers might not be able to see the difference.

Weight loss seems to be such a controversial subject. People are overly opinionated. I'm not and I don't want to be the spokesman for bariatrics. I don't feel the need to educate anyone on WLS. They can do their own research.

Don't invest time in negative people. Keep life simple.

I didn't tell anyone except my husband and mom for this very reason, and I have never discussed dieting with others. People get evangelical about keto or Paleo or vegan or whatever they happen to be into. The best diet is the one that you can stick to, the one that works for your personality, tastes, lifestyle and body chemistry, and there is no one-size-fits-all.

I have been wanting WLS for years but my husband always would say “just stop eating so much and you’ll lose weight!” DUH!! And like a fool, I put it off for years. This time I had all my pre-op testing and had a surgery date before I told him! He again tried to persuade me to NOT have the surgery - but I did it on 10/10/18 and I feel great! He eventually got on board (he didn’t have a choice) and he has been supportive now!

Unless the person is someone close to me and I can tell they really were sincere and meant well with the statement, I don't engage. In my case, I'm a food addict - it's like telling an alcoholic to just stop drinking. No ? Sherlock ?

1 hour ago, Healthy_life said:

Don't invest time in negative people. Keep life simple.

This is how I feel. I understand the want to educate others—but I don't waste my time on trying to educate those who clearly don't want to listen. If people genuinely have questions and are willing to hear what I have to say, of course I don't mind giving them information. But for those who have already written it off, I just ignore it. Why waste the time and energy?

Yeah, so love all the responses above!!!

When I decided on this, I chose to keep it pretty private. Why? Cuz I decided that I am NOT nor do I have to be the poster child for the advancement of WLS. The good news is I don't have to educate people on "WHY" this surgery is lifesaving and why obesity is now classified as a disease and why diet and exercise is a myth. It's so freeing!

And besides...you can't argue with crazy. hehehe (but I think someone already said that brilliantly!)

Edited December 27, 20187 yr by FluffyChix

4 hours ago, mousecat88 said:

Well. It happened. Someone (online) said to me "seems like dieting and exercising would have just been easier" in response to a convo I was having with other bypass/vsg patients. I wrote this long snarky reply along the lines of "WOW! I never considered that once in the 10 years I've been super morbidly obese and struggling with eating disorders since I was a child! You could have saved me SO much time and money!" etc etc. And then started explaining energy expenditure rates between bypass patients and dieters. But then I deleted it. UGH. WTF do people truly think? That we just wake up one day and decide, without ever attempting to lose weight via other means, that you just jump into the OR and have 95% of your stomach chopped off? I mean WTF. Sorry, but it is so hard to bite my tongue, but I did. And I am proud of myself for not engaging. lol. Not something I do regularly.

My mother was like this, too, pre-op. She just hammered that I never *really* tried and that if I stuck to a diet for years I would *eventually* lose the weight, albeit being completely and utterly miserable and at-risk for rebound weight gain exponentially higher than WLS patients, etc. You all know the stats. BUT, I did argue back and forth with her. She never supported it, but is really my only family and pretends to be supportive now. When I have problems she blows them way out of proportion, but generally has cooled her jets about the whole thing. She tries.

Do you guys ever engage with the "why didn't you just diet and exercise" people? Or just roll your eyes so far in the back of your head they get stuck there for a while? Sometimes I feel like I want to educate, but I also know it's a lost cause.

Something similar happened to me on Christmas. My mom actually had vsg on thanksgiving and I had mine on the 20th of this month. She got it because she has degenerative bone disease in her hips down to her toes so there's a lot of work outs she actually can't physically do so that holds her back.I got mine because I have worked with a trainer did the diets and could only ever loose 50lbs and would get stuck no matter what I did. I was at my dad's on Christmas and he said something and I laughed really hard and obviously it hurts since I was only 5 days post op and I held my stomach and said ow and my brother was like "You chose to have the surgery you have no right to complain you could have just gone back to your personal trainer." Oh yeah cause that worked so well the 3 years I trained with him. People are just ignorant.

31 minutes ago, zombieskayer said:

I was only 5 days post op and I held my stomach and said ow and my brother was like "You chose to have the surgery you have no right to complain you could have just gone back to your personal trainer." Oh yeah cause that worked so well the 3 years I trained with him. People are just ignorant.

Oh geeze! I would have slapped him with the Christmas ham. Must be easy living a life with no problems in it whatsoever. ?

1 minute ago, mousecat88 said:

Oh geeze! I would have slapped him with the Christmas ham. Must be easy living a life with no problems in it whatsoever. ?

It's because he's 6'3" Skinny AF and eats whatever his heart wants so he thinks it's easy.

Just now, zombieskayer said:

It's because he's 6'3" Skinny AF and eats whatever his heart wants so he thinks it's easy.

Even before I considered WLS, thin "friends" that can literally eat garbage 24/7 would always tell me "calories in, calories out" and "you just need to exercise more", etc etc, as if I didn't KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ALREADY ABOUT NUTRITION. Thanks, Ms. Perfect, for the advice. Kill me now. lol.

The people that annoy me are the ones that think losing weight should be easy but they can’t kick their cigarette habit. And they don’t see the irony!

Both my parents are thin and never gain weight at all -they eat whatever they want. My mom will plow through a 12 pack of soda and about 3 boxes of cookies on top of 3 meals a day in a day or 2. For years my mom kept telling me she was able to maintain her weight because she is ',active'. I don't know what activity she was talking about exactly - going to work?. Upon retiring she hasn't been 'active' at all (she doesn't exercise unless i drag her along for a walk)- so finally after 50 years my mom is just like - I have a good metabolism.

My parents are supportive.

I was just so happy to have my mom recognize that it is easy for her to maintain her weight than it has been for me. Even if that sounds petty.

It's definitely not an easy option most people go through months of tests and evaluations before even getting a surgery date!