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Ryan Iam so happy to hear Patty has gotten relief

My husband is suffering badly right now, as you know he has battled chronic back pain due to a herniated discs. He was doing great until last week when we had to put our dog to sleep and he lifted her ( rottweiller) to and from the car and into the vets office, his back has been out for a week now and we go tomorrow to see his pain doc..I can relate..seeing the person we love in pain is very difficult, it weighs heavy on my heart but more so on his because he feels like such a failure as a father & husband, I do my best to keep him upbeat. Hang in there Ryan and know we are all pulling for both you and Patti. You are a great man!

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Michelle - I know how much pain he is in, and believe me it hurts. I was down for 7 months with a herniated disc, I couldn't walk, sit or go to the restroom by myself or anything. It was the most miserable time of my life. It's extra bad because you have to depend on everyone to do everything for you, and when you can't do anything you start really feeling depressed.

They have a lot of new treatments now out for that problem. In fact here in Dallas they have a place that advertises they can stop the pain without surgery. I don't know exactly what they do, but any kind of relief you can get is great! It might be worth checking into.

My thoughts and prayers are with both of you, I know it is hard on you too. Anytime a person is sick, it affects the whole family.

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Ryan, so glad that everything is going better than you expected. I know you're exhausted, but hopefully having Patty home, and her feeling more relief, will help lessen your load there.

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I hope everything is continuing to improve ! Hope you are taking care of your self Ryan. Eating good and getting some rest will help you both! Continuing the prayers your way!!

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I belatedly discovered this thread. Ryan, I'm so happy to learn that Patty got immediate relief from her pain. I hope your drive home is safe and comfortable, and that your wife not only stays free of pain but begins a true recovery. Know that we all are wishing/praying for both of you.

When you come up for air, please tell us how you're doing with your band, if you haven't already posted someplace else.

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Ryan, I am so glad that Patty finally has some relief!!!!! Now, you be sure to to give yourself a little TLC, too. Patty needs you and so do we!!!! ((((Ryan and Patty))))

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Dear Ryan -

I, too, am coming belatedly to this thread, but am so grateful that all has gone well with the procedure and that you are on your way to bringing her home, even though that means taxing the last of your sleepless strength.

I wish Patty quick and uneventful healing, and I wish you a little bit of space to recouperate yourself - as bad as needing help is, being the care-giver is just as draining as it is rewarding, as you carry the load of three - your own, hers, and the care-giver's. I know you wouldn't have it any other way, but there is no denying that there are days when the thought of laying down that load, even for a few blessed minutes, is beyond seductive. During those times we are here for you, cheering you on, marveling at your strength and breadth of heart, intoxicated by your words and emotions, laughing with you, and crying with you.

We love you, and we love Patty, because surely she must be an extraordinary being to have earned the love of a man like you.

(((Ryan)))

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So the procedure was done. I drove home, only to find that she was to be released the next day. Couldn't get an early start Tuesday as I had to go to the bank to get cash for the trip. Called Patty's room at 8:00Am to let her know that I was on the way. No answer. Hmmmmm. Called back at 8:15, no answer. Small catch of breath. Called back at 8:30 and that's when the fertilizer impacted the ventilator.

The phone was answered by a woman with a very foriegn voice. She was very cryptic. "Hello?"

"Yes, I'd like to speak to Patty Webster, please."

"Yes, this is Patty's room."

"Could I speak to her please?"

"No, we're speaking to her"

"What about? I am her husband, you can tell me."

"About whether or not she goes home today"

"Why? I understood she was to be released today?"

"She took a fall. I'm a doctor. Call back in two hours."

"You dont' understand. I'm 300 miles away. Is she okay?"

"We don't know. Call back in two hours to see if she is going home today."

"But it takes me five hours to get there. Let me talk to my wife."

"NO."

hangs up.

I call the nurse's desk, yes Patty fell. Yes she's okay, but they must decide if it's safe to send her home. She might fall again there. Call back in two hours and we'll tell you if she's to be released today or not, was my answer.

I waited the two hours. I called back. I was told she would be kept for all of Tuesday and observed. Then she would be released Wednesday AM. Early to bed, up at 1:00AM Wednesday. On the road at 2:00. Arrive in Cleveland at hospital at 6:20 AM. Made good time, eh?

6:30, enter Patty's room. She's not there, but I hear sounds in the bathroom. Patty's roomate is talking to a doctor. They make rounds early there, last time Patty was released, packed and ready to roll at 7:30.

9:00AM, a physical therapist comes to Patty's room for assessment. The PT who looks all of twelve, recommends Patty be released from the hospital directly to a nursing home until she can walk better. Patty's response (which I love) "When you guys do your job, and get me off all this friggin' morphine, I'll walk steadier. Why should I go to a nursing home when you're not doing your job?"

9:15 AM: A doctor Iskander comes in. Neither Patty nor I have seen him before. "You need to go to a nursing home." he states flatly in barely reconized English. Patty refuses. "I can't send you home. Your husband here has to go to work tomorrow. You can't be alone for at least 24 hours." I inform him that my weekends are Wednesday and Thursday. I'll be with her for more than 24. He says "Oh, okay, she can go home. I'll get started on it"

11:00 AM Dr. Iskander enters, waves goodbye "You can go home as soon as I write some scripts and the discharge papers, and unhook your pump."

11:05 AM we contact Case Manager so Patty can get the travel pump for her catheter to send her home on. We have the return shipping carton all ready to send it back Thursday. We are told that Dr. Iskander doesn't want her to go home with a pump. Odd. The pharmacy has already called us and told us it was ready and they would come hook it up as soon as Patty was released.

12:00 Noon. Asked where the discharge papers et al were. Case Manager said Dr. Iskander hadn't done them yet.

1:00 PM. Asked about discharge. Dr. Iskander hadn't done the discharge yet.

2:00PM asked about discharge. Told that they were keeping Patty another night as the Home Health Care in Michigan thought that with our five hour drive we would be getting there too late for the nurse on call to hook her up.

I snapped. Just a little. Asked a couple questions: Isn't the Home Health Care a 24 hour operation? Answer: Yes. How can we get home to late for a 24/7 business to take care of us? Is there a twenty fifth hour?

3:00 PM. Spoke by phone with Home Health Care Pharmacy. Made arrangements for MOther in Law to recieve meds and sign for them. Still no DR. Iskander.

4:00 PM STill no release, still no Dr. Iskander.

4:15 PM. I go to Case Manager. This is what I say: "Patty was officially told she was released from here over five hours ago. We're leaving at 5:00. We'll leave without your permission. We'll leave without the scripts, we'll leave without the discharge instructions, and I will personally remove the infusion pump with my rusty jacknife and let your precious medicine drip on the floor. If you try to stop us, and you haven't filed incompetentcy on my wife, I'll formally charge you with attempted kidnapping. Am I clear enough?"

The case manager agreed we had been treated horribly.

4:50PM. Dr. Iskander came in. "Did I make the deadline?"

"Interesting word, DEADLINE" was my answer. He unhooked her, offered his hand for me to shake. Hmpf.

We arrived home after we went to the emergency room. The five hour trip with absolutely nothing for pain was too much for my wife. The on call nurse met us at 10:30 PM, and was only slightly ungracious about the lateness.

Today Patty sleeps. She's a little better. I've butted heads with everyone in the Medical Profession. I'm tired. I just got off the phone with the lawyer.

And the only thing this has to do with the lapband is that I can't get enough comfort food in me to self medicate this feeling. Thank God for the band, and you all. Right now you great people and the band are the only things that don't make me bitter.

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OMG - truly, Ryan, I have no idea how you keep sane.

So glad you are both home now, safe and sound. May things only get better from here on out...

(((Ryan)))

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What a horrible story, Ryan. It's truly a shame that so many medical workers, from receptionists to doctors, don't understand how hard it is for patients and their families during an emergency, and that people are not just cases to be signed in and out at the hospital's convenience.

I hope you both can get some much-needed rest. You can vent here anytime.

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What a nightmare! I am glad you are home now, and Patty is feeling better. Hopefully now you can get on with your lives. My prayers are with you and your wife. Try to get some rest now.

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