Do you ever get frustrated with band babies?

[losingjusme 12]

I read the board for a couple of months before I ever made a post. I knew I was making a decision about putting an object inside my body and I wanted to know anything and everything I could find out about it, before I did it.

i think the problem is that people dont WANT to do the research and they dont want to read "long" threads for the answers. they would rather just post a question and have people reply directly to them. ie - there is a fairly long body bugg thread going on in the exercise forum. it answers probably 95% of questions. someone started a new thread because they didnt want to read through the entire long thread ... ?????!!!!

...... Now it's just getting harder and harder to read the new posts.

i agree completely. there are weeks i dont even go to the intro section and sometimes even the support thread for a few days. i just cant handle the "i just got banned (sic) and ate prime rib for dinner and i keep throwing up, but that's ok cause i forced it down" type threads...

[enterprise01 0]

My favorite: What's a PB?

[TamifromAL 1]

The one that bugs me the most kinda relates to the situation I posted about at the top of this thread. I just don't understand when someone is so tight that they can barely eat, yet they go for a fill because they're hungry between meals. Ummm...duh. You get hungry when you don't eat solid foods!

As a very wise bandster (Jachut) once said, "we cannot rely on our bands to be so tight that we simply cannot eat very much. You just have to leave enough space to eat real food and call in some self control, sensibility and willpower to use the band wisely, its the biggest (and most difficult) lesson we all have to learn. Its a tool, not a total fix (dammit)."

Tami

[TamifromAL 1]

btw - you have done SO amazing! i wish you'd post here more often!

Thanks! I do like this site, because it seems like there are more experienced bandsters here than at OH, but I like the way they have the profile/blogging/pics set up over there. I'll try to get over here more often!

Tami

[Daisalana 33]

Well while these are valid points, I have to point out..

Before I got the surgery, I read how the pain was minimal. I've not given childbirth, so couldn't compare.. but I have a high threshold for pain. I wasn't expecting too much pain after surgery, just soreness.

But when I woke up, it was EXCRUCIATING. I have broken bones before that didn't hurt that bad. So, for some of us the pain is bad. I don't know what the difference is, maybe my surgeon does the crap I see them do in Big Medicine, where they 'play' with the body to explain something to someone else. But I had sharp sharp pains and having to sit up or roll over, etc. made me cry out in pain.

[enterprise01 0]

Well while these are valid points, I have to point out..

Before I got the surgery, I read how the pain was minimal. I've not given childbirth, so couldn't compare.. but I have a high threshold for pain. I wasn't expecting too much pain after surgery, just soreness.

But when I woke up, it was EXCRUCIATING. I have broken bones before that didn't hurt that bad. So, for some of us the pain is bad....

Got to agree with you on that. I've had over a dozen surgeries and none was as painful as the lapband. Not even close. I did a ton of research and spent a lot of time on this site just reading everything I could. Most bandsters only take a couple of days off work and many fly back home from Mexico the next day. When that's what you read from 99% of the people who have had this surgery, you're not really prepared if your experience is completely different.

But the people who don't even learn the basics before getting the band can be annoying. It's particularly frustrating when they blame the band for "not working" when it's their own ignorance that's the real problem.

[Wheetsin 714]

I *do* tell people that eventually they are going to PB and they are going to slime. So many people fear barfing and I don't want them thinking it isn't ever gonna happen. I don't want someone thinking they can be extra careful and never get anything stuck. The only way to know which foods are tolerated is trial and error. But overall I totally agree with you Wheetsin.

Yeah, we agree here -- PBing is one of the areas where we can say, with relative safety, that it's going to happen. HOW it happens - varies greatly, but I can't think of a single long-term bandster, who has sufficient restriction, that has never had a PB. And I agree that it is important to move people beyond that fear. Hoenstly, if PBing weren't an issue with WLS, or if I would've understood more aout it, I would've had my band done a lot sooner.

[mariecarmen 1]

My surgeon's office holds a monthly maintenance support group and we met last night.

Many discussed the frustration of attending the regular meetings because of all the seemingly foolish questions from prebanded and newly banded patients. They felt they didn't have a firm enough understanding of what changes were needed for success with the band. The facilitator assured us the program has expanded their educational classes and all patients are fully informed prior to surgery.

Maybe they just want to hear it from people who have "walked the walk?"

Maybe here, on an anonymous forum, they can ask the niggly little thoughts that haunt them. Maybe they want a little attention and reassurance.

Let's face it, we all managed to eat ourselves into WLS criteria. We all have some demons whispering in our ears.

When I see silly (to me) questions or comments, I scroll on by or try and answer briefly.

[wsb 0]

I have a hard time with this thread because we have all been "babies" at one time, in fact, I am still a "baby". I know it gets annoying, because some of it is common sense stuff, but the "the old timers" have the wisdom that is needed...our bodies are changing each day and it is scary at times, even with education...I can't count the hours of research that I did, the annoying questions that I have asked...it is your wisdom that is valuable...yes, babies and small children make mistakes each day, that is why we love them, nuture them, forgive them and try to lead and teach them. That is part of the deal...if you don't want to help, don't, but why degrade the "babies" because they are not as educated as you are yet? What does it accomplish? I understand the frustration with the "babies", but you were once a "baby" also. Don't mean to stir up a bunch of feelings here, but this was kind of hurtful for me to think that some of the support system that I value had this attitude because I don't have the experience you have. I can read and educate myself all day, but expereince is the best teacher...and a lot of people learn from other's expereiences, I know I do...I expect negative reponses to this, and that is okay, but I just had to express my disappointment...what happened to there is never a dumb question? We are talking about people's lives and health here, and their feelings...my apologies for my feelings about this, and I know to expect a lot of negative feedback about this...but I had to get it out. I read it several days ago, and it has been on my mind ever since.

[TamifromAL 1]

Wanda, I personally don't have a problem with honest questions from *anyone*, band baby or not. But, it seems like there are an awful lot of posters who want to justify poor choices, even when they *know* better. They want someone to tell them they can have their cake and eat it, too.

I appreciate people who come to the message boards before surgery to find out as much as they can. I lack respect for the ones who get the surgery 'cause the doc told 'em to, but never bothered to find out how the band will impact their lives, or how their eating habits will have to change in order to be successful.

I'm glad you had a chance to vent, and I hope you appreciate the fact that once in a while us "oldbies" deserve a chance to vent, too.

Tami

[Oregondaisy 2,020]

I agree with Tami. We don't mind questions as long as they aren't questions about going against their doctor's post op diet and eating right after surgery after being told they need to heal.

I get tired of people answering what a PB when they can go to

definitions and what they mean which is right on the main page.

[S@ssen@ch 745]

I can't think of a single long-term bandster, who has sufficient restriction, that has never had a PB.

Wheetsin, I was banded 4/4/05. I have had various stages of fill from none to up to 2.8cc in a 4cc band (which was very tight for me, I slimed a couple of times and ultimately experienced such reflux that I had to be unfilled). Other than vomiting related to stomach viruses and gall bladder attacks........I HAVE NEVER PB'd. I don't think it has anything to do with being "extra careful" or my various fill levels. To be honest, I just think I've been very lucky. I know there have been times that I didn't chew very well or ate too quickly. I have no food restrictions. The only thing unusual, is that Dr. C told me that the surgeon who placed my band placed it a little higher than he would have. Just FYI.

As far as "band babies", I think it's great when anybody asks questions intended to elicit information about banding and banded life. An informed bandster is much more apt to be a successful bandster. Hopefully, they have done their homework BEFORE they've been banded then things don't come as much of a surprise.

I do however, have trouble with questions meant to justify behavior that is unbecoming a healthy bandster. When someone has deviated from his/her doctor's advice, for whatever reason, and they come here searching for advice......I really have to tie my fingers and look the other way. :censored:

[JDUB0414 0]

wsb, I totally agree with what your saying. I actually clicked on section, Life After, because I wanted to know what it feels like to be at goal and living a life we are all waiting for. To find this this thread...it kind of took me for suprise. I've been reading and not posting so much since I started my process in May. I've researched and read all I think that I can about getting a Lapband, but that's just like having a baby...you can read everything about pregnancy and having a baby, but it will probably be different from what you've read. Talking to people about experiences is the greatest thing...it gives you hope. I'm a teacher, a high school teacher at that, so it's hard for me to get frustrated at people when they ask me the same question, or what I fell may be a simple minded questions. I learned a long time ago, that people may just not know what's going on, so they have to ask quesitons to get that information needed. There is no such thing as a silly question.

I agree with people following the rules of their doctors, but, we all have been told by our PCP at some point in our overweight lives, that we should eat heathy, and exercise, so we can loose weight and feel better. Did we do this??? Probably not since we have gotten the band or will be getting the band. We all make mistakes...it's about fighting an addiction also.

[marybrid19 0]

how quickly we forget where we come from,, that's what's wrong with society... we are so quick to forget compassion.. yes i hurt.. i was not in discomfort,,,I HURT !!!! yes i stumbled and made mistakes and i didn't have the family support that some have and so i turned here to only later read this post to only be criticized for reaching out with "stupid questions" ... not everyone who has this surgery has it to lose a few pounds.. some have this surgery to save their lives !!! some have this surgery knowing their loved ones are only going to look down on them...

since when is being scared and wanting to learn being dramatic?.... just having this outlet to come and share and learn from others has helped turmoil and soothed fears for some....

just because you feel like you are now a veteran in the war on obesity and have now mastered the lap-band doesn't mean you are immune and invincible from what you may call... "stupid and dramatic moments"

as stated from above "IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU"

[losingjusme 12]

come back to this thread when you have been here for a year and have seen the posts about the following 1,000 times:

1 what is PB

2 what is a ticker and how do i get one

3 i just had surgery 1 day ago, but ate _____ (insert any solid food here), is it OK?

1&2 have both been answered MANY times here. in fact, there is a sticky thread for these type questions

3 sorry, if you are going to not follow your surgeons instructions and eat cause "you are STARVING" ... you are not looking for support, you are looking for justification.

whats so wrong with asking newbies to actually READ and learn from past posts than ask something that has actually just been asked and is still on the front page of the sub forum?