Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Do You? You know use that word!



Do you use the "N" word?  

4 members have voted

  1. 1. Do you use the "N" word?

    • No, NEVER!!
      196
    • Yes, but in the past!
      28
    • Yes, what's wrong with saying it...
      30
    • OMG! I don't want to answer this..How dare you!!
      11


Recommended Posts

For His sake, look beyond what is in front of you. Think of things in a different way than how they are usually presented. Many people in my town stay on government assistance all their lives and throughout generations JUST because they believe the government owes them something.

Technically if one wants to become whatever they want in life they DO have to do an interniship for specific careers. So therefore they are forced into it, so your argument doesnt hold up on technicalities.

And I didnt ask if the pencil incident was the same thing as calling someone the "n" word, I asked if it could be considered racism based upon the facts presented in the previous argument.

Oh, I thought you said specific families of slaves had been reimbursed. No, I beg to differ about the internship. You absolutely do not have to do the internship unless you choose a specific career. Yes, then you have to go through the proper training to obtain your goal. This is hardly the same thing as being a slave with no rights. To answer your question re: the pencil, no, it would not be considered racism, and, I would venture to say, it would not be considered out of line by a black person either.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, let me tell you, if you don't care about people it's going to be a real, real long and unfulfilling life for you. It's really irrelevant why you are cold and heartless. You owe it to your baby and yourself to make an effort not to be. You might try counselling..whatever it takes to turn you around because thinking like a victim is completely self destructive plus it will negatively affect your child emotionally.

I do go to therapy. It made me stop thinking so much about other people, and start focusing on me and what's best for me. Why should I care if some stranger gets their feelings hurt? How will it negatively affect my child emotionally? Because I dont run up and randomly hug strangers or people I barely know and I dont censor myself to people I dont even care about. Strangers dont care about me, why should I care about them? Why care about people you dont even know exist? Why not focus on bettering yourself and becoming who YOU want to be, and not what others want you to be. I tried for years to be who everyone WANTED me to be, since I started focusing on myself my grades are up, I have a passion for life, and I take chances. Before I wouldnt make a move if I thought that anyone would dissapprove. Im a better person now that I dont care about other people. I guess you just gotta have the self-confidence not to let other people bother you or hinder you. My life has been 100x more fulfilled than before I started focusing on me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh, I thought you said specific families of slaves had been reimbursed. No, I beg to differ about the internship. You absolutely do not have to do the internship unless you choose a specific career. Yes, then you have to go through the proper training to obtain your goal. This is hardly the same thing as being a slave with no rights. To answer your question re: the pencil, no, it would not be considered racism, and, I would venture to say, it would not be considered out of line by a black person either.

Last time I checked an intern has no rights in the company but to learn. Im making a comparison for today's America. And if the pencil issue isnt racism, then why on earth is the history of a word?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I do go to therapy. It made me stop thinking so much about other people, and start focusing on me and what's best for me. Why should I care if some stranger gets their feelings hurt? How will it negatively affect my child emotionally? Because I dont run up and randomly hug strangers or people I barely know and I dont censor myself to people I dont even care about. Strangers dont care about me, why should I care about them? Why care about people you dont even know exist? Why not focus on bettering yourself and becoming who YOU want to be, and not what others want you to be. I tried for years to be who everyone WANTED me to be, since I started focusing on myself my grades are up, I have a passion for life, and I take chances. Before I wouldnt make a move if I thought that anyone would dissapprove. Im a better person now that I dont care about other people. I guess you just gotta have the self-confidence not to let other people bother you or hinder you. My life has been 100x more fulfilled than before I started focusing on me.

You are putting words in my mouth. Of course, you need to focus on yourself. I never said you should try to do what others think you should and/or try to please them. I'm talking being cruel to someone. Remember the subject of this thread? If you don't know why you should consider other people's feelings, whether you know them or not, by this juncture in your life, I certainly can't get that across to you in a message on a lap band board. Your way of thinking has nothing to do with self-confidence. It's insecurity to the max.

P.S. I don't remember saying you should go up and hug strangers.........

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

An internship nowhere near compares to slavery, and it's an insult to pretend it does. In an internship, you can't be physically assaulted. You can't be raped. You can't be verbally abused. You don't sacrifice any and all rights to your children or your belongings to your employer. You can't be SOLD, for Pete's sake.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

An internship nowhere near compares to slavery, and it's an insult to pretend it does. In an internship, you can't be physically assaulted. You can't be raped. You can't be verbally abused. You don't sacrifice any and all rights to your children or your belongings to your employer. You can't be SOLD, for Pete's sake.

NEVER judge what CANT happen...rather what is unlikely or illegal. I never meant to say that internship=slavery....I was providing a picture to the definition of slavery given in a previous post, thats all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

NEVER judge what CANT happen...rather what is unlikely or illegal. I never meant to say that internship=slavery....I was providing a picture to the definition of slavery given in a previous post, thats all.

oh, good lord. if someone is FORCING you to be an intern against your will, which is an outlandish idea, (i.e. holding you somewhere you don't want to be) have 'em arrested because this is not what an internship is. again, we're talking free choice here. no matter how you want to word it, your analogy totally lacks credence.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You are putting words in my mouth. Of course, you need to focus on yourself. I never said you should try to do what others think you should and/or try to please them. I'm talking being cruel to someone. Remember the subject of this thread? If you don't know why you should consider other people's feelings, whether you know them or not, by this juncture in your life, I certainly can't get that across to you in a message on a lap band board. Your way of thinking has nothing to do with self-confidence. It's insecurity to the max.

P.S. I don't remember saying you should go up and hug strangers.........

Im not cruel, at all. Im quite peachy upon meeting anyone for the first time...but if I dont like you, then I wont pretend that I do. What difference in life does it make if some stranger gets their feelings hurt because they are overly-sensitive and havent learned to adapt to the jungle that our society is. I wish it were more primitive in that, the weak get the oust to some island for the non-survivors of society. If your going to go around getting your feelings hurt by the people in society that are going to FEED off your pain, and give them what you want, then you gotta go. Im not insecure about anything. I tell people how it is. If I was insecure I would care that you disagree with me, I would care about the people who still call me fat, I would care about the people who want to judge me for my current predictament. I dont care, whatever they think, they can think, I have my own opinions about them as well. Not everyone is going to like you, so why not give them a reason not to? Im just trying to get across the point that I dont care about other people that I dont even know...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

oh, good lord. if someone is FORCING you to be an intern against your will, which is an outlandish idea, (i.e. holding you somewhere you don't want to be) have 'em arrested because this is not what an internship is. again, we're talking free choice here. no matter how you want to word it, your analogy totally lacks credence.

I was making a point that it IS possible to be abused, harassed, raped, etc at an internship or at a job....that it CAN happen. And you just gave the simplified definition of false imprisonment. I DONT WANT to do my internship for free, I want to get paid. LIKE I SAID, Im not saying that an internship=slavery, Im giving a mental picture according to the previous description of slavery given.

Weren't any of you on the debate team, ever been to a debate, watched a debate, participated in a debate, or anything of that matter?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

NEVER judge what CANT happen...rather what is unlikely or illegal. I never meant to say that internship=slavery....I was providing a picture to the definition of slavery given in a previous post, thats all.
And slavery was LEGAL when it occured, and all that happened with it was also LEGAL. There is absolutely no comparison between slavery and an internship. First of all, interns are willing workers. They may not be getting paid in money (some are, though), but they are paid in experience and networking contacts. Secondly, forcing someone to work agains their will or be assaulted physically, sexually, or mentally in an internship is illegal. Third, an intern can leave whenever he/she wants to leave. The employer can't take out a warrant on them or call them a "runaway intern." Absolutely no comparisons between the two practices.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And slavery was LEGAL when it occured, and all that happened with it was also LEGAL. There is absolutely no comparison between slavery and an internship. First of all, interns are willing workers. They may not be getting paid in money (some are, though), but they are paid in experience and networking contacts. Secondly, forcing someone to work agains their will or be assaulted physically, sexually, or mentally in an internship is illegal. Third, an intern can leave whenever he/she wants to leave. The employer can't take out a warrant on them or call them a "runaway intern." Absolutely no comparisons between the two practices.

Oh but there is according to the definition a few pages back. Im not talking about what was legal then, Im talking about what is legal NOW. You said those things "Can't" happen. When they can, whether it is or isnt legal actually. Those things can happen.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Im not cruel, at all. Im quite peachy upon meeting anyone for the first time...but if I dont like you, then I wont pretend that I do. What difference in life does it make if some stranger gets their feelings hurt because they are overly-sensitive and havent learned to adapt to the jungle that our society is. I wish it were more primitive in that, the weak get the oust to some island for the non-survivors of society. If your going to go around getting your feelings hurt by the people in society that are going to FEED off your pain, and give them what you want, then you gotta go. Im not insecure about anything. I tell people how it is. If I was insecure I would care that you disagree with me, I would care about the people who still call me fat, I would care about the people who want to judge me for my current predictament. I dont care, whatever they think, they can think, I have my own opinions about them as well. Not everyone is going to like you, so why not give them a reason not to? Im just trying to get across the point that I dont care about other people that I dont even know...

Well, you're the one who said you were cold and heartless. I'm just going by what you say; it's not my conclusion of you. Like you said, we don't know each other. Again, if you don't know why human kindness is important, I can't begin to explain it to you. This is something one usually learns from birth on. If you didn't, it's near impossible for you to get it. Not all people who you don't know want to judge you. In fact, I would venture to say, most don't care. I guess I'm thinking you're insecure not only because of your posts here but your relationship with the baby's father. If he was abusing you the way you say he was, if you thought as much about yourself as you say you do, you would have hightailed it out of there the first time he forced you to have unprotected sex. There's no way you can have good self-esteem and endure what you did in that relationship. From your own words, it was an absolute horror story; no matter how you want to justify staying, you had complete control over your actions and you CHOSE not to leave. Because if you held yourself in high regard, nothing would have kept you there. Nothing. See..you're not a victim in this situation. You are an accomplice since you didn't do anything about it. It's just as much your fault as it is his if you want to place blame.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am getting old. Refresh my memory ...what things happen? If you're saying illegall things happen, of course, they do. That's why we have law enforcement...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, you're the one who said you were cold and heartless. I'm just going by what you say; it's not my conclusion of you. Like you said, we don't know each other. Again, if you don't know why human kindness is important, I can't begin to explain it to you. This is something one usually learns from birth on. If you didn't, it's near impossible for you to get it. Not all people who you don't know want to judge you. In fact, I would venture to say, most don't care. I guess I'm thinking you're insecure not only because of your posts here but your relationship with the baby's father. If he was abusing you the way you say he was, if you thought as much about yourself as you say you do, you would have hightailed it out of there the first time he forced you to have unprotected sex. There's no way you can have good self-esteem and endure what you did in that relationship. From your own words, it was an absolute horror story; no matter how you want to justify staying, you had complete control over your actions and you CHOSE not to leave. Because if you held yourself in high regard, nothing would have kept you there. Nothing. See..you're not a victim in this situation. You are an accomplice since you didn't do anything about it. It's just as much your fault as it is his if you want to place blame.

So you wanted me to leave my own apartment? Because he sure wasnt. And whens the last time you woke up with a full grown man choking the life out of you. You wouldnt want to risk calling the police either. I couldnt just leave...where would I have gone? I should have done something sooner than I did, but regardless my self-confidence is normal. Coming from a small town, everyone judges everyone else, its entertainment when there is none.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×