I’m scared

[diabladepaz 42]

On track to get sleeved in January. I have days where I’m super excited, and other days where I feel so scared. What did you do to push past your fear? How did you truly know you were ready? I’m told by my PCP and Bariatric office that I’m a great candidate. My husband is supportive. But I’m so scared of the “what ifs” with both surgery and life after. I’m so glad this forum exists so I can read your experiences and share mine.

[FutureRN19 18]

Hi! I am scheduled for surgery on this coming Monday August 27th. I keep waiting to be terrified or super nervous but I have been cool as a cucumber during the majority of this journey. I started the process for my approval in October of last year and was originally scheduled for July 27th. I ended up having to reschedule due to financial issues but it's worked out for the best.

I will say that I was the most nervous at my initial doctors appointment because I wasn't sure if it would be something I could do. Am I too young? (just turned 22) Too light? (250 at 5'5'') Can I deal with the radical lifestyle changes including no alcohol for 1 year+? To help with this, I made a list of questions that were most important to me and had my surgeon and nutritionist answer them all. I also came here and to Obesity Help and just started going through all of the forums. Good, bad and ugly I wanted to know EVERYTHING. I think that looking up horror stories and worst case scenarios helped calm me since they were the exceptions and not the rule. I also took stock of my own personal situation and realized that I am in pretty good shape so the odds that I will have a major complication are slim. I don't know your health history but it might help to compare yourself to some of the "worse off" people on these forums. Some started at well over 500 lbs and have been able to successfully lose and keep the weight off so the odds are definitely in your favor. Further, I fully intend on being 100% compliant and happily tell my surgeon that if I die its because he killed me (ER life has given me a morbid sense of humor).

Maybe it'd help to make a running list of pros and cons in a journal over the coming months. Anything good and bad related to having the surgery should be written down and compared. And if you make it to December and cons outweigh the pros, you can always reschedule. Surgeons and thus surgery will always be there as an option so don't rush into it if it isn't the right time for you.

Sorry for the long post but I'm at work and this is one of few unblocked sites lol.

[apositivelife4me 189]

7 hours ago, diabladepaz said:

On track to get sleeved in January. I have days where I’m super excited, and other days where I feel so scared. What did you do to push past your fear? How did you truly know you were ready? I’m told by my PCP and Bariatric office that I’m a great candidate. My husband is supportive. But I’m so scared of the “what ifs” with both surgery and life after. I’m so glad this forum exists so I can read your experiences and share mine.

Well you have 5 months to think about it.

[James Marusek 5,244]

It is common to be nervous prior to surgery. So here are a few suggestions to get your mind off the surgery.

1. Take a good before photograph of yourself, so that you have something to compare to after surgery. Many times we are blind to our obesity. We do not see ourselves. Therefore when the weight begins to drop off rather dramatically, we question if this is really happening. Photographs are a good visualization of our success. Many people carry a before and after photo with them, just to remind themselves of their success. I have included my 6 month post-op comparison photograph as an example.

2. Walk 30 minutes each day, every day until surgery (or equivalent exercise). Walking helps the recovery process go smoothly and minimized the pain levels from surgery.

3. Wean yourself from caffeine and carbonated beverages now. After I gave up my 6 diet coke a day habit, I suffered from a week of severe withdrawal syndrome consisting of severe headaches and body aches. I was miserable. You don't want to combine the effects of caffeine withdrawal with the effects of surgery.

[Matt Z 4,140]

7 hours ago, diabladepaz said:

On track to get sleeved in January. I have days where I’m super excited, and other days where I feel so scared. What did you do to push past your fear? How did you truly know you were ready? I’m told by my PCP and Bariatric office that I’m a great candidate. My husband is supportive. But I’m so scared of the “what ifs” with both surgery and life after. I’m so glad this forum exists so I can read your experiences and share mine.

If you left all "what ifs" dictate your life, where would you be right now? Would you ever drive because "what if" you get into an accident? "what if" someone is drunk driving right now? Would you eat, I mean, "what if" you get food poising? "what if" you aren't good enough? "what if" a plane crashes on your head?

Fear is normal. It's natural. Letting it consume you however is not.
So, what if.
What if you don't get the surgery? Where along the lines will your knees give out or your heart fail or your cholesterol get too high and you end up with a clogged artery or you have a stroke due or aneurysm due to high blood pressure?

Focus on the reasons why you want the surgery. Yes there is a risk, but it's no where near as great as it used to be, and the statistics are slightly skewed because of the older types of surgery tainting the numbers.

Just remember your reasons for wanting the surgery.

[diabladepaz 42]

Thank you, everyone, for your thoughtful responses. I read them and mulled them over and your words made me feel a lot better!

[Frustr8 7,886]

For me it pretty much was a realization. I fear surgery with all its ramifications far less than continuing to just exist, one step away from bedfast, obese, in pain that only increased day by day, watching my friends die, even the ones I thought looked healthy, hardly able to breath under much stress, unable to move fast enough to elude a burglar, robber or rapist, seeing the Death Angel lurking not too far in the distance. Being told your good life is over, might as well die. Oh I was so bull-headed, thought I could beat weight on my own. it had to be a loud wake-up call to reach me. I had been taught if something's not broke,don't try to fix it! Well I was pretty well broke, ready to grasp at a straw, and Bariatrics was that straw. Oh people told me I was old, foolish and silly for trying but I didn't want to sit in a rocker and die. And it has been a struggle, but I found strength within to endure, and it has been ROUGH but on September 5th 2018 at 7 AM EDT I will receive the surgery I started seeking 3 years ago this month. And as soon as I can lose enough to jump up and down I am going to be my BIGGEST CHEERLEADER, I will be the Litttle Engine That Could and I'll be pulled into the Grand Central Station of Health. If I can one more year of Health, good, if I survive longer, wonderful, but I will have loved myself enough to have given this 🎁 present of a greater life! So watch me if you like, join me if you can, GOOD TIMES ARE AHEAD.

[LaRein 20]

On 8/21/2018 at 8:31 AM, James Marusek said:

It is common to be nervous prior to surgery. So here are a few suggestions to get your mind off the surgery.

1. Take a good before photograph of yourself, so that you have something to compare to after surgery. Many times we are blind to our obesity. We do not see ourselves. Therefore when the weight begins to drop off rather dramatically, we question if this is really happening. Photographs are a good visualization of our success. Many people carry a before and after photo with them, just to remind themselves of their success. I have included my 6 month post-op comparison photograph as an example.

2. Walk 30 minutes each day, every day until surgery (or equivalent exercise). Walking helps the recovery process go smoothly and minimized the pain levels from surgery.

3. Wean yourself from caffeine and carbonated beverages now. After I gave up my 6 diet coke a day habit, I suffered from a week of severe withdrawal syndrome consisting of severe headaches and body aches. I was miserable. You don't want to combine the effects of caffeine withdrawal with the effects of surgery.

Great advice!

[LaRein 20]

On 8/21/2018 at 1:04 AM, diabladepaz said:

On track to get sleeved in January. I have days where I’m super excited, and other days where I feel so scared. What did you do to push past your fear? How did you truly know you were ready? I’m told by my PCP and Bariatric office that I’m a great candidate. My husband is supportive. But I’m so scared of the “what ifs” with both surgery and life after. I’m so glad this forum exists so I can read your experiences and share mine.

If there are resources for you to get therapy use it! It is also very mentally challenging when you spend your entire life with different habits. I thought just eating right and exersize was enough after surgery , but if you don't know how & why you eat unhealthy to get this bad its harder to stick with plan. Just what I am experiencing 1 year out.