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Why am I depressed?



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My surgery date is 12/17.... I go next week for all of my pre-op appts. and start my one month of liquid diet the following Monday. I am down for some reason. I have been eating whatever I want... almost like saying goodbye... and of course I have to start my liquid stuff the week of Thanksgiving.... for so many years that holiday, as all holidays, revolve around food....

1. parade

2. food

3. nap

I know I am making the right decision.. but right now feel really depressed about it..... and when I think about it I get even more upset with myself.. how selfish... I am going to get healthy.. wow... and there are people fighting with insurance companies and just can't have the surgery and I am down about not eating Thanksgiving.... wow.....

:faint:

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What you are feeling is very, very normal. For most of us here, food has been our best friend and worst enemy. It is scary and sad to say goodbye. Recently I went through a very stressful time at work and completely lost track of being a bandster. I could actually say out loud that I wanted and needed the food and was SO frustrated that I could not eat exactly what I wanted. I cannnot tell you how many times I was sick in the last couple of months trying desperately to eat too much or the wrong things. Thanks goodness for the band because I only gained 8 lbs and not 80!

I know now that I need a little more psychological support and I am looking for that from my clinic and fellow bandsters. I may even try some therapy.

Don't be scared off - what you are doing is giving yourself the best gift in the world. Holidays will come and go, but you may not be here for future ones if you won't take control of your health now. Understand and embrace your sadness and depression and then you will be ready to let it go for a more positive outlook.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Susan

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Been there, done that. What you're feeling is oh so normal. You wouldn't be human if you weren't having a ferris wheel of emotions. It's excitement, fear, anxiety, etc. all rolled into one.

I remember being in the hospital, IV in arm...ready to go in - and said "What am I doing to myself!?"

What I did for myself was: drop about 4 sizes, lowered my blood pressure, lowered my blood sugars, dropped off alot of medications, and put myself in a great frame of mind. I am definately a work in progress; but I wake up now, feeling so good about my decision.

Best of luck.

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It sounds like you may be 'mourning' the loss of food as you have known it in your life up til now, and that's normal for a lot of people. Hang in there! Look for support all around you, professional and otherwise. Good luck!:)

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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