Bad News First

“Do you you want the good news first or the bad news first?”

My weight loss surgery journey is full of good news! With every appointment, support group meeting, and pre-surgery milestone met, I am filled with hope, encouragement, and potential. I’m spurred on by small successes and know that there is much more good news coming my way. I am so excited to share with you guys all the things I’m looking forward to following a successful weight loss surgery experience! But I feel like it’s only fair that we also take a look at the not-so-good stuff.

The Bad News

I carry experiences as a result of obesity that are/were, at times, absolutely devastating. I’ve spent years yo-yo dieting, emotional eating, and sometimes feeling badly for even existing! We live in a body-shaming culture and it can be absolutely maddening to try to meet societies ideals or to exist having not met them. I don’t know how to fix our culture but I do know how to stop letting what that culture says about my body have any bearing on my choices!

Below is a list of 15 ways that being obese has negatively impacted my life. Some of these realities may continue even after significant weight loss, but I trust that some can be put behind me for good!

• Daily pain in my feet, joints, and back
• Periods of exhaustion or low energy
• Fear of having children due to high risk of weight-related pregnancy complications
• Fear of increased risk of heart disease, hypertension, type 2 diabetes, strokes, etc
• Very poor self image at times
• Increased depression
• Increased anxiety
• Skin rashes from overlapping skin
• Having a less and less responsive immune system
• Experiencing repeated bullying as a child and adult
• Humiliation and pain from squeezing into seats and booths
• Trouble finding clothing that I like (non-cotton, roomy, affordable quick dry clothing anyone?)
• Embarrassment when publicly receiving unsolicited weight loss advice
• Overhearing rude comments about my body

I want to make something clear: I love my body today. I’m not having weight loss surgery because I hate my body. My mental health care team and I spent more than a year training my brain to love my body just as it is. It was HARD work. Through that process I realized I feel badly for my body. I would NEVER talk to someone else the way I talked to my body. I have been SO mean to my body for SO long. I have learned so much about self-care in the last two years. I practice being patient with my body and listening to it so I can give it what it needs. I don’t always succeed, but it’s an effort I’m committed to. Yes, I’m having an elective surgery to anatomically change the size of my stomach only because I love my body. I’m get to choose what I do with, to, and for my body because I’m the person who was put in charge of caring for it.

If you find yourself hating your body, I encourage you to reach out to a mental health professional today—and keep reaching out until you find one who is patient and gentle with you!

Nourishing Heather

Your on your way and your outlook is perfect. Best of luck to you your journey and I wish you only success. I suffered a lot of similar ills as you due to my weight. I'm only 10 days post op but already I can feel the transformation and it just excites me every time I it crosses my mind. One thing new that I am having to learn since the beginning of my journey is patience. I don't want everything to happen quickly because I hate my body the way it is but because of the excitement I feel on envisioning what the outcome WILL BE.

Your going to do GREAT!!

I started to write to you but stopped. Maybe I will anyway. I went ahead and had children but I wasn't the play pal to them I could have been. No honey, mommy is too out of breath and can't do that! No mommy can't fit on that ride withyou, sorry honey. I did live to see my children grown, even got to love them instead of being a picture in a frame. More good luck than good planning.
And when I decided to seek Bariatric Surgery I ran into a brand new bunch,of Nay-Sayers. I was too old,too silly too foolish to try doing this. I wouldn't be a success, I quit everything before, if not I could have lost weight the "normal"way. They had no clue how hard I tried. But the most hurtful thing I was told, and this was from a person I used to call "friend". Because I willfully insisted on doing this, I was pushing a younger more deserving person out of the way. Ooh this hurt, just like acid in a wound, I am and always have been a kind-hearted person. A no drama mama ,who gave in rather than hurt another person. I managed to,leave before crying, so they wouldn't know how bad that hurt. But I wish now. I had slapped or knocked them to the ground, and I am not prone to violence. But that would not have been of benefit, I can merely pray Karma circles around and punishes them for me. For I believe I truly am young enough. This is the right time to do the right thing for the right person's benefit MINE. And I will devote every breath remaining in my 72 year old body to doing this and doing it well. For I truly deserve THE BEST OF EVERYTHING!???