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Hardest Part (outside of eating)



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Watching the effects of rapid weight loss. Loose skin was expected but I look haggard. My face is worn and old. I am relatively young. I wasn’t expecting it to be the this bad since I didn’t have a double chin, hence no turkey neck. It is a huge blow to my confidence. And now the only plastics I can think about is a face lift.

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@redhead che, today I feel the same and I am even a different stage of the proceedings. People tell me Look at how far you've come. And I want to say Where? I just feel like I'm running in place, I do not see travel miles mounting up!

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3 minutes ago, AshAsh1 said:

Stalls. stalls. stalls.

yes yes yes! I just broke through a month and a week ish stall. Longest one I've experienced. Bouncing between the same 2 lbs is like STOOOOOOP.

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13 hours ago, Mhy12784 said:

Maybe I'm doing it wrong, but I've completely ignored my body's sense or lack of hunger since surgery.

I decided what Protein Fiber and calories numbers I needed to hit, and just set up a routine where I would eat meals at the same time everyday no matter what. And I just simply spread out my calories over the course of the day to hit those numbers.

6am I'm eating Breakfast. 3pm I'm eating lunch, 6pm dinner, 9pm my late Protein snack.

I don't care when or if I'm hungry, when it's time to eat it's time to eat. And as long as getting my protein Fiber and staying within my rough caloric range that's all that I care about.

Otherwise I'm not getting hungry enough that I have to eat thanks to the surgery, and it's hard to imagine that I'm overeating as long as I'm making smart choices and staying in my calorie range

I'm the opposite. I only eat when my body tells me it's hungry. Some days all I have is two Protein Shakes, to meet my protein requirements.

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1 hour ago, sillykitty said:

I'm the opposite. I only eat when my body tells me it's hungry. Some days all I have is two Protein Shakes, to meet my Protein requirements.

I guess it depends on how much more you're trying to lose and how quickly.

Like I wouldn't mind losing maybe up to 10 more pounds, but it's not a goal of mine. I wanna not just maintain but increase my lean mass. So I'm trying to keep things constant. Plus I feel that if you under eat one day because you're not hungry it will lead to hunger spikes, cravings, and that can lead to poor decisions and be a slippery slope. But by constantly eating when you're supposed to, it'll keep you in a more stable place

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19 minutes ago, Mhy12784 said:

I guess it depends on how much more you're trying to lose and how quickly.

Like I wouldn't mind losing maybe up to 10 more pounds, but it's not a goal of mine. I wanna not just maintain but increase my lean mass. So I'm trying to keep things constant. Plus I feel that if you under eat one day because you're not hungry it will lead to hunger spikes, cravings, and that can lead to poor decisions and be a slippery slope. But by constantly eating when you're supposed to, it'll keep you in a more stable place

I agree. I'm still looking for maximum weight loss at this point, with 40 more lbs to go.

I don't have a lot of physical hunger fortunately, so I'm trying to take advantage of that. I haven't detected a pattern of rebound hunger, for me.

Part of how I got to my weight is eating mindlessly, out of habit or boredom. So I've tried to be mindful of that. The other part is my job requires a lot of social meals. So a good part of the time I'm eating when I'm not particularly hungry. So I try to balance that with when I'm home, I only eat when my body tells me to.

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I'm 4 weeks out and I am also rediscovering my body. Even though I'm cleared for soft foods, I can only tolerate soft veggies and fish. I can't handle chicken, pork or beef, something I learned the hard way. All I think about eating is vegetables and I have to force myself to eat the fish because I want to eventually wean myself off the Protein Shakes, so I try to get Protein from fish and Beans etc.

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On 6/27/2018 at 8:17 PM, MdmMargott said:

Stalls. It just sucks when I wake up and number on the scale is the same as yesterday.

Social eating and drinking. I never realized how much socializing is around food and i just feel so uneasy in these situations at the moment.

Fear of not losing the weight/gaining all of it back/not being successful. It's always at the back of my mind.

Social situations changed for me when I reframed it as being about people, not food. I'm there to enjoy the conversation and the company. To gain comfort from the relationships. It helps me not obsess about what I can or can't eat or start rationalizing a bad choice. I was on my pre-op diet at a dinner party with some close friends, so I had to not eat anything but my salad and afterwards I went home and cried because it was the first time I simply enjoyed the company of the people in my life and I didn't think constantly about food. It was so amazing and also sad when I realized how much life I missed by thinking always about food. I can't say I'm "healed" but I'm able to catch the food obsession and remind myself it's not about the food. I'm an introvert so social situations can be stressful so sometimes I have to remind myself every few minutes, but it helps. :)

I'm a teacher and not being able to drink alcohol in the summer is a lot harder than I expected. I didn't realize how much I use alcohol to relax over vacation. I haven't found a way to reframe that one. ;)

I feel the scale pain: my weight stays in the same two-pound range for weeks and then drops suddenly, then goes back up a couple pounds before starting the whole process again. It's super frustrating, but over the long run the weight loss does happen, eventually. Just not on my brain's schedule.

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The mental aspect of all of this is the hardest for me. I didn't expect that at all. Learning how to cope with stress without food or alcohol has been hard too. And stalls! The scale makes me crazy but I can't stay away from it!

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What a great topic. I struggle with eating beyond my comfort zone when eating out. Fortunately I don't really need to go out much. Next time I go, I'm going to try asking for a to go box be delivered with my meal so that I can eyeball the portion I'll eat and pack up the rest to be leftovers. No endless picking until I feel painfully full. Early on when I returned to work I realized I was stress eating. I recognized what I was doing midway with a veggie straw to my lips. I was bound and determined not to let stress eating sabotage me, so I revamped my self care: journaling, meditation, activity/exercise (a real mood ad energy booster for me), therapy, and for awhile I was doing massage every 3 weeks.

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Hi Defincupark!

A lot of docs put patients on a PPI prescription post surgery so stomach acid churning doesn’t get confused with hunger. It really improved my rumbly tummy syndrome.

Day 8 is tough. Before you know it, months will fly by and a new normal will feel great. At to months, it is hard to remember how difficult those first weeks were.

It gets so much easier and better!

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Still being hungry when I was told by all the professionals "you won't feel hungry anymore". It's like a nagging aunt, but I don't give in and like above, I try to keep to a meal/snack schedule and I plan MY meals out but the family meals too.

going out of social situations are hard now. With people i know it's not a big deal but maybe I wanted to save my food and they just eat it, or I'm at a party and there's nothing that I've tried yet I panic, because lately my stomach has hated two or three (or more!) Things per week and I run to the bathroom. I'm scared that's going to happen. I do bring my own emergency stuff though and hide it in a coffee cup. Nasty or snarky comments from peop!e I kinda know I am not fond of. I'm 11 weeks and 52 pounds down so I'm noticeable

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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