Don't pray for me

[Orchids&Dragons 9,047]

5 minutes ago, Sosewsue61 said:

I believe most people are expressing 'an earnest hope or wish'.

On a humourous sarcastic note: If you are atheist stop appropriating the word 'hell', as you obviously don't believe in it....lol

Interesting, so prayer isn't necessarily religious at all. Although, I admit, I use it with a religious intent.

[kimber57 6]

Wondering why this subject comes up at all. As an Atheist, you expect others to respect your beliefs or right to NOT to believe. Yet you lack any respect for their right to express theirs.
Grow up! Let go of the pettiness and open your mind.
They are simply attempting to express their well wishes. Accept it and say "Thank you." Like an adult....

Sent from my SM-G950U1 using BariatricPal mobile app

[jess9395 5,450]

On 05/31/2018 at 08:37, Creekimp13 said:

When people pray for me...it's like they're bringing me a cup of the worst flavor of coffee imaginable. Something I find really offputting and undrinkable.

And they're so proud when they hand it to me and say...I care about you...so here's my favorite coffee! And I smile and say thank you....but what I'm thinking is....Damn, it would have been nice if you got me a drink I like. Something that would help me or comfort me..or at least something I could gag down for hydration.

And maybe I should be grateful....maybe it's the thought that counts. But to me....all they've given me is a chore. Dumping it and wasting a cup.

It doesn't feel like love and concern when someone gifts you with something you don't want and can't use.

I'm not saying it's the worst thing in the world when people pray for me. I just think it's tone deaf and a waste...and more about reassuring themselves than supporting me.

Most folks are well intention, but I wish they understood that my beliefs are as precious to me as theirs are to them.

Praying for me is kinda like sending a Jesus "He Died For You" Easter card to Jewish friend. There's part of me that think you're sweet and appreciates that you thought of me.....and another part that considers you very very blind and self absorbed.

Praying for an atheist is like bringing a man a tampon. "I heard you were bleeding and wanted to help". You kinda look at it and go....Oh. Thanks? (and wonder what the hell to do with it) LOL. It's not that we think you're horrible for trying to help, and in many ways it's sort of endearing......we're just shocked that you can't see how weird this is for us.

Okay, but with a prayer all ya gotta do with it is put it out of your mind. Not a huge chore and nothing goes to waste. Should be quite simple.

Don’t need to let any of it take up space in your mind for any longer than it takes them to say it. In one ear and out the other as it were.

No different than those well intentioned yet backhanded compliments we discuss on here sometimes. In one ear and out the other.

[Creekimp13 5,841]

Meh...I suppose. I don't get upset about people praying for me. It's fine. And like I say...I know most people mean to be helpful.

I'm just trying to explain why it's pointless to tell an Atheist you're praying for them....and why it isn't received as it's intended.

If you're a big prayer person....maybe the best idea is to pray for your Atheist friends silently and not tell them about it?

That way you get your prayer fix and don't annoy them when they're already up against some kinda issue.

I think that's the crux of it....adding insult to injury.

Like...hey, you recognize I'm having a hard time right now...and you're choosing to push your agenda on me anyway?

It just kinda sucks and isn't appreciated.

Sometimes saying nothing is being a better friend.

Edited May 31, 2018 by Creekimp13

[Creekimp13 5,841]

1 hour ago, kimber57 said:

As an Atheist, you expect others to respect your beliefs or right to NOT to believe. Yet you lack any respect for their right to express theirs.
Grow up! Let go of the pettiness and open your mind.

Let me illustrate for you, kimbers.

Say you're a religious person, and your mom dies, and you're heartbroken.

As an Atheist, should I come up to you and say "You know that God is a load of crap and heaven is an adult security blanket fantasy......but I really think your mom lived a rich impacting life in the time we had her here and you should take comfort in being her legacy and in beautiful memories of her."

Incidentally....this is what I whole heartedly believe....but it would be insanely insensitive to say something like this to a grieving religious person. I would be an asshat for being that disrespectful of the beliefs that give them comfort.

Just like it's insanely insensitive for religious asshats to say religious yaya when Atheists suffer losses. You are disrespecting OUR source of comfort...with something we consider fantasy.

So, perhaps you can appreciate how that cuts both ways and how religious folks should grow up and open their minds, too.

There is a time and a place to express your different beliefs. When someone is suffering...is not that time.

Edited May 31, 2018 by Creekimp13

[elforman 234]

1 hour ago, jess9395 said:

Okay, but with a prayer all ya gotta do with it is put it out of your mind. Not a huge chore and nothing goes to waste. Should be quite simple.

If every time you sneezed someone said "There is no god" would you just put it out of your mind?

If every piece of currency said "There is no god" would you just put it out of your mind?

If every time politicians spoke they said "There is no god" would you put it out of your mind?

If you were about to undergo a life-changing medical procedure and strangers supported you by saying "There is no god" would you just put it out of your mind?

If you lost someone close to you and someone in your time of grief said "There is no god?" would you just put it out of your mind?

Try putting yourself in our shoes for a bit and understand how constantly inundated with religion we are. All I have said is that it is not asking much for people to keep their religion to themselves in times of grief.

[Creekimp13 5,841]

2 hours ago, Sosewsue61 said:

If you are atheist stop appropriating the word 'hell', as you obviously don't believe in it....lol

Oh hells no, I don't believe in it....but I enjoy the concept of hell. Lakes of fire and misery are a wonderful simile for unpleasant situations. I enjoy me some good colorful hyperbolic language. I like saying Jaysus! in an Irish accent, too. Meh...vernacular is fun:)

[elforman 234]

1 minute ago, Creekimp13 said:

...vernacular is fun

I'm at work and my boss tells me she needs me to perform a certain task "religiously". So I say "Oh, you mean never?"

[Matt Z 4,140]

26 minutes ago, elforman said:

Try putting yourself in our shoes for a bit and understand how constantly inundated with religion we are. All I have said is that it is not asking much for people to keep their religion to themselves in times of grief.

I totally get this. I typically don't let it bother me, just like I don't really get too worked up with all the Flatearthers bs. I tend to scoff internally about how I can't fathom why anyone needs a magical controller to be happy or to explain what can't yet be explained.

I can say without any uncertainty that everyone here can thank those less or non-religious for their lives, because if it wasn't for those that bucked religion and backed science, none of us would have ever had WLS. Hell, more than half of us wouldn't even be alive.

I don't prescribe to the "atheist" tag, mainly because I don't know. To say that there isn't something much more powerful than I, that just happens to exist outside my perception of the universe that happens to live WAY the hell longer than I do, doesn't exist, is just as daft as saying one does exist. We are still infants, barely able to stand at the door looking out the screen at the yard in front of us and assuming that's all of existence without knowing or seeing the rest of the world that sprawls outward ahead of us. We've got a a LONG way to go as a species, religion is just an archaic answer to questions we've already started to be able to answer.

That said, whatever Jelly's your Donut as long as you don't attempt to jelly mine.

Edited May 31, 2018 by Matt Z

[Creekimp13 5,841]

1 minute ago, Matt Z said:

whatever Jelly's your Donut as long as you don't attempt to jelly mine.

^This.

[NYJenn 1,464]

They are trying to be nice all you can do is be self righteous?

[elforman 234]

44 minutes ago, NYJenn said:

They are trying to be nice all you can do is be self righteous?

I am merely asking for consideration that not everyone believes as you do. If your mother dies, do you want me coming up to you and telling you that there's no god because that's what I believe and what I think is what you want to hear? I'm sure it's not. So if you are going to try to comfort someone, unless you know specifically what comforts them, try leaving your religion out of it because not everyone believes in the same things you do.

[NYJenn 1,464]

On 05/31/2018 at 16:23, elforman said:

I am merely asking for consideration that not everyone believes as you do. If your mother dies, do you want me coming up to you and telling you that there's no god because that's what I believe and what I think is what you want to hear? I'm sure it's not. So if you are going to try to comfort someone, unless you know specifically what comforts them, try leaving your religion out of it because not everyone believes in the same things you do.

You’re not offended you just want to start drama... give it up

[elforman 234]

1 minute ago, NYJenn said:

You’re not offended you just want to start drama... give it up

Actually, I do find the assumption that I'm religious to be highly offensive. It's a direct insult to everything I believe. So in the same way I don't disparage your beliefs in your time of need by making assumptions, you should be able to afford others the same courtesy.

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

3 hours ago, Creekimp13 said:

So, perhaps you can appreciate how that cuts both ways and how religious folks should grow up and open their minds, too.

There is a time and a place to express your different beliefs. When someone is suffering...is not that time.

Neatly explained analogy!