Unsupportive friends

[jfc193 719]

There will alwayss be individuals that do not understand what you are planning to do.

Fortunately my wife and I decided get banded on the same day.

[munchkin392 1]

I can totally understand how you feel. I cannot believe how much flack I have gotten for my decision to get the band. I am a nurse and the worst ones of all have been doctors who lecture me not to get it!! Even my primary care physician, sat and told me that my lipids were high, I was going to end up diabetic, I was at high risk for heart disease, etc, then in the same breath turned around and tried (once again) to talk me out of having the lap band! I reminded him that there were recently two major studies published in the New England Journal of Medicine that stated lap band surgery can basically reverse this trend, all to no avail. My friends however, have all been very supportive of it, as have most of my relatives. I still just can't get over all the doctors who have given me a hard time about it. One gastroenterologist spent 30 minutes telling me all the reasons I shouldn't have it. He had me so scared I almost changed my mind!

[Louisianagirl 0]

There will alwayss be individuals that do not understand what you are planning to do.

Fortunately my wife and I decided get banded on the same day.

MY mother and I were banded the same day. It is really good to go through it with someone near by so you can compare the different things you might eat or do. I know we pretty much stayed right on top each other on weigh loss. Maybe a few lbs different but neck in neck.

[plump_princess 1]

I've had very supportive family members and some not so supportive. But, then I realized, the family members that have been supportive are the ones who have always been there for me in the first place. The unsupportive ones who give me the third degree about the process and as a rule-- who are the most judgmental seem to be "see you at the next family gathering" types, who are never around-- and surprisingly, grossly overweight themselves. Misery loves company and family members can be toxic people, too. I've made the decision to surround myself with positive, supportive people and I choose to focus on me, my life, and my future for a change!

[Katgirl 0]

These people are not your friends, Meghan; plain and simple.

Hi, I'm new here!. I'm really considering having the procedure done, and was talking to my friends about it and I was really surprised by their reactions. Most, but not all, told me that I was crazy and ALL i needed to do was eat less and exercise more... have willpower. They told me that I was cheating and taking the easy way out. I was really hurt by these comments, because obviously if it were that easy for me I would have done it already. Did anyone else experience reaction like this from people? How did you handle it?

Meghan

[Firebolt 3]

Meghan - I too worry about the reaction of friends. At this time I've only told my direct supervisor, my mom, husband & a very close friend. All have been very supportive - but I do not think I'll tell anyone else. I've love the "Female Surgery & Gallbladder Surgery" used in above posts...Can I use them also?

Don't let them get you down. You're doing what's best for you - and only you know what's best for Meghan, right? Once you've lost weight, it really won't matter what they said. You'll have the "last laugh"!

[Newstart101507 0]

Jetwitch-what great advice! I noticed your age, I'm 56, this is my first time ever on chating, something else to learn. Congratulations on your loss! It is so inspiring to read and see that it is possible at any age. I've thought about the lapband for several years. My insurance won't cover so I've saved and charging the rest. My seminar is this Sunday and I have submitted all my paperwork. Can you give me any idea how long the whole process takes? Sounds like 3 or 4 months by the responses I've read today.

Thanks again for sharing! Hope to hear from you and others.

Minerals13 - - I noticed your earlier post regarding the time it takes to get the lapband. If you are self pay it may not take as long as you think. I went to my first seminar on October 2 and my surgery was less than 2 weeks later on the 15th. I am 55 and I did not want to wait any longer. I am so glad I did it. I recovered from the surgery quickly and feel like I am on my way to a new life!

[restmgr985 0]

Do what feels best for you. i made the decision on my own , only a couple of my friends knew about it before i went . i told all them afterwards , well while i was there, i posted a bulletin on myspace just saying I survived surgery, wow my email started blowing up wanting to know what was going on, I am 3 weeks post op and feeling great, lost 29# so far.

Adrias Mier

banded by Dr Zapada

Monterrey Mexico

[Cota129 0]

I've told very few people. Like anything else that is deeply personal, my decision to have surgery is my business. As my weight loss becomes obvious, my answer will be that I am exercising and watching what I eat.

[minerals13 0]

Thank you for your response. What a great attitude. I look forward to hearing of your progress. Good luck and congrats on your surgery date. Carol

[Louisianagirl 0]

For everyone in her boat I would wait to tell everyone afterwards.

I have a cousin who tryed to discourage me, she tryed to talk me into just haveing a Tummy Tuck instead because thats what she did. Well I rather get rid of the fat first then plan for that later. Whats the point of getting that done if you don't have your weight undercontrol and when you have cos. surgery like that without watching your weight you will gain in other places. She has talked about getting her legs done but why not spend the money on lapband instead, you have to start with weight loss first.

Well bottom line I just think she was jealous because even though she had a tummy tuck she still has a weight problem.

[meghan1983 0]

Thank you so much for all your responses. Its given me lots to think about!

[sherrie1_us 0]

Ok your going through a little of what i am. i went to my friends and some of them said the same thing oh you can do it you been exercising your just being lazy, and trust me that hurt, when I went to my family a whole different out come they were very supportive of me, I have mine this friday the 2nd and my mom said to me just today that she is proud of me for me and she is glad that I made this chose to help better my life. girl go for it don't tell anybody just go for it.

[transformer 1]

Hi there!

Sorry to hear about your friends' reactions. I think they are just ignorant about the serious issues you face when trying to lose weight.

Anyone who says this is "the easy way out" is an idiot, plain and simple. It just proves their ignorance. All of us have to put in the effort to eat properly, drink enough Water, and exercise just like anyone else--banded or not. The band is just a tool to help control insatiable hunger. Duh!

I made the choice to only tell a few people (my boss, a couple colleagues who were evolved above the cave man level, my son who would notice I disappeared when I went to the hospital, and my ex-husband who is the only adult in the area who could pick me up at the hospital after surgery). Anyone else who comments on how I'm losing weight gets my pat answer, "Diet and Exercise." Quite frankly, it's none of their gosh-darn business. So there!

I do have four brothers and sisters who I haven't told yet. My one-year bandiversary is coming up in December and I am going "home" to visit at Christmas. They will hopefully notice that I've lost weight, so I may tell them about my surgery. We'll see!

In any case, I'm sorry you had to put up with people being mean to you. It's best that you focus on doing what you need to do in order to be healthy--the heck with them!

[Dragonflies74 0]

My husband tells me to join a gym with him. I myself have decided not tell anyone other than him, even though at this time, he is not supportive and would probably rather i do the gastric bypass because it is covered by our health plan. That's a whole other story. Bottom line, you know your body best and what is attainable. My thoughts are this, right now, i can't even climb my stairs without huffing and puffing and my knees hurting. Once I lose, and become stonger, I won't be so embarressed to join a gym and may actually like it instead of dreading it. You do what your heart tells you to do and don't let people judgements define you or your goals! Best of luck!