Jump to content
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Gents: Stop the madness....

Recommended Posts

Hi Guys,

I’ve recently had some family drama pop up and I’m disappointed to say that I got dragged into it and fed the proverbial beast.

However, when talking about it with a friend of mine I had an epiphany of sorts and I realized that in the long run the issue really didn’t matter that much to me. I made the decision at that moment to not address this issue or any other crap that does not directly affect me or my wife or kid.

I’ve found that I need to eliminate stress in my life to be successful in my weight loss and for my own peace of mind. I have done this in the past when I lost a significant amount of weight and it made realize that I can only control things that I’m able to. Knowing that and putting it into practice helped me be calmer, more focused and productive in all aspects of my life.

Some people didn’t care for my new outlook, such as my mom when she would complain about her sister. I would simply say “Mom, how does this affect you, dad or us kids directly?” She would say “It doesn’t.” To that I would answer, “Well then, I guess there is nothing you can do about it and you should stop wasting energy on things you can’t change”.

She would get angry with me because I wouldn’t take the “bait” with her. But my philosophy was to remove uncontrollable stressors as best as possible, basically all of the crap that was just noise, and focused on real things that can be changed or things that I needed to pay attention to because of potential importance.

Regretfully I got lazy in this mindset and I fell off the wagon and went back to my old ways of adding to the b***h fest. I’ve been acting like a cranky old man that has nothing better to do than b***h about everything.

Well it stops. Now! Again some people in my life won’t like this much but it’s my health and well-being and that of my wife and son that matter the most to me now. I’ll be there for people and help if I can but not if it’s a constant drone of pissing and moaning. I'll even do my best to not complain when ladies comment on stuff in the Guys Room section, even though that does drive me nuts.

Baby steps right?

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Agreed. Before you can help anyone else, you need to fix yourself by making yourself healthy. Sometimes the hard thing to do is to stand back and let matters unfold, but you can't do anything about the views of others, you can only take control of how you decide to react in everyday situations and therein how you are going to deal with the stress.
Good decision!

HW 365 CW 332 GW 220
Sleeved 6th March 2018

Edited by AniracIre

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Sounds good. Focus on the important stuff. Develop a thick skin and let everything that is not important to simply roll off.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Featured Surgeons

    1. Masoud Rezvani

      Woodbridge, Virginia 22191

    2. Lisa Medvetz

      Downingtown, Pennsylvania 19335

  • Recent Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Jerseygirl4523

      This week I got nutrition clearance and finished my at home sleep study. They called Friday and the results were normal! I had my pathway class today. 
      I've officially completed all the requirements I had to complete before surgery, except for the 6 month medically supervised weight loss required by Anthem BCBS.
      What a week!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • istytehcrawk

      Fit back down into the (new) size 28 jeans I bought like six months ago!
      · 1 reply
      1. Mattymatt


    • istytehcrawk

      Had my first meal out at a restaurant (Bob Evans) tonight. 
      Ordered the grilled Wildfire chicken (one breast), with sides of baby carrots, green beans with ham (very minimal), and fresh fruit. Skipped the bread. Oh, and mom and I sat around chatting after the meal, and (after waiting a while) I drank a few ounces of peppermint tea with Splenda.
      Ate some of each of the chicken/veggies/fruit, and brought the rest home. Separated it out, and it made enough for three more meals (the veggies could have made four or five, probably, but there was only enough chicken for three, and I don't mind wasting a little bit of the veggies), plus the fruit for a snack. Super delicious.

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Mattymatt

      Exhaustion finally got the better of me and I took a long nap. Only problem with being that tired was I had a very lucid nightmare. The basic theme was all of my setbacks and failures over the past 15 years in brief and vivid snapshots. The most vivid of these snapshots was of my ex-girlfriend, the one I thought I would marry. We were doing karaoke night on a cruise and she sang Paula Abdul's Forever Your Girl while looking right at me with an unforgettable sparkle in her eye.
      Well, I woke up feeling predictably like garbage and then I vaguely remembered a few people posting about how fast weight loss can release hormones stored in fat. I don't know what prompted me to step on the scale but I did and lo and behold, I am down 6 pounds in only 5 days (maybe more because it is best to weigh at the beginning of the day.) This was a faster rate than I had ever lost before. Ironically, this did not make me feel any better. My hazy mind just said, "Okay, now time to shower and clean the incisions" Jaysus! I don't cry easily but the damn burst once the hot water hit me. A good cry is an underrated experience for feeling better. So I am now well along my journey and down 26 pounds from my heaviest last September.
      · 2 replies
      1. Toomanytacos


      2. istytehcrawk

        I feel you. My hormones are definitely out of whack, too (though it's not as bad now as it was the first couple weeks -- so it does get better). I sometimes just start tearing up out of NOWHERE, sometimes in the middle of a conversation. I warned everyone at work that if it looks like I'm crying, I probably am, but it's fine because it's just my body being ridiculous (everyone at work knows about my surgery).

    • istytehcrawk

      A little annoyed that I'm up about two pounds since yesterday (weighed yesterday because it was my one-month anniversary and today before an appointment with my PCP so I could compare the difference between my scale and theirs), but my doctor says it is likely water retention because I've been spotting the last few days (I don't get true periods anymore because of the Nexplanon implant). I just hope it passes soon.
      · 3 replies
      1. FluffyChix

        Oh that's the worst! Scales are unreliable pig fuc*ers who will want to mind-do you any chance they get! ((hugs))

      2. Mattymatt

        Hey! As I write this, I am taking a heaping teaspoon of my own medicine. Please be kind to yourself. Remember that this is a journey and you can expect it to have ups and downs. As my surgeon says, recuperation and gaining health rarely happens in a linear fashion. Instead, focus on the overall trend. You can do this! You're worth it!

      3. istytehcrawk

        I'm generally pretty optimistic (both overall and about this surgery), but I sure was liking maintaining an average loss of 10 pounds per week. Now that nice, round average is all shot to hell. (I'm more annoyed that my average is no longer "pretty" than I am about gaining the little bit of weight, actually.)

  • Trending Topics

  • Magazine Articles

    1. Dear Lap-Band: A Fond Farewell

      Posted in: LAP-BAND Surgery
      Alex Brecher
    2. Obesity Is a Disease – Part 1: A Medical Roadmap to Help

      Posted in: Pre-Op Support
      Alex Brecher
    3. 10 Tips to Meet Your Protein Goals After Surgery

      Posted in: Food & Nutrition
      Kristin Willard, RDN, CSG, CLT
    4. Food getting "stuck"?

      Posted in: Food & Nutrition
      Lisa Kaouk, RD & Monica Bashaw, RD
  • Together, we have lost...