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Happy Valintines Day



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You know being heavy, fat, fluffy, chunky, overweight, obese, or whatever else you want to call it gave me a unique understanding that our world our enjoyments revolve around food. It has been amazing to see this enlightenment hit my friends and husband, and for them to find real empathy when dealing with the sensitive subject of eating and dieting. These past two weeks have been intense first my twin daughters turned 14 and had a slumber party the treats they chose to give to their friends could have given you a toothache just from looking at them. My husband rattled around asking if I was ok, how can I be doing ok he can barely keep from eating them, and then eventually he broke into the cake with savage enjoyment. I just sipped my tea and laughed as the girls at the party played party games and argued over boys, and teachers; this was what I had always wanted this moment to look like. Not me thinking about cake the whole night (aka what my husband did) or me sneaking bits of candy so that by the end of the night I have a twist in my stomach, it was great and yes my husband went to bed sick and then ate left over cake for Breakfast.

The next moment came on a date night with me and that great guy it is his turn to plan and he looked at me and said well there is nothing to do that doesn't involve food. For a side note my husband is only about 10 pounds over weight he is active but not really the greatest at healthy eating. After having a conversation about still being able to go out maybe splitting a plate or maybe I get an appetizer and take some home etc., he then asked about getting a drink again we talked about how he could get a drink and how I could have tea or Water. That is I think the moment he got it his face changed and he just looked kind of sad and he said our entire lives revolve around eating, and then he said it no wonder this has always been so hard!!!!!!!!!! Now my husband is always supportive and not an ill word comes out of his mouth but he also has never really got it and then this moment was it empathy real honest to god empathy!!! It was amazing and so moving for me that he got it. We did go out to dinner I had the best beef carpaccio ever and he had lasagna and a beer and then we walked and talked.

The third moment came from a friend I happened to be venting life on her as we all can sometimes do and in mid vent she stopped me and I am not kidding said OH MY GOD this is not going to work, I stopped my rant and said wait what and she said I cant do this now here I am thinking I have lost a friend because of my whining and I start to back track and she is like its not you its me and I am even more freaked out and then she is like you were talking and I was going through my wine to get a bottle to bring you and then I was thinking Ill stop and grab some of that cheese stuff you like and then we can have a real vent session. Now my panic is still there am I really going to have to go through the loss of this friend because I cant drink and binge on imported cheese. Her response was priceless, Well we cant drink wanna go for a walk!!! I broke out laughing and was washed in relief. She got it she got it.

Now here we are on Valentines day it is so easy to go out and get chocolates and flowers and call it a day but now our partners have to be creative have to find things that fit have to give up the old rational that food heals everything. This is the fourth moment this is hard for me for us our changing bodies, our hair falling out, the pain, the exercise, facing our food demons and even more; but as hard as it is for me I recognize that it is hard for my family and friends because my change requires some form of change from them and you know what change is freaking hard!!!!

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((hugs)) Can I triple like this? I'm so happy for you, I could bust a gut!! Those are all such Kodak moments aren't they? Happy VD Day!

(ppst Now go have sex with the dude and reward great behavior! :D )

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Can I get a fourth on this!! It is HARD!! Not only for my family but for me also. Our lives have always been about eating. My hubby and I have been married for 45 years coming this Aug. Everything is or was about food!! On our Anniversary's, our Birthdays, every pay day was a celebration with food. It has been really hard on my hubby and my daughter because we found any reason to do lunch. I don't care to go out. The fear of getting sick and stressed about what to order. Now my hubby has had his Sleeve and he is still (after 2 years) missing the amounts of food I think he is actually mourning!! But kind of finding it nice about the amounts he now eats. He says Man I still feel like I can eat 10 tacos when in fact he eats 2. We marvel at how cheap we can eat out now and how much we know what to eat but our tummys say no when our brain says YES!! It defintly is hard on everyone. Even tho I am over 4 years out every once and awhile I think I want something that I know might make me sick, but I will risk it. WHAM, I will NEVER eat that again. LOL Just one bite and I remember why I don't eat that. Thank you for sharing part of your journey with us. Take care and I look forward to seeing more posts from you!! BTW HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!! There is more to life than CHOCOLATE!!!

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Happy VD to everyone:)

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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