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Which embarrasses you more?



Which embarrasses you more?  

1 member has voted

  1. 1. Which embarrasses you more?

    • Those who notice and comment on your weight loss?
      15
    • Those who do not notice a significant weight loss frustrate me!
      53
    • Only those who make a big deal out of it makes my shy side come out yet I appreciate their support.
      73
    • Doesn't matter, I don't care in the least.
      69


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If you're asking about here then it's A-OK for people to discuss my weight HERE. It's in real life that I can.not.stand for anyone to mention it at all. I'm here, obviously, because I need to be thinking about my weight and talking about my experience (good or bad) is part of that. But in my daily life I'm focused on other things and consider any mention of my weight an etiquette violation--except by very close friends.

What about when someone who hasn't seen you in a long time and they mention how great you look? Is it the numbers that annoy you or the mere mention?

One thing that bothers me about real time is when someone stands back in absolute shock and tells me how great I look. I understand their intent but it also tells me I was obviously a heifer a year ago. HA! Sometimes people just can't win!

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re: "it also tells me I was obviously a heifer a year ago."

so which do we choose? the darkness and illusions of 'a year ago' or the sunshine of 'today'??? Both are part of our little 'reality sandwich'....

Oh, I fully agree with you. I just don't like the shock value because it reminds me of the heifer days.

I don't always like reality, damnit! :rolleyes:

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I am a very outgoing person, but as far as my weight goes, I tend to get embarrassed if someone goes on and on about a loss (or gain). So much of my weight is tied into shame and guilt that I get really freaked out when someone mentions anything about it.

I have really tried to psych myself out about this. I havent told the whole world about the surgery, so I have been trying to find ways to respond to rude questions. When I had the surgery, and coworker right out asked me if I had the Lap-Band, I told her I had to have a hernia repaired! She has even gone so far as to tell another lady we work with that she didnt believe me, that she thought I really went and got the Lap-Band. Isnt that rude? How do you respond to someone like that when you dont want to tell the world your business?

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I have lost 100 pounds...

some people notice a lot (I notice its those who really love me a lot)

Some people hardly notice at all..

BOTH get on my nerves because,

I DONT NOTICE and I think they arent being authentic (they are)

and

Its like I lost 100 friggin pounds how come you dont notice.. lol

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Ok...just have to add what my freaking mother in law has said to me. She has never ever commented positively on my weight...mind you she is bigger than I am. Yesterday, I was cleaning my horse stalls and she walked into the barn and said "so how much have you lost now". I told her and she says nothing....NOTHING. That pissed me off so bad you have no clue. My husband even made a comment, something to the tune of 'ya, doesn't she look great' and she still said NOTHING! $(&$#()*)(#@*#_*@#@_ ok, I feel better now. Anyway, I just walked away. That is the kind of thing that ticks me off......her attitude since day one has been, 'well its about time you did something about your weight' and again I stress that SHE IS BIGGER THAN I AM.....grrrrrrr

ok, thanks for letting me vent...lol

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Ok...just have to add what my freaking mother in law has said to me. She has never ever commented positively on my weight...mind you she is bigger than I am. Yesterday, I was cleaning my horse stalls and she walked into the barn and said "so how much have you lost now". I told her and she says nothing....NOTHING. That pissed me off so bad you have no clue. My husband even made a comment, something to the tune of 'ya, doesn't she look great' and she still said NOTHING! $(&$#()*)(#@*#_*@#@_ ok, I feel better now. Anyway, I just walked away. That is the kind of thing that ticks me off......her attitude since day one has been, 'well its about time you did something about your weight' and again I stress that SHE IS BIGGER THAN I AM.....grrrrrrr

ok, thanks for letting me vent...lol

She sounds a great deal like my sis. Jealous.

I think it takes a very selfish person to be jealous that you are losing weight while they maintain a large frame or continue gaining.

I know I used to be jealous of people in my mind that were losing. It wasn't that I didn't want them to lose, I WAS indeed happy for them. I just wished I could do the same.

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Oh, you guys and yer in-laws! My maw-in-law was being totally insensitive when my beloved baby brother suddenly died. All she wanted to talk about was the cottage she was building. So my mum died two months later and I never told her anything about it. We spent 2 weeks at her bedside watching her die and I ordered my husband to keep his mouth shut. I really didn't feel that I could deal with my maw-in-law at this time.

So, about 2 months later and behind my back she phones up my cousin and his family in order to invite them and my mum up to the cottage! My cousin does the equivalent of a double take! He is totally shocked! ....And then he finally tells he that my mum is dead.

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I voted #3

And WASABB - I'm sorry for asking how you did it :o Your success has been amazing and we're almost the same height and all that.

I hopefully didn't embarrass you too badly :faint:

:):o:o:o:o:o

Wombat

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Oh and my MIL - has talked to me about diets for 16 years!!!!!!! The first time I met her she only wanted to discuss all the diets she had ever heard of. That was an absolute nightmare!!!

She has despised me all these years; thought I was fat and lazy; that I was a bad mother because I used to smoke (gave that up 4 years ago); and the list just goes on and on and on.

Now, I think she's relieved I've gotten the band and is all for it. But now, after all these years, I don't CARE what she thinks anymore!!!!!:heh:

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I voted #3

And WASABB - I'm sorry for asking how you did it :o Your success has been amazing and we're almost the same height and all that.

I hopefully didn't embarrass you too badly :faint:

:):o:o:o:o:o

Wombat

Oh, absolutely not! I was referring to in real time, not on line. Guess I should have made that clear!! It was no problem!

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My brother's fiance came in looking for him today.. and said 'Wow you're just melting!', and at first I was confused, it's freezing in here, I'm not sweating!! Then I had a DUH moment.. Made me feel good, I think I take the compliments well grin.gif

One akward moment I had, a guy in the back was saying how great I look and blah blah, and then asked how much I lost. I told him.. then he said he lost 40lbs recently too. And I was speechless.. he's a joker, and I didn't know if he was serious, so I was checking him out and I honestly didn't know he was 40lbs overweight to begin with. So I'm oblivious or he's exaggerating. So I just told him, I never realized he was overweight, he looks great! But I still lament over how that played out..

DH's mom at the horseshow this weekend said I look 'better and better' everytime she sees me. I must have been such an eyesore before :)

Again, I still liked hearing it!

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All the turkey gobble "OHMIGOD YOU LOOK SO DIFFERENT IS IT YOU OHMIGOD OHMIGOD" embarasses me. I do not like the spotlight attention. I do not like feeling like people are looking at me. I would much rather people say nothing, than make a big deal out of it.

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Oh yeah, I could also live without, "There's no way you lost that much!" I know people mean this in a positive way - that's sooo much to lose, nearly impossible, good job. But it always hits me like, "...you're still so fat! How could you have possibly lost that much, and still need be fat?"

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I picked 4..I really don't care what anyone thinks. My personal feelings is all that matters to me. Outside opinions can make your head get rather large...and I don't need any additional weight gain at this point..lol.

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