Might back out...

[Lainey H 37]

So I have a date (Nov 30th) although still going through insurance approval. I'm becoming so anxious about it now that it seems real. I'm not sure if I should be excited but I'm scared of long-term issues with gastric sleeve surgery. I feel good about committing to the plan and loosing weight but I'm so nervous about so many other issues that might come up. Partly because I have been reading people's experiences on the boards. My fear is going through all the pain, recovery and learning to eat in a new way and trading in my success with weight loss for another set of problems. Here are some of the items written by people who are out 2-3 years. They are scaring me:

-nausea 2-3 yrs out

-not being able to leave house because need to be near bathroom

-gallstone issues and heartburn

-feeling just as hungry but not being able to eat as much and still gaining weight

-constipation

-I even read a thread about loosing teeth. Jeez, I didn't put that on my list of questions for either the surgeon or dentist

And of course there is also the unknown. What type of consequences will I experience 10-20 years out from Vitamin deficiency and any unknown issues that will occur based on this irreversible surgery. Ugh I'm struggling here...

I will say there are many positive posts so I'm trying to sift through the large amount of information here.

I spent most of my adult life thinnish (130) but always on a diet and went up and down 10-15 lbs. Always finding ways to get my sugar in so I have a bad relationship with food and def a stress eater. Once I had my kids at 38, I spent the next 9 years going between 170 and 247 (current weight.) I managed to loose 70 lbs 3 years ago with Weight Watchers and thought I had it all figured out. Even threw out my fat clothes. Then I spent the following year gaining it all back. I realize food is my addition and I don't understand how I couldn't keep it off and why I can't get back there. I was really intrigued by this surgery because of the research on resetting and shutting down hunger hormones but I know it's not a quick fix and I'm so worried it won't work for me. That thread on the person who was always hungry and barely ate anything but still gaining really got to me. And the nausea... I know the numbers on weight loss and stats on reflux, gerd, leaks etc but having a hard time finding any good sources for success 3-5 years out on how patients feel overall and how eating low amount of calories and vitamin issues could affect long-term health.

I'm already a bit resentful that I won't be able to eat like my family or drink a nice glass a wine with my dinner but it would kill me to feel awful on top of that. Something about this surgery feels wrong and yet I'm fighting to start my 50s in good health. I have 2 kids and a husband and want to be healthy and live long enough to be around. I'm willing to do the work and change my ways. I know it will be good for me. Thanks for any words of wisdom.

[Cas54 13]

Hi - I had my surgery mid August so I guess I'm a relative newbie and I'm sure that more experienced people will be able to give sound advice. All I can say is that I too read loads of horror stories but I can honestly say I have had very few problems since my surgery. Sure, the first few weeks of pureed food were tough and I did suffer from Constipation for a while. Other than that I have been pain free from the day of the operation. Now, 11 weeks after I feel pretty much normal. I haven't lost tons of weight but I have lost inches and feel so much better. I can walk for hours without knee and hip pain and can play with my grand kids without pain. I go out for dinner with family and friends and enjoy the experience just as much as before. In fact its great because I don't worry too much about what I order - just the amount. I also drink wine with meals without problem and one glass of wine is enough. I fact now I'm a pretty cheap date! . I haven't had any noticeable Hair loss, I'm not pre-occupied with Protein and the only real difference is that I am satisfied with much less food. Other than that life is back to normal with the benefit that I can already fit into smaller size clothes. There have been weeks when I haven't lost weight (probably because of the cheats!) which is disappointing but I know this is a long game and I can't live my life by the rules. I know that the fat will go, maybe it will take longer than other more disciplined people. I have never regretted the decision to go for WLS, just wish I had done it years earlier.

I hope that my experience helps you decide what to do. Good luck, whatever you decide.xx

[GassyGurl 428]

I too only had surgery in August. I have had a boring recovery. Woke up feeling no pain from surgery. I was pretty much back to normal on day 7. Had gas pains on days 2 - 5. After a month, I was off all meds. I've lost 41 lbs and have gone from a xl shirt to a medium.

I haven't had any nausea, very mild heartburn, controlled by pepcid and Tums. I take my Vitamins and have no reason to think I will suffer a lifetime of deficiencies. And I eat what my family eats, for the most part. I eat the Protein, leave the carbs. And I have half a glass of wine on occasion. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. In fact, I feel in control, while everyone else is gorging on their full plates of food.

Of course there are risks with surgery, but there are also risks of staying overweight.

Sent from my XT1254 using BariatricPal mobile app

[DropWt4Life 957]

I am almost 3 months out, and have had no complications as of now. I did have issues with Constipation, but remedied that by leaving low carb for a more natural diet. I also had issues with acid reflux, but I got rid of that several weeks ago by going on a regimen of good old APPLE CIDER VINEGAR. Gassygurl, perhaps this will help you as well. I take 2 Tbsp per day. It is really good for you as well. Before the ACV, I was taking Prilosec...didn't want the side effects of long term usage.

Lainey, having second thoughts is completely normal. We all have them. I was ready for surgery after decades of battling weight gains (and losing), but I still had thoughts of backing out. I am happy that I didn't give into them.

I will say that you must get your snacking under control if you intend to be successful long-term. This surgery helps you to eat less, but does not stop you from eating sweets and salty Snacks. You can still eat just as much as you did before surgery. I go out to eat with family and friends every Thursday after my daughter's volleyball game. I eat well. I can find a salad or Protein and veggies anywhere, so it isn't an issue.

[Diana_in_Philly 1,426]

Here goes - I'm 14 months out. My biggest complication has been to create a budget for new clothes.

I'm 56. I have two teenage daughters - one a freshman in college, one a freshman in high school. At my highest known weight I was 271.5 (photos I have seen indicate I was probably larger at points, but didn't get on scales). That was April 2016. I had my surgery August 2016. I weigh 166 right now. My BMI went from 48 to 29. I still want to lose another 15 pounds. I'm 5'3".

Sometimes, I get nauseous if I eat things with too many carbs or too much sugar - that's my body reminding me not to go back to bad habits. It has happened about 4 times since surgery. I took my nausea meds for a day or two after surgery and that was it. I didn't use any pain pills after discharge from the hospital. I take a PPI daily and have no issues with heartburn or reflux. I drink wine when I want (but only after I have met my Protein and Water goals for the day and have calories left over to do so). I eat what my family eats because I cook for them. I use Barilla Protein Pasta instead of the regular Barilla pastas and we all have spaghetti or ziti together.

My bloodwork looks great. My team wants me to be a success story for our support groups. I've gone from barely fitting in a size 22 to being a size 8. My profile photo is from about six month ago - so its not accurate. I fence (en garde) 5 hours a week and work out in the gym another 2-3.

My biggest complication has been wrapping my head around the fact that I'm not fat anymore. I still, in my mind, see myself as the fat woman I have been for so long. I weigh less now than I did when my husband married me 20 years ago.

What makes this surgery successful or not is getting your head in the right place. If you are already resentful, then you are not in a good place to do this. You may want to work with a therapist on what is holding you back from taking care of yourself. This only works if you are going to make the plan work and are committed to it. I decided I didn't want to be the fat mom any more. That I wanted to be able to dance at my daughters' weddings when they married and not be in a wheelchair because my joints gave out from carrying almost 300 pounds on a 5'3" frame. I wanted to be healthy. The only regret I have is that I didn't do this 10 years sooner.

Best of luck on your journey.

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

Ditto what everyone has posted. I am sleeved one week, and on no pain meds, not regretting one minute. I too lost 70lbs on Weight Watchers and then stopped tracking and going to meetings and being honest.

You need to examine your attachment to food, and develop a better relationship with it. You might try counseling or reading some books by Geneen Roth.

As far as anecdotal evidence from the forums, everyone's health before surgery can determine the outcome plus different genetics. Also compliance - people can lie about what they are eating and drinking.

You alone need to make the choice based on what you want. Good luck.

[Lainey H 37]

17 hours ago, Cas54 said:

Hi - I had my surgery mid August so I guess I'm a relative newbie and I'm sure that more experienced people will be able to give sound advice. All I can say is that I too read loads of horror stories but I can honestly say I have had very few problems since my surgery. Sure, the first few weeks of pureed food were tough and I did suffer from Constipation for a while. Other than that I have been pain free from the day of the operation. Now, 11 weeks after I feel pretty much normal. I haven't lost tons of weight but I have lost inches and feel so much better. I can walk for hours without knee and hip pain and can play with my grand kids without pain. I go out for dinner with family and friends and enjoy the experience just as much as before. In fact its great because I don't worry too much about what I order - just the amount. I also drink wine with meals without problem and one glass of wine is enough. I fact now I'm a pretty cheap date! . I haven't had any noticeable hair loss, I'm not pre-occupied with Protein and the only real difference is that I am satisfied with much less food. Other than that life is back to normal with the benefit that I can already fit into smaller size clothes. There have been weeks when I haven't lost weight (probably because of the cheats!) which is disappointing but I know this is a long game and I can't live my life by the rules. I know that the fat will go, maybe it will take longer than other more disciplined people. I have never regretted the decision to go for WLS, just wish I had done it years earlier.

I hope that my experience helps you decide what to do. Good luck, whatever you decide.xx

Thanks @Cas54 !! So good to hear your experience and that you feel so good. It's nice to hear positive feedback. Sounds like you are well on your way...

[Lainey H 37]

@GassyGurl thanks for your insight. I love your observation that you are in control and everyone else it out of control. I do feel out of control and so desperately need to take control of my life.

@DropWt4Life I know 2nd thoughts are normal and I appreciate your comments. Did you feel like you had control of your eating prior to your surgery? I'm just thinking that if I had control, I could loose it without surgery. I know it's going to be an adjustment and a new way of living with food but I feel like I have tried to control it without surgery. Do you think it will be tougher for me b/c of sweet tooth?

@StartingFresh Good to hear your recovery is going so well. Puts my mind at ease!

[Lainey H 37]

14 hours ago, Diana_in_Philly said:

Here goes - I'm 14 months out. My biggest complication has been to create a budget for new clothes.

I'm 56. I have two teenage daughters - one a freshman in college, one a freshman in high school. At my highest known weight I was 271.5 (photos I have seen indicate I was probably larger at points, but didn't get on scales). That was April 2016. I had my surgery August 2016. I weigh 166 right now. My BMI went from 48 to 29. I still want to lose another 15 pounds. I'm 5'3".

Sometimes, I get nauseous if I eat things with too many carbs or too much sugar - that's my body reminding me not to go back to bad habits. It has happened about 4 times since surgery. I took my nausea meds for a day or two after surgery and that was it. I didn't use any pain pills after discharge from the hospital. I take a PPI daily and have no issues with heartburn or reflux. I drink wine when I want (but only after I have met my Protein and Water goals for the day and have calories left over to do so). I eat what my family eats because I cook for them. I use Barilla Protein Pasta instead of the regular Barilla pastas and we all have spaghetti or ziti together.

My bloodwork looks great. My team wants me to be a success story for our support groups. I've gone from barely fitting in a size 22 to being a size 8. My profile photo is from about six month ago - so its not accurate. I fence (en garde) 5 hours a week and work out in the gym another 2-3.

My biggest complication has been wrapping my head around the fact that I'm not fat anymore. I still, in my mind, see myself as the fat woman I have been for so long. I weigh less now than I did when my husband married me 20 years ago.

What makes this surgery successful or not is getting your head in the right place. If you are already resentful, then you are not in a good place to do this. You may want to work with a therapist on what is holding you back from taking care of yourself. This only works if you are going to make the plan work and are committed to it. I decided I didn't want to be the fat mom any more. That I wanted to be able to dance at my daughters' weddings when they married and not be in a wheelchair because my joints gave out from carrying almost 300 pounds on a 5'3" frame. I wanted to be healthy. The only regret I have is that I didn't do this 10 years sooner.

Best of luck on your journey.

Thanks Diana! This is what I need to hear... Congrats on your success. I actually have clothing in all sizes and I can't wait to fit into those smaller sizes. It's so interesting about still seeing yourself as fat woman. It's hard for me to wrap my brain around the fact that I am fat. lol. I still think I'm thin until I see my reflection or a pic.

Believe it or not I have been working on this for about 14 months. Started with hypnotherapy then weight loss doc with 4-5 Rx and social worker talking about mindful eating, a couple of books on obesity and GS and two surgeons and support groups and a couple of nutrionist and here I am. Honestly I really never found someone good to talk to about it. I would really love to understand more about why I eat so I can help prevent it but I think most docs / therapist would rather tackle how to change. Thanks for your input! It's so helpful.

[Lainey H 37]

10 hours ago, Sosewsue61 said:

Ditto what everyone has posted. I am sleeved one week, and on no pain meds, not regretting one minute. I too lost 70lbs on Weight Watchers and then stopped tracking and going to meetings and being honest.

You need to examine your attachment to food, and develop a better relationship with it. You might try counseling or reading some books by Geneen Roth.

As far as anecdotal evidence from the forums, everyone's health before surgery can determine the outcome plus different genetics. Also compliance - people can lie about what they are eating and drinking.

You alone need to make the choice based on what you want. Good luck.

Thanks @Sosewsue61 I put that book on my Amazon list and will download it this week. I have tried so many different approaches in the past 14 months giving myself a deadline to loose weight or go to surgery. I didn't loose weight and never found a therapist that was able to reach me. I did speak with a couple of social workers on mindful eating and even started a book but it just wasn't me. Did that book help you prepare for surgery?

Good luck with your weight loss journey!

[trailtramper 107]

Here goes - I'm 14 months out. My biggest complication has been to create a budget for new clothes.
I'm 56. I have two teenage daughters - one a freshman in college, one a freshman in high school. At my highest known weight I was 271.5 (photos I have seen indicate I was probably larger at points, but didn't get on scales). That was April 2016. I had my surgery August 2016. I weigh 166 right now. My BMI went from 48 to 29. I still want to lose another 15 pounds. I'm 5'3".
Sometimes, I get nauseous if I eat things with too many carbs or too much sugar - that's my body reminding me not to go back to bad habits. It has happened about 4 times since surgery. I took my nausea meds for a day or two after surgery and that was it. I didn't use any pain pills after discharge from the hospital. I take a PPI daily and have no issues with heartburn or reflux. I drink wine when I want (but only after I have met my Protein and Water goals for the day and have calories left over to do so). I eat what my family eats because I cook for them. I use Barilla Protein Pasta instead of the regular Barilla pastas and we all have spaghetti or ziti together.
My bloodwork looks great. My team wants me to be a success story for our support groups. I've gone from barely fitting in a size 22 to being a size 8. My profile photo is from about six month ago - so its not accurate. I fence (en garde) 5 hours a week and work out in the gym another 2-3.
My biggest complication has been wrapping my head around the fact that I'm not fat anymore. I still, in my mind, see myself as the fat woman I have been for so long. I weigh less now than I did when my husband married me 20 years ago.
What makes this surgery successful or not is getting your head in the right place. If you are already resentful, then you are not in a good place to do this. You may want to work with a therapist on what is holding you back from taking care of yourself. This only works if you are going to make the plan work and are committed to it. I decided I didn't want to be the fat mom any more. That I wanted to be able to dance at my daughters' weddings when they married and not be in a wheelchair because my joints gave out from carrying almost 300 pounds on a 5'3" frame. I wanted to be healthy. The only regret I have is that I didn't do this 10 years sooner.
Best of luck on your journey.

Love it!

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

@Lainey H The book made me realize that I was giving food too much power and I was carrying guilt. Each person has to get to their own truth.

[Angelika 17]

Hi, I am in my mid 50s.. I first booked surgery in 2014 went back and forth 3 times. Feeling afraid. Here I am now 3 years later and I go for surgery in 1 week.Nov 13. Now , I am positive. It took me time to decide, almost 3 years. It may take you time. It is a big decision but the benefit out ways any risk for me. I only need to loose 70 pounds but as I get older I do not have to energy that I want to live fully. I can't wait to finally have this done. I wish you well with your decision..

[Meryline 546]

Here is my tip, granted I'm only 7.5 months out, but I attend a monthly support group with 10 year plus veterans.

Stay on top of your supplements. Take your Vitamins, get tested every 3 months in the beginning, then every 6, and the vet in my group go about 3 times in 2 years. They still take their vitamins, just as they did in the beginning. You have to stay on top of it.

I think it's something people forget over time.

[Hannah83 214]

(waves) this forum isn't the only place to get advice from. actual face time at a support group does wonders. As others have said for each it's different. I was sleeved on Oct. 31st and am day seven out. I don't regret it because well I took my time, 2 years to be exact. And I scheduled the surgery 2 times as well. So, I'm ready for the road ahead. But all the views given were good.