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I'm hiding my surgery from family anyone else ?



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My sons are my only family and Im doing this on my own. Im self pay so Im strongly considering going to Mexico. Im nervous but very strong so Im sure I will be fine. Im not even sure why I dont want them to know, I just dont.

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My fear is that I'd be one of those few that would gain the weight back and then everyone would be saying, "See, I told you so, should have never done the surgery!" Not a soul knows on my end. They would have no idea how difficult it is, and what we go through. It DEFINITELY is NOT the easy way out!!

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Im no longer scared about going on my own as I have heard that many people do. Reach out here for support and questions. I have been approved for surgery and my tenative date is 10/28/17. IM EXCITED!

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5 hours ago, Mytimenow17 said:

My fear is that I'd be one of those few that would gain the weight back and then everyone would be saying, "See, I told you so, should have never done the surgery!" Not a soul knows on my end. They would have no idea how difficult it is, and what we go through. It DEFINITELY is NOT the easy way out!!

Amen

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1 hour ago, Sherry Rice said:

Im no longer scared about going on my own as I have heard that many people do. Reach out here for support and questions. I have been approved for surgery and my tenative date is 10/28/17. IM EXCITED!

Congratulation, everything will turn out fine!

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On 9/29/2017 at 3:29 PM, Mytimenow17 said:

My fear is that I'd be one of those few that would gain the weight back and then everyone would be saying, "See, I told you so, should have never done the surgery!" Not a soul knows on my end. They would have no idea how difficult it is, and what we go through. It DEFINITELY is NOT the easy way out!!

It most definitely is not the easy way out. Whatever I may have thought before, learning about it, taking the classes, talking to all the professionals and reading and studying about the surgery and afterwards and the diet....it will be the hardest thing I've done to help myself in 25 years.

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1 hour ago, BunnyJean said:

It most definitely is not the easy way out. Whatever I may have thought before, learning about it, taking the classes, talking to all the professionals and reading and studying about the surgery and afterwards and the diet....it will be the hardest thing I've done to help myself in 25 years.

amen

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I am also, only my wife and son know. I found out my wife has been talking to some of her coworkers and I am so mad about that I told her she is not welcome to take me to the hospital or see me or talk to doctors about it. She is an RN for 30+years but she should have not done that. Still very mad about it.

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I told my family online and my sister in law, seeings I told my sister in law I’m sure the rest of the exatended family knows how. I’ve been overweight since I was 3.. They all have made fun of me and no way supporting in anything I do. So it didn’t matter if they knew or not. The only one that matters is my 12 year old daughter.

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You guys make me feel so much better.

I've told my husband, who is my biggest source of support. I've also told my mom and sister, and hope that they have respected my wishes for privacy but who knows. Families can be whispery sorts. They're in the "we support you, but we're worried" camp.

The MIL, bless her heart. Nicest woman in the world but I know any info I give to her I'm essentially giving the consent for every person she strikes up a conversation with from here until EVER to know ALL my business. So I'm strategically withholding from all that noise 😂. Best wishes!

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18 hours ago, Nataliesmom said:

I told my family online and my sister in law, seeings I told my sister in law I’m sure the rest of the exatended family knows how. I’ve been overweight since I was 3.. They all have made fun of me and no way supporting in anything I do. So it didn’t matter if they knew or not. The only one that matters is my 12 year old daughter.

My heart breaks for you, and others that have similar situations. Let your daughter be your biggest cheerleader and motivation. Please disregard naysayers. Very few people in this world should matter, and I don't give those folks a place in my life anymore. Go through this journey with your little girl and stick around here for support with people that have the same goals and dreams. ❤️

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On 9/11/2017 at 4:58 PM, mzsantiago88 said:

I'm not telling my family that I am having surgery, is anyone else here doing the same ?

My husband, 2 of my grown children, 1 boss, and 3 friends. That's all I have and will tell. Along with 22000 people on this forum.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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