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Plans for family mealtime after surgery?



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Do you plan on sitting with your spouse/partner/children while they eat dinner?

If you are the traditional meal preparer, are you going to continue preparing the family meals, even though you won't be able to eat the same food for the first few months?

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Oh this is a good topic! I usually prepare meals. But I told my husband that for the first two weeks (at least), I will not be preparing meals and I will not be sitting with the family while they eat.

After I start on soft foods, I may start prepping meals again. I think it depends on how hungry I am. If I am ravenous, then I don't want to be near temptation and I will not cook. If the surgery really makes you not care about food (sure hope so), then I will probably start cooking.

I've already told them it's going to be healthier food. Going to stop keeping dessert in the house, etc. They hate me already :D

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My husband has been doing almost all the cooking. During the liquid diet he did ALL the cooking. Once I started purees, I started eating with the family again and I also slowly started cooking again.

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My older kids were spoiled enough to usually have dinner on the table. I work a crazy schedule and the younger two are all that is left at home, who are 17 years old, are usually on their own and nobody really bugs me about dinner anymore, including my hubby. So now when I do cook, usually on the weekend, they act like it is an act of God. They/we enjoy eating together so we make an honest attempt to make that happen for family time. For quite some time now, ever since I had my gallbladder out, I can't eat in the evenings because it bloats me too much. So I have had practice in sitting there and watching them eat while I facilitate conversation. Now there are times when I think I can't do it but I make myself out of knowing the sheer discomfort. Most of the time, though, like if we go out to eat or to my mother's house for dinner - I take it to go and eat it for Breakfast so now I won't be able to really do that. It might be different knowing I won't be able to even eat it later. I wonder how I will react. Maybe we will be having therapy sessions at the dinner table while I cry over not getting to eat what I want until my body adjusts to cutting out the sugar and facing a liquid diet for awhile.

So my plan is - "You are on your own and here is some money to go shop with." They will usually make decent food choices on their own outside of fast food. They are kind of uppity about it, like "why didn't you buy spinach?" or "we need more fruit around here" and "we should be eating more earthy." Not that they were raised to actually be that way. Hello, poptart queen and here is an extra helping of potatoes with extra butter on it - that is/was me. They are just food snobs. Or this is something else I hear, "you shouldnt be eating that, Mom." So I will most likely have the food police around me. That is what I get for letting have more control over what they choose to cook at night. Luckily, they do love fish and they know how to cook it either on the grill or in the oven with veggies, etc. So I may benefit from that later on. We have been trying to cut down on red meat. My step son would rather starve them feed himself and pretty much to love him is to feed him and he is hungry a lot because he runs long distance track. He will do it on his own but I think he would prefer otherwise and sucks it up.

But then the left overs. I am the left over lover. It will be so hard not to eat the leftovers for awhile.

Maybe, if I have them go do the shopping knowing what I can and cant eat that will help me to stay focused. I can't see anyone secretly trying to sabatoge me other than maybe my mother. Her house is like Willie Wonka and the chocolate factory over there and she is such a good cook.

Maybe I will start loving my family by doing their laundry rather than cooking for them. LOL! It is actually not a bad idea.

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Super good topic cause it really does make me "think."

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My pre-op diet allows me to have one small meal each day, so I am still eating dinner with them. My dinner is just modified. I guess I have a week to figure out how to deal with it post surgery!

Edited by ZinNH

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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