Do you still view yourself as "fat"

[shedo82773 1,236]

3 hours ago, katieroybal said:

YES!

For many years I was obese (OK, technically I still am) and developed an identity as a fat woman. What I wore, what I ate, how I sat, where I sat, who I talked to, vacations, exercise, clothing... even how I walked.

All these choices were made through the identity of being fat. Now, 4 or 5 months later, I'm suddenly not that person anymore? I don't think so. I spent years with this identify and that can't be unlearned right away.

It may take years to fully understand this new person that I am.

Before surgery I tried running. I could maybe run up to a minute before I had to stop and walk. My husband always encouraged me to call myself a running but I just didn't buy into it. I couldn't be a runner if I walked most of the mile. Now, as I'm building up running a full mile without stopping, I feel like a runner. I feel comfortable calling myself a runner. I can embrace it more comfortably.

I think the new identity will come with time and new lifestyle adaptions.

WOW!!! I can really relate to this. LOL I fell into the "FAT MODE" for many many years. There were a few things that I would NOT do because I am the FAT one!! I really got tired of being the biggest person in the room. Even if I wasn't the biggest person there. I had myself and my other family convince that they have to make sure they tie there shoes in the center and not to the sides. Because everyone will think you are a fatty. It sounds strange to me now and it has become the joke at our house. But...back then I knew it was the truth. Even today my hubby talks about it with a smile!!!

[CJ Sunshine 241]

WOW!!! I had myself and my other family convince that they have to make sure they tie there shoes in the center and not to the sides. Because everyone will think you are a fatty. It sounds strange to me now and it has become the joke at our house. But...back then I knew it was the truth. Even today my hubby talks about it with a smile!!!

OMG! My mom always told me to tie my shoes in the middle, because if they were tied on the side she said, "that's the way fat people tie them!" As if, at over 300 lbs, my shoes were what would give away that I am fat!!

[Awensraven 12]

I'm 14 years out of my gastric bypass surgery and I've lost 231 lbs. I've gone from 364 to 133. I've gained anfew back and lost it again over the years but I have never felt "skinny". I will still buy clothes two or three sizes too big if I don't try them on. I was always fat my entire life. Last time I was this weight I was nine. I'm just learning what it feels like to be small at 50! At this point I doubt I will ever feel normal and I still keep a stash of fat clothes in various sizes "just in case". Very self defeating but I just can't get over the idea that even after 14 years, its all a dream that's going to be snatched away at any time. My own little bizarre hang up I suppose. 😞 Not meant to bring anyone down just letting folks know the feelings may last a long time.

[xoxococojay 842]

Whoa reading all of these was impressive. At least i know i'm not going crazy, everyone goes through that phase.

In my case i have to see before and after pictures to see a huge difference. I have a some more weight to lose (especially in my mid section) before i hit my goal weight.

So this is the weird part. When i was heavy because of how i carried my weight. I obviously knew i wasn't skinny, but i never really felt fat either. I was curvy. Nobody else ever reffered to me as fat either or they would say things like "you aren't big enough to need weight loss surgery". But now that i've seen my before and afters and i've put an actual number to the amount of weight i've lost it registers that i was huge (for my frame).

Sometimes i still think that when people call me "skinny mini" it's because of where i started, not necessarily because i'm small. But idk.

I think like most people it's going to take my mind a while to finally catch up.

Attached are my current before and afters. Left is my highest weight back in 2015. Right is right now with about 40 more pounds left to lose. 8 months post op.

[FluffyChix 17,410]

You should totally change your avatar to a new one at your current weight. You were beautiful before, but it doesn't reflect how far you've come! Congrats. You're beautiful now, too!

[xoxococojay 842]

You should totally change your avatar to a new one at your current weight. You were beautiful before, but it doesn't reflect how far you've come! Congrats. You're beautiful now, too!

@fluffychix awww thank you hun!!! So stupid question, how do i change that lol? I have no idea.

[Apple1 2,572]

17 minutes ago, xoxococojay said:

@fluffychix awww thank you hun!!! So stupid question, how do i change that lol? I have no idea.

I agree with fluffychix you look beautiful. Congrats on your success!

[xoxococojay 842]

I agree with fluffychix you look beautiful. Congrats on your success!

Aww thank you sooo much!!! I read your post before, congrats on your amazing weight loss as well!

[FluffyChix 17,410]

1 hour ago, xoxococojay said:

@fluffychix awww thank you hun!!! So stupid question, how do i change that lol? I have no idea.

Go to your profile (click on the drop down menu beside your name in the upper right). Once there you will see your photo on the left inside the circle. You should see a little icon to the bottom left of it. Click on the icon, upload a new photo, move it around to crop it. And Voila! New photo!

In that same drop down menu (upper right), you can also edit your surgery and add a surgery date/surgeon/type of surgery, too! You can also add a ticker (dead easy to add), so that you can track all the weight loss and changes! Wahhhhooooo!

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

I still feel fat because of all the loose skin I have. And I still really love food I'm a foodie and that hasn't really changed.

My collarbone however says otherwise. I look a lot thinner and smaller than I feel. When I see pictures of myself and look at myself in the mirror, I am reminded of how small I really am.

The longer I stay in this size range, the smaller I feel. This time last year, I still felt and was plus size (I could wear regular and plus at that point). I have been in normal sizes only for almost a year now, so it is becoming more normalized. I feel like by this time next year even with loose skin, I will have completely adapted to my new size.

You don't spend 20 years over 300 pounds and suddenly feel thin.

[vamping 183]

Did anyone else have spatial/manueverability issues too? I am continually misjuding my size in relation to other objects and/or thinking I have more "padding" than I actually do. My legs are beat up from running into things.

[Berry78 4,259]

10 minutes ago, vamping said:

Did anyone else have spatial/manueverability issues too? I am continually misjuding my size in relation to other objects and/or thinking I have more "padding" than I actually do. My legs are beat up from running into things.

My balance has been off (twice I have "fallen" off a short ladder.. I feel it coming, so jump down, avoiding injury), and my joints are less stable (especially my knees). Gym time and physical therapy should help, I hope.

[Travelher 915]

my answer to this questions depends on the minute. I go from "omg I look hawt!" to" how do I hide x? ". To, no I can't possibly be this thin now...to...well you get it.

2 things I know...The scale lies ...the mirror lies...pictures do not.

When i look in the mirror, 50% of the time I think I need to lose more. I saw pictures of myself this weekend at a wedding and finally realized that I 100% do not need to lose more and need to hold my weight right where it is. I looked slim, maybe even skinny in the pictures...it was a real shock to me. So I'm good where I am. Now I just need to maintain.

[heycrystal2052 430]

I'm so proud of how far I've come, I don't tend to refer to myself or see myself as being fat. It's funny, one day before getting to that point, I said to my boyfriend "ugh, I'm so fat", and he reminded me of how far I've come and I'm no longer that girl. I need to embrace the woman I've become and the curves are delightful. LOL Technically, on paper, my BMI is still not where it should be....but, considering I started at almost 70-BMI and am now almost at 30, gurrrrl YAS!! I am not fat, hear me roar!

[xoxococojay 842]

I still feel fat because of all the loose skin I have. And I still really love food I'm a foodie and that hasn't really changed.
My collarbone however says otherwise. I look a lot thinner and smaller than I feel. When I see pictures of myself and look at myself in the mirror, I am reminded of how small I really am.
The longer I stay in this size range, the smaller I feel. This time last year, I still felt and was plus size (I could wear regular and plus at that point). I have been in normal sizes only for almost a year now, so it is becoming more normalized. I feel like by this time next year even with loose skin, I will have completely adapted to my new size.
You don't spend 20 years over 300 pounds and suddenly feel thin.

You're right about that!