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Not advertising my Surgery, What to tell close people you dont want to share with?



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I am one week Pre Op. I know its the silliest of concerns, but what have you told people that you just dont want to share with? People that

you are social with? Drink with , eat with and go out with weekly? Told my close family, but just dont feel like advertising or sharing with others.

any input is appreciated.

Thank you

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I don't plan to tell many people when I have surgery either, because I just don't want to deal with the negativity. Also, my medical history is none of their business. Right now I'm in a pre-op weight loss for3 months and am striving to follow a high Protein, low carb way of eating. My coworkers, for example, know that I'm hi-pro/lo-carb. I figure once I have surgery, they can continue to think high protein, low carb, because, frankly, that will still be the truth about my eating. Not sure yet what I'll tell them about being out for 2 weeks, but likely most won't ask.

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I didn't tell anyone except my mom and husband. I told everyone else I had a hiatal hernia repair. (Which I also had anyway) the scars, recovery and post op diet are similar. And I told everyone that I used the restrictive diet and the weight loss that followed as a springboard for further weight loss. Nobody questioned it.

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I told some people at work, but by the time I actually had surgery, everyone at work knew since I was going to be gone for 4 weeks and I only work with like 25 people. I had no problem telling anyone after surgery though. I had one of my regular patrons know I had surgery just because I had lost so much weight in just a short period of time.

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i work from home so co workers are not an issue. it is more of the people that i socialize with daily. Like where am im going for those 2 days, and how come i cant drink at all afterwards? Drinking was our Thurs, Fri, Sat thing.

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My standard response:

I eat 60-90 grams of Protein a day, I have pretty much eliminated bread, Pasta, potatoes, sugar and rice from my diet. I work out for at least an hour 5 days a week I work with a medical team and a trainer. I drink at least 64 ounces of Water a day.

All of that is true. None of it mentions my surgery but it enough that people go - oh - I could never give up . . . insert item here.

I told my husband, two teen daughters and two best friends. Did not tell my mother or my sister. I'm one year out next week.

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For the drinking and those 2 days, maybe you could say you arent feeling well and staying home, you can then say your on antibiotics or say your doing a detox to get things back in order after being "sick". With that said, i am about 11 months post op and do have an occasional drink (wine) which was ok with my surgeon and nut-not sure how your specialists feel about it.

Sent from my SM-G935P using BariatricPal mobile app

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It's funny, I use my kids forks and spoons from when they were toddlers at work. A few people have commented on them. I just say it's so handy to bring to work. No one yet has commented on my small portion sizes (1/4 cup) but if anyone does I will just tell them I'm eating 6 smaller meals per day, or that I had a Protein Drink not that long ago so I'm not that hungry.

My co workers knew I had surgery and only one asked what it was for. When I told her, "oh, you know, just surgery", she felt bad for asking and apologized. Who knows what they think I had surgery for.

When coworkers tell me how good I look or ask weight related questions I mention how I've been losing weight since April (initial surgeon consult) so it doesn't seem like I lost all this weight so fast.

I just don't want questions or comments about how their aunt had WLS and now she's gained it all back...

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I am one week Pre Op. I know its the silliest of concerns, but what have you told people that you just dont want to share with? People that
you are social with? Drink with , eat with and go out with weekly? Told my close family, but just dont feel like advertising or sharing with others.
any input is appreciated.
Thank you


So I'm in the early stages, I'm waiting to get the call to schedule my consult with surgeon. But I've told my parents and husband, and 2 close friends. I have a large group of friends and family that I will most likely not tell because I'm normally a private person. And don't feel like I need to explain my weightloss. Especially my in laws.... that's all they will talk about and I guess I'm embarrassed about it... I don't mind sharing my story with someone whom is struggling and would like help. But this is personal for me and I guess I'm sensitive to others and their thoughts.

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I'm telling people I had a hernia repair and while they were in there, a procedure so I couldn't eat as much. For work people, the hernia is enough, for family and friends, it's based on how judgey I think they'll be.

But it turns out my hernia was much worse than we thought, so I feel totally fine with leaving it at that. I used to keep tums on my desk at work, so people knew I was having issues.

Sent from my XT1254 using BariatricPal mobile app

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I told everyone and I have an amazing support system as a result. When I originally posted, I asked anyone with a negative opinion to kindly keep it to themselves. My friends even threw me a huge food funeral party and have been a huge encouragement. The only way to break the stigma is to be open.

Stephanie Lowe
Sleeved 8/7/17
HW 236
SW 224

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I keep mine private too. Just my hubby and my niece who had the surgery know. My hubby has changed his eating habits as well. We both go to the same pcp. We say to people, " we gave a new pcp and she has us both on a strict program and wants us to lose weight. We are compliant because we both want to get into better health.
So far I have lost 27lbs since Jan but no one noticed or said anything. I still gont know what I will say when confronted with a nasty remark like, "well you must have had weight loss surgery" depending on the tone of the remark, I may be nice or turn into a succubus and tear their head off....
I do know if I hear the " you took the easy way out " comment, I am coming unhinged, all bets are off and I will explode. ...
Until then, mum is the word...blaming the new pcp, it's no one's business and I don't need the negativity.

HW 274 SW 263 GW 125 GASTRIC SLEEVE 7/21/17. Height 5'1" instagram: K_aane_VSG

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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