Well yesterday was my first time going out to eat since my sleeve surgery June 22. Me and my husband went to ruby Tuesday's because he is trying to eat better too. They have an awesome salad bar. When I got there I ordered a water even though I knew I couldn't drink it before eating. I felt awkward looking at the menu since I'm technically still on pureed diet and burnt out on soup. Finally I ordered a side of mashed potatoes loaded. The waitress looked at me strange and asked " is that all for you?" I just said I'm on a soft diet right now because I really didn't want to tell everyone in the restaurant about my surgery. Once she brought it out and said " will that be enough" and I told her yes plenty. I removed the butter and sour cream and nibbled on the potatoes, cheese, and bacon. It tasted great. I only ate a couple bites and the waitress asked again " are your potatoes ok?" I told her they were great and asked for a box. I enjoyed the time out with my husband and we talked and had a good time but it was just awkward having to explain why I wasn't eating. I know she was doing her job she was a nice waitress and I'm sure she was thinking why is this big girl not eating. Anybody else feel like this going out?

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You have to own it -- you say:

Thank you, the potatoes are very good, but I'm on a special physician prescribed diet right now and can only eat a bit at a time.

I would have mentioned to the manager that the waitress was asking about the food in a way that made you uncomfortable so retraining could be done.

My line, even now 11 months out, is Oh my, everything is delicious but I just can't eat another bite. Can I have a to-go box? With a really big smile.

Only you can make yourself feel uncomfortable or awkward about your surgery. 99.5% of the people I know and don't know, have no idea I had surgery. If anyone asks about the way I eat, I just say I'm on a medically supervised weight loss program for health issues. Period. If anyone asks more, I repeat the same answer to make it clear that the discussion of this topic is over or go to - How Bout those Phillies?

We are twinning. My surgery was also june 22 and yesterday we took in laws out for a belated Father's Day. They don't know I had vsg surgery, just that I had a haiatal hernia and my bike ducts fixed so I am on a soft diet. My surgeon released me for ground meat and fish already. I was torn about ordering shrimp or a potato. I decided on a baked potato and ate two tiny shrimp from my hubby- I didn't mention it was Red Lobster. Anyway, I just mentioned that I was on a soft diet and our waitress was very nice , no probing questions. It was yummy. I only ate my 2 ounces. Left feeling satisfied . I posted this on another site and got great concerns from other patients- I know a potato isn't a great choice, but life isn't over and it fit the texture restraints so I don't feel it was an awful choice.

I agree I ordered a water too- didn't touch it- that really has been the hardest part of the diet but I understand why it is so important. I just hope I get used to it soon!

I have told everyone I know I had tge surgery so I don't have a problem with that. But I just don't think I should announce it to everyone in a restaurant. I did tell the waitress I was on a soft diet. I live in a small town in the south and I really think the waitress was being nice and making sure I was enjoying the food. I think it was just my first outing and will get easier in time. Once I get off this pureed diet and have more choices I can order a more balanced plate. Mashed potatoes just seemed to be one of my only choices. I can see spending a lot of money when I only eat 2 bites. Honestly I really wanted a cocktail more than anything but I powered through. Not gonna risk this new way of life on something I don't need.

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I always order a water because it's easier! Sharing is always my go to, because no one questions that! Hubby eats 80% and I eat 20%. Or he and the kids order and I say "I'm just gonna eat part of theirs"

I never give the waitress a chance to ask a thing. We wave her off that we are fine. I would not complain about a server being over attentive, because they already get it for being not attentive. She cannot figure out everyone's eating habits. When I was first sleeved four years ago, I ate before I went out and sipped tea, or I ordered a cup of bisque, and sipped a little. The focus was laughing and talking. Really, I have figured out the servers have a job to do and don't worry about us as much as we think they do, LOL!!!!!

I went to lunch with my mom and 2 brothers and I just asked for a plate and said we'd share. It was great because I got a bite of each of their meals! lol

Yes, this is still tricky for me too. I agree with sharing a plate. That helps. Another thing I do is say I'll start with this and see if I'm still hungry. Or I'll say I had a big breakfast/lunch and my eyes were bigger than my stomach. We can't change how servers react, I think we have to develop a technique/dialog that works for us.

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My wife and I went out for Mexican food today. I'm seven weeks post op. We skipped the chips and salsa (fortunately she's eating keto as well) she got Mexican style chicken and steamed veggies and I got grilled chicken that came with a side of rice and beans. It was a lunch portion so I easily ate the chicken and a couple bites of refried beans. I pushed the rice around. We sat and talked and it was not awkward at all. Once you can eat real food it gets easier.

When we go out I share from DHs plate and will often order a water and small side salad or side of veggies. I get looked at strange and often respond that I'm sharing or not very hungry (the truth).

Early on when we would go out I too was shy about waitstaff inquiring about why I wasn;t eating. I would give reasons like 'didn't feel well', 'ate before we left', or 'recovering from surgery'.

It will get better! Especially when you can move on from soft foods to real foods. In the mean time keep doing the potato, soup and even ask your doctor if you can have salmon as a soft food

I wonder what it will be like to go out after I am losing weight because we go to the same places and see the same waitress. (Being fat supports alot of jobs )...lol
Hubby says babe you can't hide it when your body changes people will notice.
I am kinda excited and hope I just manage a big smile and say, "I am hoping to just share some of his food and not get my fingers bit off".
Hehee. ...big smile,,,big smile!
Surgery 7-21

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We are twinning. My surgery was also june 22 and yesterday we took in laws out for a belated Father's Day. They don't know I had vsg surgery, just that I had a haiatal hernia and my bike ducts fixed so I am on a soft diet. My surgeon released me for ground meat and fish already. I was torn about ordering shrimp or a potato. I decided on a baked potato and ate two tiny shrimp from my hubby- I didn't mention it was Red Lobster. Anyway, I just mentioned that I was on a soft diet and our waitress was very nice , no probing questions. It was yummy. I only ate my 2 ounces. Left feeling satisfied . I posted this on another site and got great concerns from other patients- I know a potato isn't a great choice, but life isn't over and it fit the texture restraints so I don't feel it was an awful choice.
I agree I ordered a water too- didn't touch it- that really has been the hardest part of the diet but I understand why it is so important. I just hope I get used to it soon!

Yeah the not drinking with meals is hard. I used to drink like 3 sweet teas when we would go out for dinner. Now I literally time my last bite can't wait to have my water. I feel thirsty all the time I'm definitely getting in my 64 ozs.

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I think she was just being attentive and trying to make sure you were satisfied. My first meal, technically, was minestrone broth on my layover when I flew home from surgery. But my first actual meal in a restaurant with friends was quiche, I just didn't eat the crust. And it was like 4 bites. Ha. My friend Jill who is a loudmouth (god love her) demanded to know why I wasn't eating and I told her I just ate a little bit before and wasn't really hungry yet. Took the quiche home and it lasted me the whole week. I save so much money on food now!

I had my surgery on May 2nd, I waited till I was able to eat whole foods till I went to a restaurant, my main reason is because I don't like to spend money on something I won't eat. When I did finally go, I asked to order from the children's menu because I had surgery, didn't say what kind, just that I had surgery. However I do feel comfortable telling people I had weight lost surgery, I feel like it's something I choose and I'm going to own it. I'm not saying everyone should be that way, I'm just saying that that's been the best way for me to deal with all of it.

I had my surgery on May 2nd, I waited till I was able to eat whole foods till I went to a restaurant, my main reason is because I don't like to spend money on something I won't eat. When I did finally go, I asked to order from the children's menu because I had surgery, didn't say what kind, just that I had surgery. However I do feel comfortable telling people I had weight lost surgery, I feel like it's something I choose and I'm going to own it. I'm not saying everyone should be that way, I'm just saying that that's been the best way for me to deal with all of it.

Yeah I'm not ashamed of the surgery I'm proud I took the step. It was a lot of work. It took 10 months of commitment to get approved through my insurance. 6 months of doctors appointments. A boat load of out of pocket expenses. And I've been fat for years and it makes me feel good that people are noticing my weight loss. If they ask I tell them. I've dropped so fast people probably would think all kind of negative ideas to why I'm losing weight. I think this is a positive so proud I took the leap. It was not an easy decision to make. And I'll get there with the restaurant situation once I have more choices.

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