I don't know what to do

[Joann454 1,329]

Because I didn't do the head work before surgery I'm at a loss when I want comfort. In most ways I didn't even know I ate to comfort myself. I didn't know why I was fat other than I ate the wrong foods. So now I'm faced with the one year anniversary of my dad's death and all I want is my old "friend". I'm actually a little shocked at how much I used food to soothe me. The only way I'm aware of it now is because I can't!

I don't eat when I'm worried but any other kind of emotion (sad, tired etc) I used food.

It's weird because I feel raw and exposed and am forced to find a different way of coping.

I would never jeopardize my sleeve and eat and I'm so grateful for it because I'd have blown any diet I was on right now. Plus it's high time I learn to not stuff my feelings with food. This was a real eye opener.

I loathe therapy and don't suffer from depression but I'd love to hear how others like me learned to cope with feelings they used to eat away.

[sylvia2017 166]

I'm 1 week post op and I've had a couple times I've felt like this. I've been Journaling my daily experience. When I go back and read it I really it's getting easier everyday. I'm from the south and every get together we have revolves around food. With the fourth of July coming up I'm nervous. My husband and family will still bbq I've got to find a way to be part of this and watch everyone eat. I worry it will be hard on me. Guess I'll eat my yogurt and keep my eye on the prize. I've lost 29 lbs in one week so I know this works just gotta work out the mental part. You are not alone in this.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using BariatricPal mobile app

[Joann454 1,329]

I'm 1 week post op and I've had a couple times I've felt like this. I've been Journaling my daily experience. When I go back and read it I really it's getting easier everyday. I'm from the south and every get together we have revolves around food. With the fourth of July coming up I'm nervous. My husband and family will still bbq I've got to find a way to be part of this and watch everyone eat. I worry it will be hard on me. Guess I'll eat my yogurt and keep my eye on the prize. I've lost 29 lbs in one week so I know this works just gotta work out the mental part. You are not alone in this.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using BariatricPal mobile app

Thanks Sylvia. Social functions are less awkward at over a month out for me but you will do just fine. I just moved to the south a few years ago and the food is crazy good and crazy fattening!
29 lbs in a week?!!! Wow! That's what I've lost in 7 weeks!

[sylvia2017 166]

Well I imagine most of it was Fluid. I can't remember the last time my feet and legs weren't swollen. No more cankles for me. But I've tried really hard to stick to the diet and drink lots of Water. I hope now that I'm not as nauseous I will continue to lose.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using BariatricPal mobile app

[YeaMe 246]

I am in your same shoes. Last week was the 2 year anniversary of both my parents passing. I went out to walk to clear my head and walked for 3 hours straight. I think my mind and body knew it had to be exhausted to get through the day.

My heart is with you.

[Navigating the Wilderness 824]

1 hour ago, Joann454 said:

Because I didn't do the head work before surgery I'm at a loss when I want comfort. In most ways I didn't even know I ate to comfort myself. I didn't know why I was fat other than I ate the wrong foods. So now I'm faced with the one year anniversary of my dad's death and all I want is my old "friend". I'm actually a little shocked at how much I used food to soothe me. The only way I'm aware of it now is because I can't!

Oh Joann, I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. You have been one of my favorites with such positive comments!

So, first off, there isn't any head work you could have done pre-op to fully prepare for this. None of us truly knows how we will react after surgery, so please don't think of it that way.

I will tell you exactly what to do about these feelings as soon as I figure it out myself. I can tell you that with continued positive eating habits it does get easier to not think about food as a consolation, but I certainly had/have my days when I miss certain foods, especially on bad days.

There certainly were days where I felt unsure what to do with myself as I had spent so much time previously planning my whole day around food. There were also a few times I took a nap just to get food off my mind.

Writing this out makes it sound worse than it really was. I did seek help from a psychologist which lasted two sessions before we both determined I really didn't need any help, I just needed time to get used to the new me.

[Joann454 1,329]

Oh Joann, I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. You have been one of my favorites with such positive comments!
So, first off, there isn't any head work you could have done pre-op to fully prepare for this. None of us truly knows how we will react after surgery, so please don't think of it that way.
I will tell you exactly what to do about these feelings as soon as I figure it out myself. I can tell you that with continued positive eating habits it does get easier to not think about food as a consolation, but I certainly had/have my days when I miss certain foods, especially on bad days.
There certainly were days where I felt unsure what to do with myself as I had spent so much time previously planning my whole day around food. There were also a few times I took a nap just to get food off my mind.
Writing this out makes it sound worse than it really was. I did seek help from a psychologist which lasted two sessions before we both determined I really didn't need any help, I just needed time to get used to the new me.

This is a huge relief to read! I was just telling myself "you don't know what you don't know" and I sure didn't know!
I can't tell you how much better I feel.
Thank you [emoji4]

[Joann454 1,329]

I am in your same shoes. Last week was the 2 year anniversary of both my parents passing. I went out to walk to clear my head and walked for 3 hours straight. I think my mind and body knew it had to be exhausted to get through the day.
My heart is with you.

I'm so sorry for you as well. I lost my mom six years ago and my dad last year. They were married for 57 years and were both amazing parents. Neither would want me to eat because I was sad about their anniversaries. Actually, neither would want me to be sad and I'll bet your parents would feel the same. Hugs.

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

I am interested in the responses because I am preop and I know that is me too.

I think it's so hard to just 'sit with emotions' and fully feel them. We want them to go away and fast! And food floods the body with those chemicals that ease that pain of facing things head on. I hope I can exercise some of it away, or pull out a yoga tape, but I don't know.

I hope you find what works for you.

[Navigating the Wilderness 824]

18 minutes ago, Joann454 said:

I was just telling myself "you don't know what you don't know"

Yes, exactly!!

[Joann454 1,329]

I am interested in the responses because I am preop and I know that is me too.
I think it's so hard to just 'sit with emotions' and fully feel them. We want them to go away and fast! And food floods the body with those chemicals that ease that pain of facing things head on. I hope I can exercise some of it away, or pull out a yoga tape, but I don't know.
I hope you find what works for you.

I hope you can too. It's a whole new world.
I looked at pictures (damn Facebook memories) and just cried. I miss them and that's ok. I didn't eat to feel better and for me that's a win. It's just amazing that I wasn't even aware I did that. At least you're aware. You'll be more prepared for the feelings.

[Apple1 2,572]

I can certainly relate to how you are feeling Joan. I didn't realize how much time I spent pre surgery eating. There have been days I just didn't know what to do with myself. We are learning so much about ourselves now that we just took for granted before.

I have started running and this is giving me something else to focus on. Maybe a new hobby would help?

[Joann454 1,329]

I can certainly relate to how you are feeling Joan. I didn't realize how much time I spent pre surgery eating. There have been days I just didn't know what to do with myself. We are learning so much about ourselves now that we just took for granted before.
I have started running and this is giving me something else to focus on. Maybe a new hobby would help?

I have always wanted to paint but I was waiting for the cold weather. I'm envious of your energy. I'm still lacking much.
I will have to find something though. Eating for comfort is no longer an option.

[justbrez 16]

I'm a week pre-op, in the middle of my two week liquid diet. Have been dealing with LOTS of emotions. I'm all over the place! Without food, I'm being forced to listen to myself, what my body and spirit need. I'm a felter and beader, so have been doing lots of these to keep busy. But also sitting in my garden, watching flowers and birds and chipmunks. And taking naps when I need to. (Not sleeping well from getting up to pee so often [emoji4]). I figure I'm getting a baby tummy, I'm also re-learning how to live.

[IveGotThePower 395]

I am 15 months post op now and I went through a period of feeling deprived, but do not feel that way anymore. I see a nutritionist who has helped me to change my eating choices in ways that I truly enjoy. There are many ways you can enjoy foods in a healthy way. I just made Bone Broth for the first time today. Healthy and low calorie. I am getting into different tea flavors instead of Water. I do tons of veggies in combination with Proteins. Spinach, onion, sausage and cheese omlet with homemade chimichanga sauce. chicken crust pizza with lots of veggies and cheese. A nice salad with a piece of marinated salmon and skinny girl dressing . Chicken with roasted or steamed veggies. Blue cheese burgers. Turkey meatballs with marinera sauce. We still have many delicious choices. I still enjoy food as much as I did before and I think it is more about finding our balance than stressing over the scale. Keep searching for your balance. A place where you are healthy and comfortable.