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Hi all! I'm am getting sleeves on 7/12/17. I am wondering how your weight loss journey has impacted your relationship with your significant other... good, bad, ugly.

I have heard a lot about how differently the world will treat me, but I'm interested in what I should prepare for at home.

Thanks!

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It had no impact on my life. I coached my wife up very well on what to expect and made sure she was fully into it before I went under the knife. She has been awesome about it and has never once complained about the changes that had to be made post-op. In the rare event that she wants to eat something that I can't/won't she goes out and eats it without me, which I am totally fine with. We have never had a single argument over the surgery.

Edited by Navigating the Wilderness

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My relationship was fantastic before surgery and is still fantastic. Wife went to all appointments with me and started a diet when I started my preop diet. She's lost as much weight as I have and if anything we're even happier.
Maybe it depends on what your relationship was like before surgery but it's had no negative impact on our relationship.

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My husband had a previous girlfriend who was sleeve and a year later cheated on him, got pregnant, and never paid him back since she was cash paying. So when I was thinking about having the surgery, I told him I would not do anything without his blessing. He went with me to the orientation, which was not required with his ex since it was cash. This sealed the deal with. Him. Hearing that only 3% of morbidly obese people can loose the weight on their own and keep it off for the rest of their lives, with the fact that my grandmother was diagnosed with estrogen based breast cancer(fat fed), My father died at the age of 37 from liver cancer, and lastly let's not forget, 75% of family on both my mother and father's side are at some for obesity. Genetics was not on my side.

I am now 6 months out from being sleeved, and the best complement he has given me was that everything he experienced with his ex was totally different with me. In a positive way. I am at 93 lbs weight loss, and he normally ends up finishing what little I have left when we cook at home. If we eat out, we see if we can either split a meal or I get my own and have left overs for lunch and dinner the next day. If he wants his KFC, then u just make something small for me, that I know he really doesn't care for. So far so good, but communication is key!!

Kitty

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My wife went to many of my appointments and we talk about everything so there was no surprises. Subsequently, no changes in the relationship either. Doing just fine. She did change up her diet to her own modified version of what my diet is.. and she's doing a lot better than me at tracking/weighing -- she suffers from PCOS and I think had a BMI of 35'ish. I bugged the crap out of her to ditch the regular Coke, and while she stopped that, she's had occasional Coke Zero's since, not regular soda.

We communicate more about food, are a lot more careful and observant of nutrition details of wherever we eat, and are very restrictive on our daughter having junk food. Daughter's weight has never been an issue, but we want to keep it that way.

Edited by PatientEleventyBillion

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I'm so happy to hear these positive stories!

My boyfriend is average weight. I am doing my surgery in Mexico, because I am self-pay, so he won't be with me. I am trying to keep him informed and educated, but he doesn't really understand the struggles. Just today he ordered pizza, forgetting that I started my preop diet.
Anyone else face this type of situation?


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I'm so happy to hear these positive stories!

My boyfriend is average weight. I am doing my surgery in Mexico, because I am self-pay, so he won't be with me. I am trying to keep him informed and educated, but he doesn't really understand the struggles. Just today he ordered pizza, forgetting that I started my preop diet.
Anyone else face this type of situation?




Try to nicely stress the importance of his support. I have had to "remind " my husband about this. The hardest thing for me is him drinking beer. Or wanting to go out for a beer. It is really tough at first. As long as uou can keep your will power strong you can do it. If I am really hankering for a beer, I'll take sip maybe two of my husband and that is it. Baby steps.

Kitty

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My husband has been very supportive. He went with me to Mexico and has been eating mostly whatever I cook for him. I do all the shopping and no junk food ever enters our house.

Our relatinship is as great as it has always been.

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My husband has no weight issues, but I have been heavy for all of my teen and adult life. My husband is supportive, but he eats anything he wants. I am only 1 week post-op and go in today to have my staples removed. My husband has had sandwiches, pizza, cheeseburgers in front of my since the surgery. I don't have the same appetite as I did before (and I was a bottomless pit), so it doesn't bother me much. The smell of food is fantastic, but that doesn't mean I want to eat it all. I have decided that although my husband supports me; I need to support me! This is my journey and it is up to me to be successful! The 'bad' food isn't going away - we have to learn to make smarter choices!!

The pre-op diet was the hardest because I still had to ability to eat whatever I wanted but was told not to! I've tried not to limit my husband when he doesn't have the need to be on a diet. I lost 12 lbs on my pre-op diet and it really does help the healing afterwards! Best of luck!!

Im so happy to have others to share with in these forums! 😊

Edited by MassMel

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I'm 3 months post op. We've been married 16 years. My husband is heavy.

My diet is my diet. I cook for me separately from what I cook for him and the kids.

I would love for my hubby to jump on the health train, but it's like running into a brick wall. There is no changing him. He drinks soda, eats ice cream, etc etc.

My delimma is whether to stay with him when (not if!) he has strokes and diabetes. We live with his father who has both. His older brother has had both too.

How am I supposed to feel about someone that is headed down a dangerous path, and refuses to change course? (And it will be me who has to pick up the pieces)...

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51 minutes ago, Berry78 said:

My delimma is whether to stay with him when (not if!) he has strokes and diabetes. We live with his father who has both. His older brother has had both too.

I feel for you. My mom had both also and a major stroke took her life last year. This was my wake up call. I pray your husband will come to his senses and decide to make some healthy changes.

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We've been married for 21 years, and my husband has always been of average weight. He prefers salad and healthy foods, but also enjoys eating out and indulging on occasion, which I think is normal. We have 3 children, 14, 12, and 5, so the meals I prepare myself are different than what I prepare for them. I am 3.5 weeks post op, so I'm still on purées. I've lost 19.5 pounds! My husband was and has been super supportive of the surgery, and came with me to almost every appointment. I want us to live a long and healthy life together, and I feel like my weight loss will help us with that [emoji4]


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My wife has been supportive since the beginning. She attended my Dr. & Nutritionist appointments so she could learn and ask questions about the procedure and my new lifestyle. She cooks all of my meals and weighs my food. She cut back on her diet as well. As I lost 125 lbs, she lost 55 without surgery. She goes to costco and picks up my Premier shakes. She goes shopping and buys me new clothes that she'd like to see me where. She comes with me to Planet fitness. She now calls me her "skinny husband". Of course, the sex has been pretty great too.

I read so much pre-surgery about the divorce rate being so high for bariatric patients, I'm a bit surprised how my marriage has only improved.

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We've been married for 21 years, and my husband has always been of average weight. He prefers salad and healthy foods, but also enjoys eating out and indulging on occasion, which I think is normal. We have 3 children, 14, 12, and 5, so the meals I prepare myself are different than what I prepare for them. I am 3.5 weeks post op, so I'm still on purées. I've lost 19.5 pounds! My husband was and has been super supportive of the surgery, and came with me to almost every appointment. I want us to live a long and healthy life together, and I feel like my weight loss will help us with that [emoji4]




How do you like the puréed phase? I start mine next week. I am really looking forward to leaving the liquid phase but the thought of puréed meat doesn't sound appealing.
Mel


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My husband has been outstanding through the whole process. The surgical part of it was no issue for him as he's a surgical tech so he's seen the surgery done before. I actually calmed me down regarding the surgical process.

As for diets and meals, he's been eating healthier and has lost 60 pounds on his own. He's really good at keeping me in line and being a shoulder when I need one. We have two small children so we're trying to teach them healthy eating habits now so they don't have the weight issues we did.

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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