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To scale or not to scale



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Friends: I'm about 6 wks out from my surgery and have been following a restricted calorie diet in order to lose consistently before the big day--about 1800 calories a day. I started at 357, now I'm at 331. But here's the thing: I have spent much of my life struggling not only with eating and weight, but with the scale. For years I'd weigh myself 2 or 3 times a day. I went without one for several years, but now I have one again and I mostly stick to once a week. But I'm still strongly affected by the numbers. My whole day can be made or blown by what's on the scale. If I haven't lost anything, or what I think I should have, I beat myself up. If I gain, I tend to then overeat. I know, objectively, about fluctuations, and about focusing on behaviors rather than numbers, but I still struggle.

In choosing WLS, my main objective is to lose weight and maintain a lower weight because of a degenerative disease I have in my achille's tendons and heels. I really am not focused on a specific number. Still I get so caught up in what the scale says! And honestly, it's hard not to pay attention to the scale because every time I go to the doctor (for anything!) I get weighed, so they are also using it as the first evaluation of my success.

Now I'm wondering if I should just get rid of my home scale altogether so that I can focus on other measures of success, but the thought terrifies me. Has anyone done this? Or are glad they have a bathroom scale? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

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Friends: I'm about 6 wks out from my surgery and have been following a restricted calorie diet in order to lose consistently before the big day--about 1800 calories a day. I started at 357, now I'm at 331. But here's the thing: I have spent much of my life struggling not only with eating and weight, but with the scale. For years I'd weigh myself 2 or 3 times a day. I went without one for several years, but now I have one again and I mostly stick to once a week. But I'm still strongly affected by the numbers. My whole day can be made or blown by what's on the scale. If I haven't lost anything, or what I think I should have, I beat myself up. If I gain, I tend to then overeat. I know, objectively, about fluctuations, and about focusing on behaviors rather than numbers, but I still struggle.
In choosing WLS, my main objective is to lose weight and maintain a lower weight because of a degenerative disease I have in my achille's tendons and heels. I really am not focused on a specific number. Still I get so caught up in what the scale says! And honestly, it's hard not to pay attention to the scale because every time I go to the doctor (for anything!) I get weighed, so they are also using it as the first evaluation of my success.
Now I'm wondering if I should just get rid of my home scale altogether so that I can focus on other measures of success, but the thought terrifies me. Has anyone done this? Or are glad they have a bathroom scale? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Oh how I can relate to this. I have been trying to force myself to only weigh once a week but that weight definitely has an impact on my mood and how I feel. Even if I followed everything to the letter I can't help but feel bad. Yesterday I "gained" a pound. It wasn't my weigh in day but "I felt fat" so I weighed. Wth is wrong with me? Was I hoping it would be down so I could "feel less fat"? Idk. I have no answers for you. Sorry. I just relate to this.

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If you're affected by numbers from the scale, I would recommend not using it. I don't weigh myself (I did for my 1st month post op), but I wait until my doctor's appointments. The numbers affect me too. I even don't count calories either. So, I understand. I'm doing well without it.

Edited by Newme17

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I have read before that using for an obese person having had weight lose surgery is like a diabetic having to check their blood sugar. I really liked the comparison because we do need the scale to check in on how we're doing with our condition. I do understand how hard it it though. I struggle like you are. If I find it's getting bad I put the scale away for a little bit (like in the closet of another room). Not sure if this helps at all, good luck to you.


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Speaking for myself - to manage this as a permanent change, I must use the scale. What I have been dealing with is rehabilitating my relationship to the scale.

To effectively manage the disease (obesity) that I have, I must deal rigorously what the facts - calorie intake, Protein intake, the quality of the nutrients and most fundamentally my weight.

In my job I use statistics rigorously to deal with my performance and the performance of my team. This is no different. I weigh myself daily at the same time (after I pee and brush my teeth). I record what it says - no drama, this morning 296 is just what it says.

I have lost weight many times in my life - losing weight has never been my problem. I have discovered that certain things impede weight loss for me (insufficient Water intake, processed foods of any kind, carbohydrates, insufficient fat in my diet). I am at the beginning of my VSG journey, so I will see if that still applies and rigorously tracking weight and food/water intake will give me access to tweaking my diet in the future. Every time I have lost weight in the past I hit a point where the hunger, cravings, etc. begin to rage and I did not control them. I believe VSG will help me manage that.

I suspect that the people who are effective at long term weight loss/management learn from trial and error what works best for their body. There are people who do better on lower fats and people who do better on higher fats. Our basal metabolism differs. There are things that may trigger Fluid retention or weight gain. But tweaking and discovering what is going to work and be effective (as with anything in life) requires a powerful and empowering relationship to the facts.

So my recommendation is different from others - don't resist the scale. Reform your relationship to the scale. Get what the scale says as nothing other than a fact and then look at what's happening with your diet, is there anything to tweak and most importantly, look at trends and patterns not day by day. The day to day probably doesn't tell us much. We are in this for the long haul.

I used to avoid the scale - now I bring discipline to recording daily what is happening. It doesn't mean I always like it :-)

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I have been just not weighing at all. Because my emotional well being needs the break. I obsess over my weight so much. The sad thing is I have actually canceled my Dr appointments (before WLS) because I knew I had to step on those hated scales. While I was in the weight loss mode I looked forward to weighing, Not so much now!! I will weigh but not everyday!! BTW did you know that you can refuse to weigh a the DR's office. When I go to my Bariatric Dr of course I weigh. But not at my PCP. I don't feel like my PCP needs me to weigh unless I need med's that go by weight. Any how we all GOTTA do WHAT it takes ro be ok with ourselves. Good Luck

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What I'm about to say is easier said than done and I don't want to pretend that I have beaten the scale demon down. I still struggle all the time with scale based disappointment and fighting the feelings of failure that can come along. But ideally......

The scale can be a great tool in our arsenal along with all our other WLS tools, but only if we change our relationship with it. We have to use it with the same emotional detachment that we feel towards blenders, measuring cups, food scales, etc.

The scale will tell us on any given day how much Water, muscle, bone and fat we are carrying that day. The scale goes up sometimes. That should be our cue to do some soul searching. As in.....have we stayed on our plan? have we been honest about quantities? If we followed our plan, then no worries, our bodies sometimes go through adjustments, especially with water retention. If we haven't followed our plan, then the scale is our cue that what we have been doing is not giving us the results we want.

I log my weight once a week, but peek at the mid-week mark, to minimize surprises.

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I weigh once a week. After all these years and staying in a " range" I'm ok with, I can't be moody up and down according to that days weight.
Just for me, I'm ok once a week and work from there.
Some months are great. Some not. Still I try


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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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