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Decision To Make --Yes and Scared



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Hello- I am new. I need to hear from those who have done this. I am in the pre-op stage -waiting insurance VSG approval. I have a BMI 35 and told not to drop any weight. I am still trying to ensure I am making right decision. My questions are below:

1. Many people in my life, especially my own family, would think of it as a failure to resort to such measures. I am not telling anyone I am having WLS except my husband. Is it possible to keep it from my family, co-workers, & friends long-term?

2. Hard to find published research with longtern results because it is still relatively new and often patients eventually stop following up with center/surgeon. What is it like for those who are 5-10 years out?

3. I plan to only take a week to recover. Surgery on Wed and back to work week later on following Thursday and Friday. I am a College Professor & Nurse Practitioner. How is the fatigue? manageable? I have had Laparoscopic surgery so I know what that feels like.

4. How easy is it to gain weight after sleeve? Does it seem to come on faster for any reason?

5. I know there is the window of 12-18 months to make use of tool. 3 or more years out you will be able to consume more food than 1/4-1/2 cup. Lets say 1 cup. Could you at this point eat normal but watching your calories and carbs? For example, eat healthy meal and have a small piece of dessert on occasions within that 1 cup?

Thanks

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There's a lot to unpack in this post.

First, let's talk about your screen name, "hatemyreflection". That jumped out at me because I used to feel the same way. One of the ways I got past that was to stop telling myself that. Beating yourself up doesn't help you lose weight. It just makes you feel bad. Consider a new screen name more fitting of your new direction.

Tell the haters that the real failure would be not addressing your weight & dying before you should.

Is it possible to keep visible weight loss from people long term? No. Nor should it be. Don't hide it, Celebrate it! Show it off! I'm nearly 3 years post surgery & in all this time, I only found one person who had a negative reaction to it. Ironically, she needed WLS surgery too.

You plan to take a week to recover? That's nice. If you're a nurse practitioner, you know sometimes people recover quickly & sometimes they take longer. Be kind to yourself & take as much time as you need.

Regaining weight is unique to every person. Some people do it easily, some keep it off for longer. If there was a magic formula that worked for everyone, we'd all use it.

Careful of the term "eat normal". You're going to have a new normal. Then another new normal. Then another.

I know this is your first post & you have lots of questions. Good! Keep asking. But be prepared to leave some preconceptions behind.

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Everything DaleCruse said is so right! I'm afraid I can't speak to long-term results because I only just reached a month post-surgery, but my father-in-law (who has been awesomely supportive) had a bypass with my surgeon a little over 10 years ago and has done very well.

I was also worried that people would see this as the "easy way out" and that I was failure for needing surgery or just too lazy to "do things the right way". It turns out, that was really all in my own head. Those were my own doubts that I was projecting onto people who love and care about me. I haven't had a single negative reaction, and if anyone felt otherwise they had to the good sense to keep it to themselves. And honestly, just telling people made the whole thing so much easier. Things get hard to hide. There will be points where even before surgery you're eating tiny portions or nothing but liquids - people notice. After surgery, in those first few weeks, weight just sort of falls off quickly. Even if you don't see it in the mirror, they will. My coworkers asked me a million questions every step of the way - not because they were nosy, but because they care about me. They wanted to know what to expect so they could know how to help and support. It felt amazing.

I'm 27 and have an office job and I expected to take a week off. I ended up just a little bit over at 10 days because I ended up feeling incredibly fatigued. I tend to have low Iron to begin with so between surgery and getting my period for the first time in years - I just wanted to hibernate. It could be totally different for you.

Eating stuff... I can't really do more than 1/4 to 1/3 cup at a sitting right now, which is totally normal. I'll work up to 1/2 cup over time and eventually, a small meal. My father in law usually doesn't finish a full plate, but what he does eat would still be a healthy, balanced portion size.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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