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I told my husband and two teen daughters. I told 2 close friends. That's it. Work knew I was having an elective surgery and I would be out for a few days. I didn't tell my mother (who was amazingly judgmental) or my sister (because I didn't think she would understand.)
I never regretted my decision. Obviously I've told anyone involved in my medical care. Otherwise, I tell people I keep careful records of everything I eat and log it and exercise way more than I used to. All of which is entirely true. Along with eating a high Protein, almost no carb diet.
If anyone pushes on whether I've had surgery (and it's someone I don't know well or an acquaintance) I ask if they had sex the night before in response. They look at me like I have two heads. Then I say that I prefer not to answer personal medical questions - and I consider that information private, just like my sex life. It usually shuts them right down and makes them laugh when the realize how rude asking that kind of question really is.

Perfect response to the rude question! Love it! [emoji12]


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ɪ ᴄʜᴏᴏsᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ ᴇxᴄᴇᴘᴛ ᴀ ғᴇᴡ ᴄʟᴏsᴇ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ sʜᴀʀᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ.
ɪ'ᴍ ᴀ ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴘʀɪᴠᴀᴛᴇ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛʀᴇᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴀɴʏ ᴅɪғғᴇʀᴇɴᴛ ɪғ ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ ᴋɴᴇᴡ ᴏʀ ᴋɴᴏᴡs ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴍʏ sᴜʀɢᴇʀʏ.
ɪɴ 3 ᴍᴏɴᴛʜs ɪ'ᴠᴇ ʟᴏsᴛ ᴀ ɴᴏᴛɪᴄᴇᴀʙʟᴇ 40ʟʙs ʙᴜᴛ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ɪᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡɴ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴡᴀs ᴄʜᴀɴɢɪɴɢ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ. ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ sᴜʀɢᴇʀʏ ɪ ʜᴀᴅ ʟᴏsᴛ 40ʟʙsᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴀ ʏᴇᴀʀ sᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴇɪɢʜᴛ ʟᴏss ᴡᴀs ᴋɴᴏᴡɴ.
ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ sʜᴀʀᴇ ɪᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ, ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴀ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴᴀʟ ᴄʜᴏɪᴄᴇ.
ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ɴᴏ ʀᴇɢʀᴇᴛs ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ɪ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴄɪsɪᴏɴ.




My experience was very similar. I began about 4 years ago losing weight, got stuck and couldn't seem to get any further than the 70 lost on my own, then chose to go the sleeve route just 3 months ago. Most people just notice that I seem to have broken through my plateau. [emoji6]. I told only 2 friends and my close family. I have now told 2 more friends since we eat out with them often. They sensed something was different. I just feel better that this is private. I don't want to answer the curiosity questions and don't want the dumb comments or the constant "so how are you doing?"


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I'm day 6 post op. I'm very lucky to have a close friend who is 14 months post op - she's been a god-send - and two coworkers who are 11 months post op. I didn't keep it a secret at work. Figured everyone would know eventually. But I did not tell my or my husbands family. I tested the topic with my sisters last summer, who are both thin btw, and after getting the standard "isn't that for people who just don't have the discipline to eat right and work out?" I decided I didn't need to hear their opinions or worries and kept it to myself. I probably will eventually tell them but I only see them once or twice a year so hopefully I'll be a lot thinner when I do.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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